Coming out of the Closet?

[Initials]

Blah, I hate mentioning this, but this is really important to me, and I need advice.

And, yeah, this probably isn't the best place to ask about something like this, but... I tried a place devoted to giving advice for coming out of the closet, and they promptly banned me. I guess the LGBT community doesn't look kindly upon zoophiles like me.

Anyway, I had planned never to come out, since I don't want my family estranged, or anything like that, but... A couple of events recently made me question that.

One was being able to justify it to other people. That made me realize: No, I'm not wrong. I'm not just missing some huge piece of evidence or something. The other though, is much stronger. A couple of friends I know got into a discussion about stories they've heard or whatever. Basically, comments like: "You have to feel bad. Imagine how ugly a person would have to resort to that", and "Wow, that's just sick. Who would do that?".

Which is horrible in itself, especially since I was right there and couldn't say anything about it. Then my brother said something like that, which was... Just awful. Like a knife in the heart.

It's depressing. I want to be able to say something to them. Explain it to them. But I don't know how they'd take it. Stuff like homosexuality is already out in the open in our society, and moving towards acceptance, so I think it would be so much easier if I was gay. At least I'd know what they'd think. But with zoophilia?

I just don't know what to do or what to think. I need some advice but I seem unable to get any. You guys are the only ones I can talk honestly to about this at this point, so I hope you don't mind me asking you.

Blah. I feel kinda miserable.

[vashti]

This should make you feel better... just think ! You could be THIS guy:

[url]http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/33621048/ns/us_news-weird_news/[/url]

[Petit Papillon]

Honestly... You do have a problem. Maybe it's a knife in Your heart but it is sick and it's not normal. You should get some help... Maybe some kind of psychotherapy would help You?

I consider every kind of sexual activity where second part can't refuse is sick.Sorry but for me the thing You do,comes in one bag with necrophilia,pedophilia etc... Really, get some help, maybe it's just temporary...

[Initials]

Meh, I've heard that before. I already argued with the 'they can't consent' thing here. Here's the topic:

[url]http://www.loveforum.net/ask-male-forum/35084-im-sure-you-get-asked-question-lot.html[/url]

I'm not arguing it in another topic. That's not the point, plus, that topic has quite a bit of information that should be enough to answer your questions. If you still don't believe so, I'd consider discussing it in private messages. Not here.

About therapy, there's no point. Therapists have noted: the success rate for "curing" zoophilia is about the same as "curing" homosexuality. Even if they could "cure" it, I wouldn't want them to. Again, that topic I linked you to.

[Petit Papillon]

So what do You want from us... To say it's ok, send You some adresses where You can get animals to sex them? I don't understand...

I told You what to do. If You go out with it your life is going to become a hell. People won't just laugh at You,they will be disgusted with You. The only thing You can do is to try to hide it deep in Your mind somewhere.Seriously...

[CocoChanel]

I'm confused too. I don't understand what you want us to say.

[Aeradalia]

Initials... it's not as uncommon as you think... but this is a forum for the more 'normal' forms of attraction, particularly within only one species.

I would suggest looking for forums that pertain more to paraphilias (which is what zoophilia is). There's bound to be other people like yourself who are looking for support and answers.

It's good that you want help... but this isn't the right kind of forum, since few people here (if any) can relate to you... and none are trained to help in something quite like this.

[Initials]

I didn't really specify because I don't care what kind of advice I get. Maybe someone has an idea for how to introduce the topic. Maybe you think I should kill my emotions and hide it. Maybe some of you are mothers, and could tell me what you'd think if your kid told you something like this. Maybe some of you have brothers, and say what you'd think if they told you this. What approach might work. I don't know, there's lots of stuff that could be said.

Long story short, advice from similar people might help (although I looked and had trouble finding somewhere that fit the bill), but advice from normal people is useful too.

I know this forum is for normal relationships. Still, I asked if I should stay here, after you guys knew about this, and I was told yes. If I'm going to be here, I think I should be able to ask questions of you.

And hey, this might be a stretch, but this is LoveForum right? For relationship advice. I love my family, and this is an issue that affects my relationship with them. Think of it in that light.

[Aeradalia]

Initials... if a relative of mine said they had zoophilia I would look up everything I could find on the internet about it. Find some forums for them so they can have other people to talk to about it. I would also call the local mental health clinic and ask them if they can find a specialist through their channels who could help.

You will need to undergo methods of learning how to regulate your thoughts, control your impulses, and have a support group to back you every step of the way. I do not believe you can find all of that here in this particular forum.

[Initials]

I know that there are places I can get advice from people similar to me.

But, I also need advice from people who aren't similar to me.

Even now, you're helping me. Your showing me your perception of the issue. I can't get that with people who are familiar with it. I don't expect to find everything I need here, but, so far, I've seen a bit of what I need to know.

You might not think it, but you have advice that helps, even if not in the way you intend it to.

[Aeradalia]

I'm more open-minded than most about such things. For one, I grew up with a boy who was schizophrenic so I'm a little sympathetic and more understanding of such things. However, I will tell you this, most people will not understand you and will not even want to try.

Most will assume that this can be easily solved through telling you to just stop, which really doesn't help. Others will think you are 100% damaged goods, even though you're probably a relatively 'normal' person in everything else -- just not this.

However, remember in the US such interactions with animals is illegal. So for your own safety, it is highly recommended you seek help.

As for telling your family... I would consult a psychiatrist or another zoophile undergoing treatment first and ask them their opinion of the situation. It may be possible to be treated without needing to be publicly known by friends and family. Minimizing the effects of this would probably be best.

About the most that this forum can do is persuade you to find help in other places and maybe hear that you're doing well in your treatments at a later date.

[CocoChanel]

I'm wondering if you want help having your family accept that this is who you are and what you want to be or if you want help with your condition. Do you see zoophilia as a mental illness?

[Initials]

Ok, thank you very much CocoChanel, you just put into words has bugged me about the responses so far.

I do not consider it a mental illness. I consider it an orientation. The research I have read seems to agree with me.

If you have any ideas that might help them accept it, that would be awesome. Ultimately though, the ball is in their court on whether or not to accept it, and I know that. Still though, that doesn't mean there's nothing I can do to help it.

You guys might not think the conversation has been very helpful so far, but it has. I never really considered the possibility that people would consider it a mental problem. Having talked to you, I know that might be something I may have to deal with.

This topic hasn't turned out like I expected, but it hasn't turned out badly. I know more at this point than I did at the beginning, and I consider that a success (not to say we can't continue, there might be more gold in this mine).

[vashti]

Do you also consider pedophilia an "orientation"?

I have to be honest... if my son had this issue, I would hope to die never knowing about it.

[Initials]

I don't really know anything about pedophilia. I haven't enough research to make a decision on whether or not it is an orientation, nor do I have any prior experience with it (thank goodness).

I don't see the problem however, with claiming something to be both an orientation and immoral at the same time. Pedophilia may or may not be an orientation, but that has no impact on the morality of it. It is immoral regardless.

On the same token, I've never equated zoophilia being an orientation with zoophilia being moral. I've always considered the two arguments separately.

Thank you for your honest response. Again, helpful.