Hi all, I have just registered on this forum although I have been reading it for a few months now..
I finally had the courage to speak out about my current situation.
I have been married now for 4 years to this man who was born in africa.
We firt started dating in 2000, after 4 months dating we decided to marry because he discovered the awful truth that he was not accepted as an american citizen so I accepted to marry him to give him citizenship and because we were so in love.
The government has been giving us alot of trouble, delaying everything, we finally got word 6 months ago that he would be accepted as a citizen if I were to be financially responsible of him for 3 years. I was like FINNALLY.
The whole thing was suppose to last only 3 months, it lasted 3 years till we got an answer..
All the while my husband has changed drastically over the past 2 years, having on and off jobs, never paying rent, nor bills, he claimed he was making too little money to help me.
Over the past year, things have been getting very bad.
He didn't pay a single cent for anything. (litteraly!)
He has been sleeping at our house on and off, maybe 4 times a week, and when he gets up in the morning he leaves right after, saying he is going to the gym.
Anyway, I basically dont consider him my husband anymore.
I was raised in a family where my parents love themselves so much, theyre like siamese, theyre still married after 35 years, my mother has always been the one working, and my father taking care of the kids.
My husband though is a complete jerk, I even found like 30 girls numbers in his cell phone, I have called a few and they all claimed to have met in different places and they gave him their number.
I know he is cheating on me..
The reason why I cant leave him is because I am scared that I will have to move out, leave him to pay the rent here, alone, or if he leaves also, the landlord will be so mad, etc..
I will have bad references for future appartment landlords and so on, there is also the divorce situation, I cant divorce until he is oficially a citizen because since I am responsible of him he will be rejected and return to his country because of me and that will be unbearable.
I am scared also that I will have to face the world as an independant person..
However I have been living quite alone these past years.
We are intimate once every 6 months. I'm 27 and have the feeling I am wasting my life.
I was without a job for the past 4 months and thank God I have found a job and I will be starting this week..
I lack self respect and maybe courage, I dont blame him for his constant verbal abuse, It is my own fault if all this happened..
I want you guys advice on this situation, maybe some words of encouragement, I fell I live in a cage and cant get out.
I hate my life right now, and I'm just surviving, I am totally depressed and scared.
thanks for reading the story of my pitiful life..