Mid blow job to running out the house never speaking again.

[drunklove]

So this morning my girlfriend is doing a great job in bed.

her phone dings... like a text message.. she looks at it im like whos that? she says its alarm. im like ok.

Ding...again shes looks at it and says oops i hit snooze.

I lean over and i say lets see... she says ok sorry its a guy....

I look at the text and he says sorry I was sleeping didnt get your text last night.

We have had a history of trust issues and random guy friends or more than friends in the picture...

Was a boiling point for me and I lept out of bed still erect but not for long as im now fuming.

I rush downstairs well getting dressed she is trying to stop me.

I need an out...

I remember her phones upstairs and i say i wanna talk to him if he is just a friend (which is what she is now saying). so she says ya thats fine and rushes upstairs to grab phone and Im out the damn door running to my van peel out of the parking lot and im doin 90 on the road straight home. turned phone off and havnt spoken since.

its not the fact that she has guy friends texting her all the time.
Its when she hides it from me and Lies to my face hiding it tells me that is it more than just friends.
I read that online or text relationships become cheating when you have to hide it from your partner. any one agree with that?

So its been 4 hours now since happened. Im still upset and I think only choice is to end this.

Kinda weird that im not overly upset. I dont see a future with someone who tells me that love me soo much more than the stars in the sky one minute and then the next lie to my face and hide stuff from me.

THOUGHTS ? ....

[bearz]

So a text message on her phone was more important to her than finishing the bj?

If you're not really upset, just leave her and move on. If you actually do care then have a talk with her. But I have feeling that's not going to get you anywhere.

[drunklove]

man we have had sooo many talks

[Wakeup]

My thoughts are that this is total bullsh*t:

its not the fact that she has guy friends texting her all the time.

I think that is the very fact. You don't trust her (probably for good reason if she's being shady with other guys and won't give it up) and you'd like her to cut all her interactions, texting, and one-on-on actions with other men.
Why she lies about things is easy... she does it because if she doesn't, you'll try to control who she does and doesn't hang with, talk to or text with and she knows you'll freak out.

Its when she hides it from me and Lies to my face hiding it tells me that is it more than just friends.
I read that online or text relationships become cheating when you have to hide it from your partner. any one agree with that?

The thing you should be focusing on is that you two are fundamentally incompatible and you do not have the same relationship boundaries. If you ever want this to work functionally, then you'll either work it out with her that she doesn't text other guys or hang out with them without you and she agrees to that or, you learn to be cool with her doing date like activities with other guys besides you. (neither is likely since it's been an ongoing bone of contention and by the way you handled this situation)

Thoughts! Yes, i think you should break up with her as well and I hope your demontrative need to show her how pissed off you were wasn't just a ploy to make her suffer and then you'll go back for more of the same when she's sufficiently remorseful (in your estimation)

You two sound like oil and water (ya just will not mix, ever) and you don't know how to maturely handle conflict either. Something you might want to work on so you'll be more equipped at conflict resolution in your next try at being in a happy relationship.

[drunklove]

thanks for the response. everything was good. we were very open. we had good fights that we grew from but she cant stop lying to me about things.
I do pry. and every time I have pried I have found a man she chats with that pushes the boundaries of friends.
So Yes just end this be sad for a while and find a more compatable lady. thanks for the advice

[amy37]

Good for you drunklove, for knowing when to leave a horrible relationship.

Being in a wrong relationship stops you from being in the right one.

[Wakeup]

thanks for the response. everything was good. we were very open. we had good fights that we grew from but she cant stop lying to me about things.
I do pry. and every time I have pried I have found a man she chats with that pushes the boundaries of friends.
So Yes just end this be sad for a while and find a more compatable lady. thanks for the advice

I hope you mean that and you'll not let her hoover you back once you're feeling lonely.

[drunklove]

we have spoken and she is kinda making it seem like i force her to lie about things because she is afraid i will over react and be threatened by her male friends creeping in to the picture....

[drunklove]

Last week an old gf messaged me on facebook and instead of responding to her i ended up erasing 50 friends who i havnt talked to or were girls i had romantic interest in in th past.

So I tell my girlfriend this because im open. then I say. YOu contacted by any old flings or you been chatting with any guy friends lately. like whats new and new news. and shes like nope nope noep nope.

and then in the morning the text thing happened.

Now im begining to think that maybe the way i worded that by introducing my innocence and great boyfriend behaviour first and then questioning her own relationships she maybe froze under pressure? didnt wanna seem like the bad guys so cast a harmless white lie saying she hadnt been in contact with guys? or is she covering up something with guys thats much more or maybe just challenging the lines of friendship?

Thoughts? lol

and thanks for all the input. so hard to end something you work so hard to build. and could be throwing away a great relationship if it really is all innoccent?

[michelle23]

I think in these situations u need to follow ur instincts. U dont trust her, she lies, she continues to talk/text other men knowing how much it hurts u. She has no empathy for ur feelings and if u were really important to her shed put you first and realize she cant behave in a way that causes so many issues and conflict.

Ur wasting ur time-you dont have the same morals, values or boundaries. It will never work and as long as u stay ull be unhappy.

Do u have low self worth that ull alow her to treat u this way. If people dont treat u the same way u treat them-u have to havee enough self respect to walk away. People treat us the way we allow them to and ur tolerance and forgiveness makes her think ur a fool that she can walk all over.

I mean this in the nicest way but grow some balls man and tell her to get stuffed

[Wakeup]

Last week an old gf messaged me on facebook and instead of responding to her i ended up erasing 50 friends who i havnt talked to or were girls i had romantic interest in in th past.

So I tell my girlfriend this because im open. then I say. YOu contacted by any old flings or you been chatting with any guy friends lately. like whats new and new news. and shes like nope nope noep nope.

and then in the morning the text thing happened.

Now im begining to think that maybe the way i worded that by introducing my innocence and great boyfriend behaviour first and then questioning her own relationships she maybe froze under pressure? didnt wanna seem like the bad guys so cast a harmless white lie saying she hadnt been in contact with guys? or is she covering up something with guys thats much more or maybe just challenging the lines of friendship?

Thoughts? lol

and thanks for all the input. so hard to end something you work so hard to build. and could be throwing away a great relationship if it really is all innoccent?

Well, well, well. There's you all up on the getting hoovered back in. You're easy!

You don't trust this girl and she gives you good reason not to. (You are overly jealous and untrusting though as well ~ what a poor match for both of you)

Notice how she didn't say she was going to stop getting all this attention and texting? All she did was blame you for MAKING her lie. (although you do not handle things very calmly to be honest). Since you are too afraid to be without her so you'd rather just put all the red flags under the rug, I suggest you learn to be less jealous and suspicious of her and the attention she likes from other males.

[drunklove]

wow Michelle23 very well said. I kind of get the feeling that her past abusive relationships make her feel like its not ok to talk to other guys as friends and she is some how reflecting that on to me? Im a pretty easy going guy and dont mind male friends. hell i have half a dozen good close female friends.

The reason I kinda cling to her and dont run away is because everything else in the relationship is great. but once a month an issue like this pops up and kinda is blown out of proportion, let to cool down, realize its not that big a deal and kinda grow from it.

BUT now im wondering if these are big deals that reflect our relationship way down the road. Im so conflicted right now.

[Cerby]

we have spoken and she is kinda making it seem like i force her to lie about things because she is afraid i will over react and be threatened by her male friends creeping in to the picture....

Yea, blowing up in bed then peeling out of the parking lot at 90 while she is trying to smooth it over makes me wonder why she thinks you'll over-react...

How long have you been together?