Long Read. Advice? Anything?

[Darkest Heaven]

Alright. Make it as rough as you want, but just be honest and useful. If your gonna tell me I'm an idiot, do it in a way so I can understand and think about what you said, not just to insult me.

She's 20, I'm one year younger.

Okay, I'm the type of person that has something to say to everybody, and nobody has to say anything back just because of the time and effort I put into researching the most basic things and coming up with my own theories.

Rewind last night. Dating website (I know). After an email or two I exchanged numbers with her. Being that I prefer in person over online, and phone over online, and she felt the same way, I was taken back. We talked on the phone... and for once, I didn't know what to do with her.

Honestly, she reminds me of... me. And it's not in a bad way, it's just in a way that "she knows her shit, I can't tell her anything she doesn't already understand". I realized that sometimes people feel this way when talking to me. It's very attractive to me that she's not some dumb college girl getting stoned and blazed every night, and that she actually has her own brains and opinions on stuff.

We are planning to hang out tonight. I really don't know what this whole thread is about. I would say it's about how to talk to her because I don't want to be just another person who doesn't know what to do with her, but that's not really a valid question.... because I know the answer, and that's be myself.


I guess what I'm trying to figure out is if this girl is really something different, or just another mind game playing bitch in sheep's clothing. And if she is real.... we are 2 hours apart, she can make it once a week, and vice versa. Seeing each other every day is impossible, and twice a week is going to be hard if we go through with this.


I'm done typing, just say something, because for once, I'm really confused. And what's worse, I think it's a good thing, because I can learn a lot here, I just need to take in the good with the bad.

[Gigabitch]

Really- this is your first time facing a girl you couldn't run right over?

[Darkest Heaven]

If you want to put it that way, yes.

And, it's very rewarding to finally find one like such, because that's what I've been looking for. Apparently, I'm not too bad either, as she does like me, so she says.

[Gigabitch]

Hmmmm. You remind me of a friend of mine, actually. He tends to get shredded occasionally, and usually it's his own damned fault.

Be careful. You seem to be very black-or-white in your judgments of women. She's probably not as much like you as you think. Make sure you pay attention for red flags and such.

Oh, and give the rest of the girls a break. I find it hard to believe you've never met anyone worthy in nineteen years.

[Darkest Heaven]

View my entire post history, namely my ex fiancee that I controlled. That was my bad, yeah, but I'm happy it's over and done with. Me being able to do that means I can easily take advantage of the weak, which is good if I'm applying for a good job and the boss is an idiot that hires anybody, too bad it doesn't help with relationships. I break the broken, A+ on that (sarcasm)


But back to this girl. I matched up her dating profile with her psychology test the site offers, and so far it all matches up. Either she's good at whatever she's trying to do, or she's her.

She had 3 relationships, all in which she has gotten cheated on, that's what she tells me anyways. Used to pay for her ex's stuff, etc etc, then got cheated on.


I see in her a fire (cheesy line number one), I just don't know if it's the fire to keep fighting, or a fire to push herself away from everybody so much that nothing will effect her.


The reason I say this is because she goes with the whole "if it works, great, if not, oh well, another one". Thing is though, I think like that too sometimes, but with me it actually hurts sometimes when it doesn't work out. I don't feel like being just another "oh well", but at the same time I see something in her that won't let me tell her to go to hell like I've done with so many others.


And after typing all of the above, I suppose this is what they call infatuation.

[Gigabitch]

Oh, Jeeze Louise. I just went through your post history. I remember you. For some reason I actually like you, even though you are a certifiable nut job.

Okay, what I have to say is this: calm down. Just simmah. You get yourself WAY too worked up about just about everything.

She's just a girl. It's just a date. You're gonna be fine.

[Darkest Heaven]

You like me because I do my own thing, as "wrong" or "crazy" as it may be in the eyes of others. Not many people do that, they get molded into something that everybody accepts, and by the time they realize it, it's too late. Anyways.


I can't exactly stop worrying. It's basically: it will either happen and go well, or it won't, and I'm fully aware of how both scenarios can happen. It's just that.... **** if I know. *shrug*

It's almost time for her to call (she said 7), oy vey, need an icepack, pronto.

