Slip of tongue..

[jinn81]

My gf and I has been together for a year now.. back in 4months ago, when things are still great and all. we had a huge fight because she believe I still love my ex. I tried everything to convince her but I just couldnt get her to trust me anymore.. what should i do? i truly loves her.

The whole scenario is like this.
I get to know my gf from a friend of mine and we sort of hook up really easily because we had so much fun together! Problem at that time is that we are living in a different country. Even though we are in a long distance relationship for the 1st 4 months straight after being together.. we were great, having phone conversations every night for hours and that didnt't stop until recently..which lasted for a year now.. perhaps until now. We visited each other several times and had spent quite alot of quality time together. 1 day we decided to let her come over and a marriage proposal was brought up. We are both delighted to come to that as we will be able to live together as a normal couple. We both love each other very much.

Strings of unfortunete events started happening right after we made our bookings for a marriage.. 1 day when I was at work, she saw past chat (msn) history of mine with my ex-gf. She saw the conversation that happened a year before I get to know my current gf (so it was a while back). She could tell I really love my ex very much and are very much sad and feel insecure after that. She asked me who do I love the most out of the blue. I answered "Probably you" without thinking too deep in thought. Bad mistake.. It is the truth that at that particular time I was still thrilled being able to marry my gf and I really loves her. I never thought of my ex anymore. So later that night, we had a huge arguement.. and I tried so hard to comfort her and in the end I used a even stupider (and ultimately gave my gf a thorn in her heart) reason. I told her I really love her and wanted to be with her. I never thought of my ex.. I said.. Me and my ex had been together for much longer than we have. We were only together for 6months then. I said, me and my ex had reach a stage our love hasnt reach yet. Meaning I had love my ex more than I love her at the time where we made our bookings for marriage. I know it is bad.. but it is this slip of tongue trying to confort her that had caused all this. In truth.. I never meant what I said and I truly love her. But I had hurt her so much with that sentence. Needless to say, it didn't end well there and our relationship went downhill from then on..

I tried and mostly successful at convincing her to stay with me. Albeit she has been trying to break up with me countless times..Along the way we had alot of fights about the same issue. this lasted till February this year. in between this period of time, we had great time together. I just have to say she is the greatest woman I ever know and I love her with all my heart. She just wouldn't believe me I love her the most. In recent months I tried so much.. even flew 4000miles to accompany her to see doctors when she hurt her backbone..and much much more.. (way more than i did b4 we had that problem).. and yet it didn't help..

What do you guys think? I even thought of killing myself to end this misery.. I know I shouldn't have think that way.. and its really immature..But when you truly love a person, and that person didnt ever want to believe you for how you feel.. that feeling is horrible.. I just want to love her and give her all my best. I truly love my gf with all my heart..

Thanks for reading such a long email..

Miserable man.

[Cain]

She's ridiculously insecure. You and her haven't been together near as long as you were with your ex. It's stupid to me that so many people expect someone to love them more than they loved anyone else so quickly.

It's that fairytale romance bullshit.

[jinn81]

I am wondering if there's anyway I could do to make my current gf feel more secure? I dont have contact with my ex for a long time now.. not a memorablia.. nada.. what else can I do?? I really dont want to be argueing over the same issue over and over again... I'm wondering who's problem is it? Its my bad at the start for comparing of who love the most but I never meant it.. I really dont want this relationship to go bad just because of some silly misunderstanding..

[Gigabitch]

If you don't have any memorabilia, how was she able to read an old msn chat? You can delete that stuff, you know.

I think you should get rid of everything having to do with your ex, (for real this time), apologize clearly for hurting your gf and tell her it's time to make a decision. Either she wants you or she doesn't. If she takes you, she has to forgive you. If she can't forgive you, it's over.

Give her an ultimatum. The balance of power in your relationship is all out of whack, and unless you want to be The Bad Guy for the rest of your life, you have to put an end to this cycle of anger and resentment. Tell her that the next time she breaks up with you, you'll believe her. I think she'll get a grip.