Someone has some advice how to 'survive' this?
Maybe someone experienced the same? how did it go?
Thanks for your time.
Greetings.
Someone has some advice how to 'survive' this?
Maybe someone experienced the same? how did it go?
Thanks for your time.
Greetings.
six months is a long time... and whether your relationship survives it or not is dependant on many things. like how long have you been together before, or whether you or she meets somebody interesting in the time away from each other.
Here's what I've done in a similar situation... but let me tell you upfront, my relationship didn't survive the five months she was away from me:
- take as much vacation as you can and visit her ... a two weeks trip to where she is can do wonders.
- talk to her on the phone, use skype, msn or something like that. it doesn't have to be every day, in fact, it's probably better if it's "just" every other day, so you keep looking forward to those phone calls and they don't become too big of a routine.
- trust her ... don't try to control her, to know every thing she's done since you've last spoken. you should be interested... but she will go out some nights, she will meet other guys, she will talk to them, she will make plenty of new friends. it doesn't mean that she's unfaithful.
- try to not make her feel guilty. if you should start a fight during those six months, don't blame her for "leaving you".
- send her little gifts... personal things from you, like a shirt you've worn, the picture of you two on your nightstand.
- send her letters ... they do wonders
- ... and expect all those things in return.
6 months is NOT a long time at all to be apart...come on it's nothing!
If you love each other being faithful should not be a problem.
And actually, 6 months is precisely the right amount of time to allow you both to get some quality time being with your self...enjoying going out with your mates, doing stuff you'd never do as a couple...
It can be very liberating you know to not always be stuck with someone else
If your relationship ever broke up due to 6 months apart then it was never meant to last!
She is going to study abroad to hook up with foreign to her men. Hope you weren't dating her long, tell you you're going to do some studying of your own in Korea or Japan. lol
when you really think about it, 6 months is actually a short period of time.
raverboy
...this is just my perspective on the situation...
6 months is nothing.. the normal course of life is going on.. and that, suddenly she is back and very happy to see you again!
dont worry..
with you being so worried about your gf, it shows that you don't really trust her. why is that?
raverboy
...this is just my perspective on the situation...
I'll give you the best advice anyone is ever going to give you, and I promise you won't like it. In fact, most people will disagree with it. Doesn't mean the advice is any less valid.
Look at this period as a break in the relationship. She's going to go off, she's going to meet a guy (or guys), and she's either going to end the relationship or keep her little fling a secret. Don't be the dope sitting at home waiting obediently while his girl is off having the time of her life in Europe, meeting a bevy of foreign men and reveling in the greatest experience of her life. If you had balls, and no offense, most men don't, you'd be upfront about this. You'd let her go off and enjoy this opportunity without a shred of guilt. You won't because you are a typical westerner (note, I am a westerner as well, though of the atypical variety).
The best thing for you to do, the smartest, in fact, is to accept this and to spend those six months single. Meet some new people. Have a few experiences of your own. Maybe when she gets back you'll have realized you aren't ready to continue a relationship and you'll want to move on. Maybe you'll come to the conclusion that nobody else comes close to her. Whatever happens, you'll have had six great months and you won't have been someone's sucker.
To sum it up: while your girl is studying abroad you should be here studying a broad. Hur hur hur.
Best of luck, man. Don't believe me if that helps you sleep better at night.
Last edited by Gribble; 01-03-10 at 08:13 AM.
God, so atrocious in the Old Testament, so attractive in the New--the Jekyl and Hyde of sacred romance.
-Mark Twain
If people are good only because they fear punishment and hope for reward, then we are a sorry lot indeed.
-Albert Einstein
^^^ no one can hold me down...!!
raverboy
...this is just my perspective on the situation...
Well 6 months isn't that long. All you have to do is call once in a while and hope everything will stay strong. It all depends on what she is exposed to and how stong your relationship is.
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I'm a girl, who went to study into a foreign country for 5 months. And here's what I have to say:
if everything was well in the relationship before she left, if you had fun together, had good sex together and so on - she will miss you and she will not try to hook up with anybody else, she will not cheat and etc.. BUT - if you had issues before her departure, if you were kind of growing apart, weren't so passionate, didn't have satisfying sex or what so ever, then I suggest you'd listen to Gribble, because she will probably try to live as a single girl during the 6-month-period, and so should you. If you had a good relationship, though - TRUST HER! Be normal, be casual - talk to her (not every day!), write to her (letters really are a good surprise!) about you (don't ask many questions!). Then everything will work out, because for a good relationship 6 months don't matter.
In my case, after I came to study here (in a foreign country) I understood pretty quickly, that I will not be happy with my boyfriend, when I go back home, and already after the first 2 weeks I started acting single. I didn't want to talk to my boyfriend so much anymore, so I started avoiding the Messenger, I didn't text message him as often as I used to.. I'm not back home yet, but I have a strong feeling that when I get home a last, I will finish our relationship. I haven't cheated on him, but I know our relationship isn't going to last long. So if you start getting any hints what so ever.. analyze and accept the situation and try to move on.
Break up with her. You're too young to be able to weather an LDR for that long under those circumstances. That's not a criticism, just a fact. Trying to stay together is going to destroy everything good about your relationship and any chance you might have of ever getting back together.
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