[Darkest Heaven]

No doubt, she is nothing like me. She didn't call.

Females oh females, how your lies I hate so.
Can't find a decent one, just blond bimbos and hos.
One day I will find you, but until that day.
Every other female will pay.
Pay for the sins committed against me.
And then those bitches will see.
See that they should pray to God or anything else that's above.
Because vengeance, is my love.


Now I need two ice packs, a Micheal Myers mask, and a very big knife.

[Gigabitch]

Oh, for ****'s sake. You need a Midol and a nap.

Hey, why don't you lay off the dating websites and, you know, go outside?

[Darkest Heaven]

Okay, I'm wrong again.

She called, got off work late, is coming now.


Um.... I'll post here later. All I can say for right now is I'm off my game, and it's scaring me. So, here's another poem.


She's coming over, yahoo, yahoo, yahoo.
No not the website.... the relationship will end like poo.
I can't think right now, but writing this I am.
No Gigabitch, do not eat my eggs and ham.

[IndiReloaded]

Doing psych tests on someone? That you met on an internet dating site? Using a cheezy online test?

Don't ppl just meet and hang out and just TALK to each other anymore? Without an agenda? Figure out a way to relax, man. You overanalyze stuff waay to much. And coming from me, that's a bit frightening.

[IndiReloaded]

Okay, I'm wrong again.

She called, got off work late, is coming now.


Um.... I'll post here later. All I can say for right now is I'm off my game, and it's scaring me. So, here's another poem.

Be sure to put away the mask and big knife, then, Scary Person.

[Darkest Heaven]

First off, the little test is just a feature the site has. It's optional to take it, and then optional to put the results up for people to look so should they choose.

Second off, I'm glad I didn't put the mask on.....


She came over, got out of the car, came in, and basically, we jumped on the king size bed in my room and talked. Conversation about this, that, everything that matters, everything that doesn't, everything that doesn't exist. Honestley, out of all the females that got out of the car and jumped on the bed, I actually talked to this one. Usually, it's hi, straight into cuddling and making out for no good reason. This one though, we talked, we cuddled, we talked while cuddling.


She's gotta be up at 6:30 for work, hour and a half drive home for her, she walked out of here at 12:45. She actually left at 1. We stayed outside for a bit, and when she got in the car, she wouldn't let me go, and I wouldn't let her.


Then she left, and Thursday, we have the whole day together. And for ONCE, the very first time in my 6 year career of looking for love, I didn't "dump" her because she couldn't be here everyday. She taught me that positive thinking isn't just for me to say that "I positivley hate it", but it's there to focus on good, even when there's so little. That, or it's maybe something I knew all along and had to be reminded. You decide.


Is this my happy ending? I'll give the answer that I usually get, and upon receving it to tell the person they are worthless. That answer is I don't know. For once, I can't say yes or no. For once, I can't pull the trigger to get rid of the ****er across from me trying to take my money. For once, I'm tied up. All I can do is wait.


All along I thought hope was pointless and a memory of it was all I needed. And all along, I thought right.

And no, this isn't an "in the moment" thing. I write, plan on writing a book about the lifestyle I'm currently leading, and my quest for love. This is the type of stuff I write, though I go even more in depth, and try to cover every type of person I've met, and every contradiction I may have. So, think what you will, reply what you must, but as of now I'm logging off here for some Xbox time. And I'll be sure to keep posting updates here as things progress... or go backwards. I'm sure at least one person here is interested in wh

[IndiReloaded]

I don't know, after reading that, that you actually have an issue. With her, anyway. But you do seem keen to create one, or at least set the stage for it.

You hardly know this gal. Sounds like you had a decent time. This is good, right? You seem to be the sort who leaves his emotional guns at half-cocked, ready to blow your own foot off. What Giga said already about you primed for shredding. Got Xanax? It might help...

[Darkest Heaven]

The gun is ready to blow anybody that messes with my emotions up. And if must be, I'll take down myself while I'm at it. At least then I can see it coming.