He says I make him nervous?

[Ailish]

Sat talking to my man last night. He was sat on a dining chair so I went and sat on his lap, pushing myself up against him talking about things and kissing.

I asked what was up and he said he was nervous cos he didn't know what I was going to do next .
He is quite a quiet guy and is ten years older and a bit more experienced than me....how can I make him nervous?

[Moonchild]

He might be reserved and not used to having a woman sitting on his lap and kissing him. For someone who hasn't been in that situation much before, I can understand it being a bit uncomfortable... That sort of thing is more a mutual flirty position in my opinion, and if that's not something he takes to, he might not be entirely sure what to do about it. You didn't really give a lot of info on his character, but that's my best guess. Ten years older doesn't necessarily make for more experiences that you might expect--the outgoing experience far different things than the reserved. I'm not saying he's inexperienced, but he might not be quite used to the kind of person you are. All women are not the same, after all.

[vashti]

If he interpretted your behavior as being sexually aggressive, and he is a reserved kind of guy, I would guess that would be enough to make him nervous.

[Mish]

Sat talking to my man last night. He was sat on a dining chair so I went and sat on his lap, pushing myself up against him talking about things and kissing.

I asked what was up and he said he was nervous cos he didn't know what I was going to do next .
He is quite a quiet guy and is ten years older and a bit more experienced than me....how can I make him nervous?

Did he say you were making him nervous as part of seating on his lap or in general, or due to something entirely unrelated?

[Michael6084]

seeing as i'll be a representative of the male population, i can see how you would make him nervous.

it's already been said before, but he seems to be a little inexperienced quite possibly despite his age.

also, since us guys are generally more used to taking the initiative of most relationship-related things, having a girl do that i could see would be awkward to him.

how long have you been with him? he may be experienced as a matter of fact, but for all we know it may take him more time to get used to certain girls, especially if he's a reserved individual.

[Ailish]

Hi

thanks for your responses. Am sorry about the briefness of my initial post it kinda took me back a bit when he said that and I just didn't know how to take it.

We have been together 2 years. I say he is experienced because my previous sexual relationships haven't been very good by comparison.

We spoke about it last night as it was bugging me. I wanted to know what he meant. He said that generally he prefers to be a bit more dominant or assertive in bed. He would consider me sitting on his lap like that as me being dominant?

I figured there was a definate difference in perception so we had a long talk last night about preferences, about things he would like to do. What he percieves as being dominant and submissive behaviour and generally exploring our boundaries.

I think due to my previous experiences in an abusive relationship I have been sexually agressive to protect myself from a threat which was never really there with him. I had flashbacks really early on whilst we were having sex and he was great about it. But perhaps it affected me more than I had realised .

Anyways, this talk resulted in us watching porn for a bit which I have never done; at least not by choice, then having the best sex I have ever had in my life. I thought he was good when we met but last night was just mindblowing! I even gave him a blow job which I have been petrified of doing and it was great he was quite pleased about it too.

Thanks for your replies, despite the progress made last night they have helped me put things into perspective...I think lol