I Have to get this off my heartbroken chest :(

[fdrx7guy]

I just turned 18 and have had little to no experience with love and reltionships when it comes to girls. But this summer I met a beautiful girl at work who interested me alot, but I knew she was kinda out of my league and was in an on and off relationship. So we got to be good friends and soon I told her that I was quiting. This really upset her and she told me she was afraid she would never see me again. So I asked her out to movie. I was nervous as hell before I picked her up. I thought to myself Are we going to keep conversation outside the workplace? Things went great we kept awesome conversations and made each other laugh, and there was even some flirting between us. After that night I fell head over heels for her, I felt so alive for the first time in a long time, I was in love. So almost every week, for the next 2 and 1/2 months we would make a day for just us two, to just hang out and have fun. It was awesome but I was afraid I was only going to be a friend.

So 2 and 1/2 months after we first met I was still waiting to make a move or tell her how I felt about her. I'd also lost over 20 Ibs and was looking and feeling great. One night we were chilling at my house and we began flirting with each other, ( cuddling, holding hands, and lots of eye contact.) I kissed her on the nose and then we finally made out. I told her she was so beautiful and that I loved her. She said she was sorry and that she still loved Eric (her on and off again boyfriend of 2 years) and we could only be friends. I took her home telling her it was alright. It wasnt, we have'nt hung out in 3 or 4 weeks and I find myself so sad all the time, with very little energy. Ive gained weight again and am afraid to ask her to do anything. I still like her but I know its hopeless. It sucks cause Im afraid ill never find another girl that will make me feel like she did. Should I just give up or should I still pursue her? Does anyone ever feel that they will never find that special someone to be with, especially in boring small city surrounded by nothing, or is it just me.

I later called her and asked if it was me and she promised it wasnt. She said shes been with eric so long that she cant see it any other way. I know she really liked me to. She always wanted to be with me and cuddle and stuff. But after that episode I think shes just decided to give me the could shoulder, so It doesnt go any further. Im so mad, sad, and confused!

I posted this to just vent myself abit, its been hard because Ive got nobody to really talk to about all of this. I have very few friends (none of which are girls) anymore since most have gone off to universities and stuff. And now that I think Rachel's gone Ive lost another friend and all that hope that I could someday be with her.

[miSSleepy]

Difficult situations, but to answer one of your questions: yes, you will feel like that with other girls.
Right now you should probably just try to be a friend to her. If this bf is on and off, he may not be around for ever, and what's wrong with being just friends?
On the other hand, if she still gives you the cold shoulder, don't push her.

[Unsure001]

Trust what you feel inside bro, in my opinion and from experience she might not be the one...at least the one for you. I don't think it really matters if your in the "friend" zone because it will happen regardless...just be yourself, that will attract the right one hopefully. I honestly don't think that any one action or word can turn you into a friend, if the qualities you have are appealing enough for a girl, she'll be all yours...but if there ever is another guy in the picture, it'll only hurt you more. That doesn't mean that you can't be her friend though, but sometimes, I know, it hurts more knowing and being around them. Good luck!

[Lance Taylor]

A little different advice... I agree that love can come out of friendships but the majority of the time it doesnt. And when you really want to be with someone, you want to go with the odds.

You handled your advances entirely wrong the first time around (obviously b/c she rejected you). And now you are looked at as the friend that tried to hit on her. Once you are looked at as a friend, you cant automatically try to advance the relationship to more than friends. Ive heard countless girls say it was gross when their friend tried to kiss them, b/c it was like their brother trying to kiss them. You need two things for a successful relationship, attraction and connection. It sounds like you had the connection part but chose not to build the attraction part. And unfortunately, girls will normally make decisions based on attraction. Yeah, they may say they want a nice guy that they can talk to, but they will end up going for the guy that they are attracted to. So if you have any chance with her you have to start over and rebuild yourself as an attractive guy in her eyes.

By attraction, I dont mean just physical appearance. Sure, that is part of it, but not the most important thing. Girls are attracted to much more than physical appearance. They are attracted to guys with high value. There are several ways for you to show her that you have high value. A few are: dont be needy (i.e. dont tell her you love her, and ask if theres something wrong with you), be scarce (dont sit by your phone waiting for her to call, go out and have fun and turn her down sometimes), date other girls (girls recognize when a guy has options), be a fun guy to hang around (not a guy that makes her have uncomfortable conversations).

Hope this helps! and Good luck!

[Gigabitch]

I agree with Lance, you tried to make a play from the friend zone. This is why you NEVER become friends with a girl, hoping for more. I see people advise that sometimes, "Just be her friend and maybe her feelings will grow..." NO. That is crap advice.

The next girl you like (because it's just not going to happen with this one) should be approached differently. Confidently. With purpose. I know this sounds impossible, especially from the down-in-the-dumps place you're in right now, but it's what works.

Get your sad butt to the gym. You're on a downward spiral. Try to turn it around.