Need a good woman advice on the problem at hand.

[xzibit]

Hello readers.

My name here is Xzibit (clearly not my real name, but i rather keep it that way ) and i am going through a very very confusing time in my life. I am a man, and me and my girlfriend used to fight over stupid things for 2 months before we took a break, which was a really bad idea. We been on this break for almost 18 days now, we see each other in school 3 times a week and we finally started having a friend relation, but it started becoming something more ( i think) since when we do see each other we keep smiling back and forth just because we r next to each other. However Ive done a lot to discourage her to coming back by simply talking about us, and all that we can fix and i found out that it has the opposite effect = / (first serious relationship, lasted 7 months be4 the break)

To cut to the cheese, yesterday night we meet up after she got off work and she allowed me to take her out for a quick coffee (our thing to do from back in the day). We talked, and laughed, and had a good time, but at the end of the night i said to myself "eh, what the hell" and i started kissing her, and she was kissing me back, passionately! After the first kiss we were both like "wow, what just happen" and got right back into it. When she got home we talked on the phone for a little and she said that whatever happen tonight doesn't change anything, technically she doesn't consider us a couple since we had this break, and she doesn't want to lead me on to something. Well i know we grown apart, and at times we miss each other, but we also don't want to loose our freedom (we used to spend way too much time together till it ruined our relationship).

My question is, well, if I'm writing about this i obviously care for the girl and i can still say i love her, this was a very big step for us in that time frame, what should i do now not to mess up my chances, she tried to explain herself that that was just an urge, but if she doesn't feel anything for me that wouldn't have happen, she may not be able to say she loves me, but she can still say she likes me She suggested that it was a "friend kiss <chuckle>" but friends don't kiss like that. What im guessing is that her spark isn't lid yet, but its starting to burn a little hotter. So now i ask all you lovely ladies, if you were in this mind set, what would make you want that person back?

To understand our issues please refer to my other post :www . loveforum . net / love-advice-forum /40506-help-i-dont-know-how-save . html

Thank you kindly, hope to hear a few things

[lahnnabell]

If she wanted to get back together, then she would have said so. I think she's interested in having fun right now and I think you should cut your losses. She's clearly unsure of what she wants if she can kiss you passionately, and then try to pass it off as a friendly kiss. Riiight.

[Aeradalia]

Sounds like she's stringing you along... you're not playing her.. she's playing you. If she can have you for the good times whenever she wants, why would she go back to a troubled relationship?

Also, review over all the problems you had when you were in a relationship... would it really be worth it to be with her again? Remember to think with the right head on the issue

[xzibit]

Thank you for your replies

And yes, i have looked at our problems and i can say there were only 3 that caused conflicts. 1. Whenever we did have a small fit, we never resolved it, thus they build-ed up over time and made a brick wall. 2. we spend too much time with ourselves and along with having that wall in our heads, it caused frustration. 3. We go to collage together (same classes) IF those can be fixed (and god are they easy fixes) than we wont have problems, when we didn't see each other everyday back when we first started dating, things were excellent, we had time for ourselves, and each other. Once that changed, it all started to go downhill.

So for a short answer, yes, she defiantly is worth it, we been on a break for little over 2 weeks, my feelings dimmed down a bit, but i still have feelings for her, and i believe we can make it work, and it will be better, and stronger.

Only fear i have is that i might mess up, and it will kill my last chances.

Any words of advice on how to play my game now, currently we are being flirty and I'm trying to reignite the spark in her. Once again thank you kindly for all the responses, hope to see more

[InLoveTrouble]

Sometimes when you do spend too much time together things can get a bit rocky. As I know from experience from the time I lost my job last year to the time I found another (5 months) I drove my fiancé insane. By me being at home all the time and him at the same time, you start to rub the "right" person wrong. If you can change your schedule or perhaps anything you can do to give her the opportunity to miss you, then by all means, do it! I'm not gonna promise that this will definitely work, but it is worth a shot. Don't get too close even if you have the slightest idea she "might" want to try again. Otherwise, stay friends...take it slow, because like you said...she's worth it.

BUT, do understand it's been said that time makes the heart grow fonder is not always true. My ex husband of 7 years decided he wanted a break and after 2 months of yoyo-ing back and forth that he just wanted to be single. It's confusing, but hang in there and hope this helps!