"Depends on the Guy?" or is this weird?

[pink1234]

I have been with my boyfriend for over three years. We are very in love and he treats me well. I know his family, friends, we are practically inseparable. The thing that bothers me is how I feel like he keeps me a secret or doesn't acknowledge me on social media.

On Facebook his relationship is not listed, it's hidden. He NEVER has me as his profile picture or even puts pictures of us up together. On Twitter and Facebook he will make comments about his friends and roommates, but never me. He will say "I will miss my boys Jay and Mike when I go on vacation". Not me. Or say "Watching a movie with my roommates", and not include me in the status even if I'm right there. One time in particular I couldn't believe was when me, his roommates, and friends were going out for his 21st and he mentioned everyone, I mean EVERYONE which was like 20 people, (even friends he isn't close to by name) in his Facebook status BUT did not mentin me. Even though I had planned the whole get together!. He has an Instagram and will take pictures of the most random things (his distant cousin, a sunset, himself, distant friends) but not me. I tell him I want to take more couple pictures and ask him to put our relationship status on Facebook, but he claims he hates taking pictures, people are too nosy on social media, he doesn't like his face in the picture of us (but then he will post the same picture he said he hated but with me cut out). For an outsider looking in you wouldn't even no I was part of his life at all.

Ever so often I will cry over this in confusion. It gets to me because I see other couples who have been dating less time then us posting so many couple pictures, boyfriends making status of how special their girlfriend is,showing their relationship status on Facebook, mentioning their girlfriends in their weekend plans, or tweeting a sweet message to their girl. And I'm not even a flashy person who likes people in my business. It just hurts that it feels like he makes an ACTIVE effort to not include me on his Facebook and Twitter. I feel like every time I bring it up it ends in a fight about why I am so sensitive. Does he do this because he feels I'm not the "one"? Would the "right" girl make him want to do those things and represent me online? Does it depend on the guy? I'm so confused. I feel like he treats me so well in person and is an amazing boyfriend in that way. He introduced me to his whole family, all his friends, and is affectionate in public. Yet online Im like a secret. I just need some help understanding from a male point of view on this.

[rafterman]

I feel like he treats me so well in person and is an amazing boyfriend in that way. He introduced me to his whole family, all his friends, and is affectionate in public. Yet online Im like a secret. I just need some help understanding from a male point of view on this.

^^^^^^Does'nt this mean alot ? He may be protecting your modesty and privacy by not spraying it ( his relationship ) all over the Net. It does depend on the individual, after all it is his private life,of which you are a part of

[basilandthyme]

Pink, what does he do if you load a photo of the two of you together and tag him in it?

[pink1234]

He just leaves it and doesn't comment or say anything.

[basilandthyme]

Hmmm... I don't think I could be as laid back as Rafterman is.

I guess the bit which would worry me is him saying you are too sensitive when you raise the issue and him not discussing it further. Thing is, whether he agrees or not, you feel how you feel and he needs to accept how you feel.

At the very least, I'd be wanting a conversation where instead of dismissing your feelings, he says something like "I understand you feel left out, but the reason I do it is XYandZ" I bet you'd feel better if you could understand his rationale, yes? While partners don't always agree with each other, understanding where the partner comes from is 3/4 of the battle of acceptance.

[michelle23]

you need to speak up and demand answers. secretive behaviour is a warning sign-why have you put up with this for so long? maybe he is keeping his options open, flirting, cheating... its not looking good..

[lalalita]

What does he do if you write something sweet on his wall? (something that makes it clear you're his girlfriend, like "I love you baby! Had a great time tonight!") Did you send him a relationship status request? Is it public on your wall and just hidden on his? Or did he not even accept it?

[Calvin]

i guess it could be that he's a private individual but apparently he treats you well so i dont want to assume he has someone else. i was a little like that in my last relationship to be honest, she was annoyed too but she got used to it and we had that trust. u could be upfront and ask him why he isnt more open about ur relationship online