she has a wall up

[giovanni75]

ok im a newbie here.,.,.,
heres my dilemma, im currently married for 4 years and me and my wife are seperating but i have been talking to a current ex girlfriend from like 9 years ago ..we became friends on facebook recently and we just started talking /////
my age is 35 and she is 33...but as we are talking well actually texting alot and we pretty much know a good bit about each other...
me and my wife are seperating casue we feel we got married for the wrong reasons and also i found out that she has or is still cheating on me..she does not know that i know casue i read her emails where her and her lover were meeting up and having sexual meetings...well my friend knows of my situation and she is also going through a rough break up like me...but not as bad..
my friend has been through alot with ex boyfriends and has put up this emotional wall ...what do i do to let her wall down alittle bit for me.,.,,.,.im not going to rush this casue i really care for her and sad to say the whole time i was married , every once and awhile i would think of her...

what do i do,,,please help

[MaidenMinx]

Firstly, you should focus on getting things sorted out with your wife. I'm not suggesting you get back together with her necessarily but that you at least get things finalised before you start worrying about someone else opening up to you.

[Cerby]

emotional walls are really tough, I've dated someone with one and it ended badly because she just wasn't willing to open up to me. After several months her lack of caring (at least outward lack of caring) finally got to me and I ended it.

Honestly, i think if a wall is in place, you should avoid a relationship until she sorts herself out, that wall is there to protect herself, which means she isn't ready for anything right now.

[giovanni75]

well her and i broke up casue we had a mutual friend and if that person found out that we were seein each other they would of been upset..
and for her wall situation, she has been through some really hard relatioships with guys that treated her like crap and i think that is why..

[IncognitoSir]

emotional walls are really tough, I've dated someone with one and it ended badly because she just wasn't willing to open up to me. After several months her lack of caring (at least outward lack of caring) finally got to me and I ended it.

Honestly, i think if a wall is in place, you should avoid a relationship until she sorts herself out, that wall is there to protect herself, which means she isn't ready for anything right now.

well her and i broke up casue we had a mutual friend and if that person found out that we were seein each other they would of been upset..
and for her wall situation, she has been through some really hard relatioships with guys that treated her like crap and i think that is why..

Pay attention guy. Cerby is giving you great advice here. You have a problem, she has a problem. You both need to find solutions to the problems at hand before you can move forward with each other. Think about it, you're reaching for her, but you have some serious shit you need to tend to (cheating wife who needs to be divorced). She has serious trust issues with men. think of the years it took her to build up this wall of protection against men, it's unlikely that this wall will be coming down anytime soon which gives you plenty of time to sort out yourself. First things first.

[giovanni75]

ok thanks i will try and keep my options up adn open