distance relationship

[hope1244]

Hi there, wondering if you could give me some advice!
4 years ago I met up with my first love from when I was 17 (in my 40's now), someone who i'd searched for allmy married life. I felt like I'd waited 25years for him to come back. We met on line as he now lives overseas! We managed to meet briefly while we were both in the uk ( I too live now abroad) and bingo it was as it was before, I was home. We'd both waited for this moment. Only problem is he's now married with 2 children. I'm happily divorced with 2 teens. We love each other dearly, but can only see each other 1 week a year, the rest of the time on chat. His children are young and he doesn.t want to leave yet as his wife knows I was briefly back in his life and would take the children from him ( she has proof of emails she found from me). He wants to wait until his bous are older to understand why Dad wants to leave his wife. Hos marriage - he doesn't like his wife, doesn't love her,they work as a team for their children, but apart from that nothing.
So my question is stay or go? When we're together it feels so right- chemistry, love, great friends, etc, though I think my values have changed, I've become so much more spiritual, where he isn't ( though respects me for my beliefs), i've always had a dream for my career but which wouldn't work with him- I want to set up a B and B in France, he doesn't want to live there etc. I don't want to move to Canada but he may end up moving back to the uk who knows. Somy relationship is full of love at a distance with no definite end, allup to fate, just not sure I can wit another 4 years before I am spending my life with the one I love? Any advice, thanks!

[Fruitsss]

I think u r a very self fish person. And i dont know why u call the fact that he is married a problem!
\cause its not. He is doing his life married , just like u did before u got divorced.
Only problem i see is u disrespecting him, his marriage and his wife and kids.

Not cause your marriage didnt work u have too go search true the Internet too see
whos marriage u can sabotage.
Once u knew he is married u should have back off!!!
Instead of keep sending email.

And u can never win from a wife. Cause he married her for a reason and still with her for a reason!
If u where that important for him or he was that important for u , u both
would have been a family years ago.
So i just think u r now bitter and lonely and look for old bf too hook up with!

That he doesnt love his wife and they have a lot of issues and stays together for the kids is such a old story
that most men that cheat use too get sluts.

I would say focus on your self esteem and your kids and get yourself whatever single men that
r walking out there.
U know how a divorce feels and have seen your kids suffer and im shore they still.
So why do u want too be part of making others divorce cause of u?

[geminimoongal]

Fruitsss it seems it is you with the problem. You sound very bitter and what you say is nasty. You have no idea about relationships nor feelings. It is obvious you are a woman scorned. You should seek help to feel better within yourself and then you might feel compassion for others. The way you feel about yourself right now you have no right to give advice. So don't............

[smackie9]

There is no compassion for those who are willing to destroy someone else's marriage for your own desires. You have put him in a compromising situation, hurting the woman he married and the children they are raising. Yes he is at fault, but I sense he is lying to you. Guys will do and say whatever it takes to get with a woman. I doubt very highly he doesn't love his wife....if that were true (kids or not) he wouldn't have married her or had children with her. His emotions are in limbo because he is strained at the reality that married life is not easy when you have responsibilities of raising children. We all know the structure of a relationship changes with having children. You should know this...you are divorced. He struggles with this life because the focus in on the kids and not on their relationship, so he is using you as an escape. You may play it up as a forever to be romance, a match made in heaven, it is what it is...an ugly affair. The damage that it's causing is going to bite you in the ass as it is starting now....he refuses to leave his wife. He may have a game plan but in reality he is just going to keep making excuses as to why he has to stay with her. Reality check...they always go back to their wife. When people are infatuated, they will say all kinds of things, feel it is forever, making of promises, clouding the reality of how wrong this is. It's just talk hun, and it should never be taken as a promise... when it all wears off, that lump of gold turns into a turd.

[smackie9]

This is the reality of LDR's...they don't work, especially with all that is against you....time to wake up, and see that you are wasting your time. Move on, date locally.

[smackie9]

I agree with fruitssss, there is nothing bitter about it...it's the truth. (except for the slut part)

[basilandthyme]

Hope, you're living in dreamland.