Can anyone help me? I am so Confused and heart broken.

[Amyejean]

Hi all my name is Amye. I am 24 yrs old and been dating this guy named Jay for 7 months. He's 26.
Our relationship has not been the easiest in the world, he;s bi-polar, and not on mediacation. I love this kid with all my heart and soul, and would do anything for him.
We started having little arguments 4 months into our relationship, and they seemed harmless.
Well 2 weeks ago I snapped. And I said alot of things that I should not have said, but for 6 months everything had been builing up. Long story short, We had a huge argument over a girl-friend of his who i didn't trust. I mean it was hard to trust her when he told me about them sleeping together once a few yrs back, him always teasing me that she likes flirting with him, and that I should be flattered that another girl wants him and he's with me. And the fact that this girl calls his cell phone all the time, I finally had it. I trust Jat alot, and I know he's not screwing around behind my back, but something triggered something in me and I snapped.
Well we talked alitlle here and there, and he said he needed his time. So I gave him soe time, but the pain in my heart was so much that I called him and I needed to know where I stood. He told me that he'd like to work things out that he just wants to be alone to think things thru.
So finally last week he invited me over and we had a good night, I ended up spending the night, left the next morning, and he's called me a few times. But it seems that anytime i talk to him he's distant, but he tells all his friends and mine that he's in love with me.
I talked to him wednesday and I told him I missed him and he said he missed me back, and I was like I love you baby, and he's like I know you do.
I don't want to break up with him, and I know if i keep calling him it's going to drag him away, but the pain is so deep that I can't sit here and cry at work anymore.

Does anyone have any advice? I know this is a strange situation...but I am confused and Hurting really bad.


Thanks
Amye

[Rita]

I think you guys will be ok. The key is to establish better communication so things don't build up. I'm not saying to nag at every little thing, but talk to him when something has bothered you. You can only hold people responsible when they know better, if he has no idea something's wrong, then nothing will change.

[Illusional]

has he always told you that he loves you when you tell him? if yes, then this is a result of the fight and you should talk to him soon. he might be hurt, or there might be another reason about him not responding. however, don't jump to conclusions..get his opinion because you don't want to be left waiting for an answer. raverboy

[youri21]

me say it's over, maybe needs couple of months

[IceQueen]

Amye,

IMHO the guy is simply not worth your suffering. He is not good enough to even go out with.

First of all, what kind of a creep says shit like "You are so lucky I chose you and not her"? I can't imagine anyone *I* would date saying such shit to *ME*, and if he did, I would not even LOOK in his direction anymore, let alone suffer over him and try to speak to him over the phone.

Second of all, he is a guilt-trip master, if I've ever seen one! You are being manipulated left right and center, and you are none the wiser. I am pretty sure he led that girl on -- NOBODY would call for several years if at least SOME reason wasn't given! If she flirts with him, he must flirt BACK! I don't believe for one second that it's all kosher from his side.

Believe me, just about ANY man would treat you better than THAT.

[Amyejean]

HI all, and thanks for replying. I wanted to give you an update on everything that had happened.
Jay and I broke up on Friday night/saturday morning. I was crushed and heart broken like any girl would be. And I am sad to say that yes drinking dulls the pain. But my wekend looke dup some also.
Sunday Jay called me and invited me to dinner to talk. So we drive around for a bit talking, and I told him I was willing to help him any way I could cause I loved him deep down. He surprised me by reaching in his pocket and handing me a white chip. On the chip it had written "1 day at a time, 24 hours", I almost started crying. I had watched him drink himself silly everyday of our relationship and he ifinally woke up and started going to AA. I know its not like everything is better, but it's a giant step cause he admits he has a problem and he's trying to get help. he apoligued for all the times he dind't treat me right, and thought were still broken up he wants to see if things will work outlaster on, he wants to concentrate on getting help, and I told him i'd be there for him 100%.

So I am all happy, but still heart broken.

Amye

[des21]

I think that when substance abuse recovery is in the picture some space and time is necessary. Let him work through his drinking issues before anything starts again.