Still in love with ex wife after 4 years

[accused478]

I need some help.

The short story is I dated/lived with a wonderful girl for 5 years. then we were married and then she wanted a divorce 2 years later. We were so compatible. We had normal growing pains but I thought we were on track to be together forever.

One day out of nowhere she told me she wanted to move to Asia and nothing was going to stop her. She is Asian but grew up in the USA.

She did not want counciling etc.

So now its been 4 years. I still love her like the day we met and she is all I think about. In 4 years I have dated a bunch of women and I am not into them or feel any comfort like I did when I was with my wife.

Now I have not seen her in years and long story short she agreed to have dinner with me 2 nights ago in an Asian city where I just happened to be. We had a good time, spent most of it catching up and hugged goodnight. I was on top of the world going back to my hotel.

From what I can tell she is not dating anyone and I want her back so bad.

What can I do?
I want her to want me back.
I want to have her/my life back....
I was excited to see her but am depressed that it might not go anywhere.

Help....
accused478

[Mish]

I was excited to see her but am depressed that it might not go anywhere.

And most likely it won't. All the reasons why she left will still be in her mind. I don't think it was light hearted decision for her to divorce you. She must have thought about it for a long time until the pros of leaving outweighed the cons. You can try to win her back, but you are starting with a huge handicap and most likely you will fail. My advice is to let the past be the past. Find some one who will appreciate you and love you for who you are. Someone who will stay by you and not leave you.

[accused478]

You can try to win her back, but you are starting with a huge handicap and most likely you will fail.

I want to try and if I fail at least I went down with a fight. I feel so much love for her. When I was with her the other night it was such a feeling of being home. The small jokes and laughs etc. seeing her smile. She even showed up wearing a watch I bought her before we were married.

What can I do? Should I wait for her to contact me or just call her and tell her how I feel? Write her how I feel? I don't want to play games, but from what I read on these forums people seem to suggest to hide your feelings and try to trick the other person back...I just want to be honest and let it all out there.

Thank you for your reply...

[Mish]

What can I do? Should I wait for her to contact me or just call her and tell her how I feel? Write her how I feel? I don't want to play games, but from what I read on these forums people seem to suggest to hide your feelings and try to trick the other person back...I just want to be honest and let it all out there.

You can't play games at this stage. You just tell her how you feel. The saying won't be the hard part, the hard part will be her response. If you look at it from her point of view. You are two different people, living in two different cities in different countries of the world. You tried something a while back and it failed, why repeat the same all over again? The chances are heavily stacked up against you, but you can give it a try, like you said so you know in the future you didn't give up without a fight.

Still, after learning the outcome that I think will be, don't become bitter and without hope, use this closure as opportunity to finally let go and be free. There are a lot of women in this world just like her who have something similar if not better to offer you. Instead of sulking use it as an opportunity to find them.

Good Luck

[IndiReloaded]

The short story is I dated/lived with a wonderful girl for 5 years. then we were married and then she wanted a divorce 2 years later. We were so compatible.

This reminds me of a friend I have. Who's primary marriage advice to young caucasian males is: don't get married. If you get married, *don't* marry an asian woman.

1. You weren't compatible.

2. She's not coming back. Unless you got suddenly rich. Sorry.