Relationship Help - I'd Appreciate Any Advice!

[Nathan1993]

Hello All,

I am in a very sticky situation and any advise is really helpful in this situation.

So I have known this girl for almost 2 years, we have been very good friends and really close! Over the last 3-4 months we have got a lot more close to a point she admitted to falling for me and really liked me. We kissed for the first time around 2 months ago and I had also fallen for her as she is incredible. We have been so close, got on so well and loved each others company. However and a big however! She has a boyfriend. The reason why she hasn't finished it with him yet is because they have been together 3 years and as he is on holiday for 3 weeks she didn't want to just text him.

Last week she was house sitting for a friend of hers so was home alone and asked me to stay for the week, which I of course jumped at the chance as I saw it as an opportunity to get closer to her. We had an amazing 4-5 days together and I done all I could to show her just how much she meant to me, I cooked her dinner, ran a cute bath with rose petals and candles spelling her name (proper gay I know haha) but little things like that which she said she loved! It came to the point she text her friend saying she had to finish it with her boyfriend NOW as she really liked me. We did cross the line and sleep together a few times during the days together which I know is awful because of her boyfriend. However as far as I was aware when she ended it with her boyfriend we would of been together as that's basically what she was saying.

HOWEVER my nightmare struck. I went home a day earlier for work reasons and on Sunday night she went out with a friend and ended up sleeping with a stranger! I am absolutely heart broken and hurt because I care about her as we have been friends for almost 2 years! So it really did hurt and still does now. However as we are not technically 'together' at the minute I didn't know what to say!

This said I met up with her last night as we needed to talk. We spoke for 3-4 hours about the situation and she said she never expected us to become to attached and close. However she knows she will be finishing with her boyfriend when he returns off holiday. That said she said she needed time to sort her head out without diving into another commitment and didn't want to 'drag me along' or expect me to 'wait for her' .... She said she loves me and really does care about me and made the biggest mistake she could of done but she wants time to be the 19 year old she is and just enjoy life before deciding what she wants. She did say 'I don't want to say it will never happen' between us as she does love me, but is that a cover up? Would she like to be with me like she said only a few days ago. She told her friends about me, the lot! So what do I do? If I hadn't of found out about her sleeping with someone I think we would of carried on as normal.

I am so hurt and care about her so much that I am struggling to let go, as much as I should. I love her and love her alot but I feel like the bad guy even though I didnt make the mistake she made. But what can I say to her? I want to tell her that I want to be with her, do all I can for her but I just need clarification on what she wants!

What do I say to her? I will reply and keep you guys posted on this this goes.....



I know the easy thing is to say leave her, dump her and ignore her, which in any nother circumstance I would! but I really am finding it hard to on this occassion because I have known her for a long time, we have always been close and she admitted she made a massive mistake and ****ed up and was never going to hide it from me

[Hooo!]

do what you want

but also dont be surprised if you get hurt in the end.
that for me is a big red flag

saying she loves you and then not quitting her relationship is one thing
then ****ing a stranger is another.

she "made a mistake"
sure
but what if she continues to make more mistakes. That is the possibility you will have to live with
and you will have to double and triple reality check all the time if what you think about her is congruent with reality.

[Nathan1993]

Thank You Hoo

Any help is much appreciated. Any other input would be great.