I need some quick advice

[justin326]

I'm going to try to make this short and to the point.

I ended an incredible 14 month relationship because the last month was gone to hell. She went from wanting me to not wanting me, so I ended it because I can't stand having my emotions thrown left to right.

However like I said, the 13 months were nothing short of magic. There was always something different between us. It was that sort of "cool unexplained mysterious bond" that tied us together all the time. We had so many people tell us "wow, you two are in love". Both of our parents and all our friends couldn't believe the energy that flowed between us. Everyone looked up to our relationship because we trusted each other, we respected each other, it was just fantastic.

Now, heres the kicker where everyone is going to say "well what the **** did you expect?" I am 22 and she is 18. She was definately the most mature 18 year old I know, but yes, she is still just 18. She is graduating and everyone is telling me right now that she wants to let loose for awhile, but she will come back. blah blah blah.

The last night we were together was intense. It was like love at its most powerful and breaking moment. Lots of kissing, touching, she had tears in her eyes, blah blah. (no sex or anything like that).

She did ask me one thing, she asked that no matter what happends, she doesnt want me to go anywhere, for me to still be her friend and that she wouldnt know what she would do without me.

So a few days later I told her we needed time off and I couldnt take the ups and downs anymore. At that point I could tell that it finally hit her that she may lose me. She starting crying and telling me that she still needs me around and said for me to call her soon.

So, this is where the advice comes in. You can probably tell that we both care for each other alot. She kept saying for me to call her so should I? or should I let her call me? This was her ups and downs, i did everything I could, so she needs to realize what she lost and let her make the move. What do you think?

Thanks for your time.... time? is time the answer?

[Asip4u]

She is graduating and everyone is telling me right now that she wants to let loose for awhile, but she will come back.

The real question you should be asking is whether you can stand being around her just as a friend...If it's going to make things more complicated between you two, then you should just move on and find someone more mature.

[justin326]

I'm not at all concerned about not being able to find another girl, it's that I have truly fallen in love with this girl and it's more about saying goodbye to a world I know so well. We never bothered to question why we were so drawn together, we just embraced it, and that is what i'm having a hard time questioning what happened.

Most people tell me that she will be back, she just needs to be free for awhile because she's going through that transition... it makes sense, but it still hurts.

And to answer the question above... the answer is no, not now, not unless she realizes what has happened and that she would be willing to start things fresh one step at a time.

My main question like I said was just about the phone call. I guilt easy, and for anyone who knows me, i am painfully over-generous and i put myself 2nd all the time. So when she was crying and telling me she needs me and that she wants me to call her, I feel like im still obligated to and that I should because she's still my girl. Should I call her? let her call me? or just leave things be?

[Asip4u]

How long has it been since the last time you talked? You can call her but it may not solve anything for the long run until you have a serious talk and see where you both stand and how much more you're both willing to give. She's still young and even though there are mature girls at that age, at times they want their space where they can go and see what else is out there. Would she expect you to call her? does she usually get her way? That over-generous part might play a role as well...Some girls like when they're not given so much...Make it a little challenging for her...If it's been awhile since you talked, give her a call but don't make it seem like you're desperate to be with her or anything like that.

[justin326]

It's been 3 days... not long enough. I am pretty sure she would expect me to call her. I think I should just let things be for awhile. I have alot of her stuff here, I am thinking I should just drop them off on her door step, without letting her know. She needs to do some thinking and I think no contact at all for awhile would help. What do you think?

[marcus23]

Dude, don't wait her. Forget her. Proceed with your new life and you will see hundreds of new opportunities.

[missguided.rose]

I think you should give it a few more days, 2-3.. if she hasn't called, call her. It sounds like you two have something amazing and i think if it were me, i'd be doing everything possible to try and make it work. =/

But then again i *am* the eternal optomist.. despite how many shit relationships i've had heh.

[Junket]

Yeah dude it's not cool for her to put you on on "hold" while she goes off and does her thing.

I'd start to move on too.

[roxamillion]

I agree with previous posts. Move on. You might meet someone you love MORE!!