Could I just be a rebound?

[theguy]

I met this girl, the both of us broke up around the same time from 3 year relationships(beginning of july) and we met about 2 months later. We have been together for 3 months now, and appear to be really into each other. We had the i love you talk a few days ago where we both decided we felt mutual, we are both 22 years old. I really feel strongly for this girl, and as far as I can tell she always feels exactly the same way. She is defintley not the rebound for me, but is it different for girls, I dont want to be someone to just fill the void. She tells me all the time how important I am to her, never mentions her ex, doesnt have his number, never talks to him. hmmm..... I guess after being cheated on for the first time I just feel very insecure about trusting the way someone else feels, or maybe not, i dont know.... any advice?

[Indignant]

you never know what you get in life or how it's going to end up being. just flow with it, keep being positive as much as can in all aspects in life. there might be many others before you find the ONE. Live it to the fullest and make each other happy.

[Gigabitch]

The odds are good that you're a rebound and so is she, but who cares about the odds? Go with your heart.

[Lite]

I guess after being cheated on for the first time I just feel very insecure about trusting the way someone else feels, or maybe not, i dont know.... any advice?

I'll start with the basic advice I gave my fiance about having cold feet. "At some point you simply need to have some faith and belief that the other person will do right by you."

You could very well be a rebound, and you know what, you're young. If it turns out to be that, then OK you go on. If it doesn't turn out to be that, then OK you go on. Grand scheme of things either it will work out because you both put in the effort and trust necessary to have a successful relationship, or you don't and make excuses. Pretty much what you're stating is that you're feeling insecure, and are looking for reassurance. You've stated nothing that leads you to have a logical reason to distrust her feelings or her faithfulness. Which means that it is basically all in your head for now, and it's something you need to work out. Unfortunately you jumped right into another relationship before actually taking the time and effort to fix you, and are now dragging that baggage along into the relationship. If it hasn't started cropping up now in your behavior patterns, it will soon, and she will notice.

Best to figure out how to deal with this ASAP for your own sake, and not the sake of the relationship.

Either you have trust and faith, or you don't. If you're dating someone who is untrustworthy, it's still your fault for not ending it cleanly and saving yourself the pain of it being drug out long-term.