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Thread: dating a shy guy [advice pleaseee]

  1. #1
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    dating a shy guy [advice pleaseee]

    ok so im dating a shy guy...a really shy guy. i think ive come to realize that i will most likely have the make all the first moves (i was the one who told him i liked him first and then he asked me out on a date). were both pretty inexperienced except im more outgoing than he is (im still pretty shy).

    we had our first official date the other day and it was nice and fun yet he tried absolutely nothing with me. at the movies, i tried and put myself out there and laid my head on his shoulder and he kinda did nothing. i mean, were not uncomfortable when were in each otherse personal space but he doesnt do anything about it.

    its weird cuz he tells me things like im really smart and that he enjoys spending time with me and he told me he likes me but he makes it hard to believe sometimes! hes so sweet and cute in texting and whatnot but in person its a completely diff story!

    how do i handle dating a shy guy? im really open and i like to talk about things...should i talk to him about this? about us? about how i can make him more comfortable, or is that something that shudnt be said...because i want to make him more comfortable so that he can make some first moves and not always me!

    im surprising him with a picnic date in two days at the park. do u think that is a good time to talk? i dont wanna rush and make him uncomfortable but i do just want us to be able to communicate and whatnot.

  2. #2
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    Quote Originally Posted by confuzzled12 View Post
    ok so im dating a shy guy...a really shy guy. i think ive come to realize that i will most likely have the make all the first moves (i was the one who told him i liked him first and then he asked me out on a date). were both pretty inexperienced except im more outgoing than he is (im still pretty shy).

    we had our first official date the other day and it was nice and fun yet he tried absolutely nothing with me. at the movies, i tried and put myself out there and laid my head on his shoulder and he kinda did nothing. i mean, were not uncomfortable when were in each otherse personal space but he doesnt do anything about it.

    its weird cuz he tells me things like im really smart and that he enjoys spending time with me and he told me he likes me but he makes it hard to believe sometimes! hes so sweet and cute in texting and whatnot but in person its a completely diff story!

    how do i handle dating a shy guy? im really open and i like to talk about things...should i talk to him about this? about us? about how i can make him more comfortable, or is that something that shudnt be said...because i want to make him more comfortable so that he can make some first moves and not always me!

    im surprising him with a picnic date in two days at the park. do u think that is a good time to talk? i dont wanna rush and make him uncomfortable but i do just want us to be able to communicate and whatnot.
    Communication, communication, communication...tell him how you feel about his shyness, get him to open up a little bit...Who knows it may surprise you with the results.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  3. #3
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    give it time. if you "talk about it" or try to get him to do things he doesn't feel like he's ready for, he'll close up even more.

    let him come out in his own time.

  4. #4
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    There's only one person that can really change his shyness...himself. He just needs time to open up. Don't push him because it may feel like he's doing something wrong.

  5. #5
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    What is it you want? To be kissed? Tell him!

    You already know what kind of guy he is. If you don't like the fact that you will probably have to always be the one pushing it to the next level, get out now, and find someone who is more to your taste. Don't nag him. He won't change.
    Relax... I'll need some information first. Just the basic facts - can you show me where it hurts?

  6. #6
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    i tihnk im just worried cuz everyones been like "actions speak louder than words" and have been telling me that if he really likes me he would be more comfortable and try stuff (small stuff like holding hands and whatnot). im just scared that maybe im being flung around? i dont know what hes thinking about all this. well he told me that before we confessed that he liked each other he was kinda freaked out cuz hes never reciprocated that he liked someone before.

  7. #7
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    Maybe he is just socially retarded.

    Honestly, if it becomes too much effort, I'd rethink this if I were you. There are plenty of fish in the sea. Course, you should let him know what's on your mind first. he is young and still learning about relationships, too.
    Last edited by vashti; 28-03-08 at 09:23 PM.
    Relax... I'll need some information first. Just the basic facts - can you show me where it hurts?

  8. #8
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    use your instincts. if someone is shy, you get a different energy from someone who shy than from someone who is indifferent

  9. #9
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    i am a very shy person my self who had the same problem. If you really care for this person you need to take time dont rush in let that person warm up to you make them feel good about themself by complamenting them and encouraging them they eventualy will open up. it worked on me good luck.

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