My friend did stuff behind my back and is now wanting to reconcile, what to do?

[broken-hearted]

I feel like I'm wasting my time with such people in my life, but also feel like screwing things up will make it hard for future as I do have to face her once in a while and I don't want an enemy. So I don't know how to react.

Okay so my friend and I planned to hang out tonight and just kid around, watch some cartoons, get some food and have a fun night. and we decided to call our other friend, but not his gf. You'll see why in a bit, basically she and my friend don't get along well and he's always provoking her (cause he's friends well was friends with her bf but she changed him and he's not the same) so I sent a text to her bf and told him if he wants to hang with us but preferably without her as she doesn't get along with other friend but we can all hang out tomorrow (without him) and have fun too, and these are our conversations today:

hey wanna hang around tonight? (she asked, playing dumb as if she doesn't know I made plans and to see my reaction, pissed that I didn't invite her, my other friend called me and said he spoke to the guy and he said he was angry at me for sending such a message to him)

I said: Hey, how about tomorrow? I made plans to watch cartoons with __ and __ tonight, you can come if you like but I have a feeling you wouldn't want to because of ___

No worries, i wnt come where i am nt wantd, bt feel free to invite my bf on his own. oh wait u already that. congratulations

I didn't say you were not wanted. I thought I was doing you a favor, judging by the way you reacted last time we went out together 'oh no, not him, why'd you invite him?' and you saying you didn't want to see him for at least 6 months. I thought that you'd be annoyed. I know he enjoys annoying you and I didn't want another night of that. I did tell your bf though that tomorrow we can meet up without him and do something fun for us. I'm not gonna chose sides and if you don't get along then it's not my problem. and I didn't tell your bf not to bring you just that I'd rather not have you purely because I know what ___'s gonna be like and how it's gonna affect all of us. He can't wait to see you so he can bug you more. Do you really want that? When you're not there he's not like that. So I'd rather avoid all the tension and negative remarks. Sorry for pissing you off.

put urself in my place nd than u will be able to understand.anw i am nt planning to bother with this anymore.dnt count on me tmrw. I am disappointd in u sorry bt i was realy mistaken about u bt again thats my prob. bye

You're disappointed in me? Imagine how I feel knowing you told people my personal shit. Stuff I confided in you and told you not to tell. People knew it before even knowing me. I don't do that to people. I don't backstab like that. I know its you cause some of it you're the only one that knows about it. Like ex relationship, I was in a situation back then where I had to tell you otherwise I wouldn't cause its something negative for me I'd rather no one know. I didn't say anything cause I liked you and hoped I could tolerate it and keep you as a friend but learn my lesson to not trust you with things I don't want others knowing. but you screwed up big time with that. its like you told my whole life story to people. I don't go round doing that, I don't violate trust and privacy. and I'm still not gonna go round telling people things cause I'm better than that, I hate you for it but I don't pull off shit like that, no matter what. for ****s sake grow up. just cause I didn't invite you doesn't mean I don't enjoy your company, just that I didn't want to have a night of arguments and learn to accept that I'm friends with him. I don't judge who you hang out with. so I'd expect others to do the same with me. And I don't want to answer cause I don't want to talk cause I'm in such a mood that I'm worried I'll say shit I'll regret. I don't want to make an enemy but you need to know where I'm coming from too and put yourself in my shoes as well.

If u hate me so much y didnt u ever tel me anyth bt just kept smiling in my face?

Cause I don't hate you entirely. Well part of me is pissed off but another part of me enjoys your company so I try and deal with it.

If i did things to u i am truely sory i wish u came earlier to me about it tho Wel i suggest that we meet up when u r free just the two of us and talk everyth thro

Well I didn't want to make a negative situation. I didn't even know how to react. And it wasn't that long ago that I found out, stuff slipped out and I realized that more than enough about me is out there. And some stuff I don't care much, like my citizenships or the fact that I'm almost deaf, but still, why go round saying meaningless things to people? Like when ___ asked why you lived with us many years before. I didn't tell him you had an abusive father you couldn't get away from. I said you were looking for an apartment and my mom offered you to stay here till you find a good deal. Sure it wasn't truthful, but what would you rather he know? Same way I'd rather people not know of my parents money problems. Not that I want them to think I'm super rich or anything. I'm a pretty modest person but I don't want them thinking I can't afford bread. Which was a situation I hated being in and don't want people picturing it.

U misunderstood a lot of things

It doesn't matter cause that's how I understood things and it doesn't change how I feel about the situation. Things are different now, I don't like losing trust in someone and I don't think things can go back to the way they were even if we tried. I'm not gonna sit around hating you, whatever reason you had, you had. But don't expect me to try and act like before because I can't. maybe in the future things will change, I'm not denying that but for now I don't want to deal with all this drama.

Wel if ur hurt cz of things u misunderstood.ur prob.we culd talk and clear things bt if u prefer things this way go ahead.i dnt want to have being normal to me once i cnt stand hypocricy anw. Future? It might be 2 late





I don't know if I should meet up with her, or just get rid of her. I don't like her in general, she used me, but we're family friends, and her moms a big time user too and my mom can't stand them either. But I have to deal with them as my mom knows her mom and other moms, other people and mutual friends so I'll have to see her every once in a while (hopefully a long while)

[smackie9]

There are times when you just have to end relationships when they get bad and that means friendships too. I myself have walked away from complete groups of friends because I couldn't stand the bull s hit. But lets put that aside and talk about how you handled this. First off you should have talked about this matter to her first. You should have given her the choice to come over or not plain and simple. As a rule of thumb if they come as a pair, either you invite them both or none at all. If they ask why they haven't been invited, then you can express your issue. Secondly, if this is your place they are at, you have the right to set the ground rules. You have every right to tell the guy, that when being a guest at your house, he needs to keep his comments to himself. IMO he is the one you shouldn't invite if he can't control himself...he is the one that is being a douche and starting all this.

Anyways, give it time for things to kool off a bit. You already tried to explain yourself so the rest is up to her. If she can't bring herself to let this one slide, then just cancel her out of your life.