Text.. back? Huh?

[Gratedwasabi]

Okay. So I went on a really great date with this very sweet woman last Wednesday. With Thanksgiving and her being out of town I waited until yesterday, Sunday, to call her. Left her a short and nice voicemail.

Today, Monday, she texted... me.. back.. Now. It was a very nice text, playful, and she said she had finals stuff but she'd like to go out after next Friday. Great and all but.. she.. texted.. me.. instead of calling me back. What's with that? Opinions?

She's a bit of a shy girl, it took a lot of effort and smoothness to get any contact during the first date and she would blush pretty fiercely at any compliments and touching. But she also came over to my apartment and had no problem cuddling up a bit, so not THAT shy.

Is it just a convenience thing, texting back instead of calling? Or is it being shy? Just curious, it seems kind of strange (although I'm much, MUCH better with written/typed word then I am with spoken in those situations so I'm not really bothered by it.)

[MerryH]

I'm much, MUCH better with written/typed word then I am with spoken in those situations

She probably feels the same way. Don't analyze it too much.

[sweetkissesforu]

its 2010 every1 texts instead of phoning

[Gratedwasabi]

She probably feels the same way. Don't analyze it too much.

Just curious is all. I feel cheated because I had to work up the nerve to call her, swallow the lump in my throat, and she gets away with texting! Women are no fair at all.

[MerryH]

Haha. Well, if she's shy, she might have had to work up the courage to even text you. At least she said yes to the date. That's the important part.

[sweetkissesforu]

Just curious is all. I feel cheated because I had to work up the nerve to call her, swallow the lump in my throat, and she gets away with texting! Women are no fair at all.

lol you love us were special world is a better place with women in it trust me

[trouble_sleepin]

She's probably still feeling really shy about calling you... that and you probably came off as sounding a lot smoother than how she thought she would come out on the phone. A text message gives you the chance to think about what you'll say and how you'll say it. I'd say keep your patience with her. Eventually she'll feel comfortable enough with you so you don't have to work as hard trying to get her out of her shell and you both can just enjoy being together. Good luck with everything!!

[megxox]

Personally, I'm terrified of talking on the phone. I think I'll have nothing to say, I'll be afraid the guy won't answer, it'll be awkward, blah blah blah. With texting there's a much smaller chance I'll embarrass myself. Just be happy she texted you =) I mean, she could have blown you off completely?

[shicchan]

She's probably still feeling really shy about calling you... that and you probably came off as sounding a lot smoother than how she thought she would come out on the phone. A text message gives you the chance to think about what you'll say and how you'll say it.

I agree with this. I know how hard you work up the nerve to call her because I've done that. (I'm female, though.) Whenever I called whom I like a lot, it took me 20 minutes to finally push the "talk" button. BUT I still needed the gut to only text him. I end up thinking how he feels or how he reacts after sending my messages. So maybe she feels the same.

[trouble_sleepin]

I agree with this. I know how hard you work up the nerve to call her because I've done that. (I'm female, though.) Whenever I called whom I like a lot, it took me 20 minutes to finally push the "talk" button. BUT I still needed the gut to only text him. I end up thinking how he feels or how he reacts after sending my messages. So maybe she feels the same.

I agree! I think girls can feel just as nervous as guys do. And kudos to you for facing your fears and calling the guy you like =)

[shicchan]

I agree! I think girls can feel just as nervous as guys do. And kudos to you for facing your fears and calling the guy you like =)

Thank you!

[Take2]

Yeah, I can stand in front of 3,000 people and speak with no problem. I can make conversation for hours on a date or at a party or even at a bus stop with strangers. But I am somewhat phobic about making phone calls, particularly when there is even the smallest chance of rejection. There are millions of reasons why she might have chosen to text you rather than calling. Since the text was to accept a date, probably it was a reason that had to do with her and not with you.

I think it is important to remember during the entire early dating stage that this is an actual person, with nuances and quirks that you know nothing about. You cannot deduce the reasons for anything this person does. But it's a great time to set a precedent for open communication. You can ask almost any question in a calm and non-judgemental tone because you both know that you don't know each other well. Like when you go on that date, you can say you are so glad she texted so the 2 of you could go out. Then you can ask her if she texts a lot more than she calls in general.

[Gratedwasabi]

I'll probably just tease her for texting me instead of calling. It's my way. :p

Very true, though, good points all. It's actually kind of flattering to think she might have been too nervous to call me back. And we exchanged a couple of flirty texts after the initial one, so it's all good.

[shicchan]

good to know!

[Gratedwasabi]

Also, here's a query.

The woman has finals this and next week for school and suggested we meet after that since she's super busy right now. I, being an impatient man, suggested she let me come up to her place and cook her dinner before then.. since she has to eat anyway. She said it was quite tempting and if it'd be okay to leave me with a maybe for now which I said was fine and I understood she was really busy right now.

Should I try to push the idea/tempt her with chocolate? (I'm also a Chef for a living, so I tend to be able to persuade people to let me cook for them.) Or should I behave, let her focus on finals, and then take her out in a couple weeks?

Just eager to see her again and I enjoy cooking for people (especially gorgeous women, hahaha.)