Hi guys... really need some help, what happens if he likes another girl..

[nancyanne]

Hey,

First of all I need to say that my boyfriend has been pretty good to me. He's not perfect but he's let me know he is serious about the relationship and he's even taken me overseas to meet his parents. We've been going out for about 8 months.

He often makes jokes however that he would like to have a "second girlfriend", and that I can be no 1 but he wants no 2, 3 etc etc. Whenever I challenge him about this he would tell me it's just a joke etc etc.

Only last weekend we had a bit of a fight and I asked him if he wanted to break up and he said he didn't, and that he really liked me.

I also know he hasn't cheated on me because pretty much whenever he is free, we are together. I see him almost every day including last night where he acted very normal and affectionate. Also these meetings are initiated by him and not by me, he actually has to come to my house, pick me up and drive to his place. Also I don't think its about sex, because he knows I'm on my period currently so we can't. All we did was play games and chat/cuddle together.

However this morning after he went to work, I logged onto his computer - hey guys, he doesn't have a password or anything. I start work later than him, all I wanted to do was check my email. However I did get curious and just had a peek at his history. Other than all the usual stuff - FB, porn etc, my heart stopped when I saw he had done the following searches on Google:

1. I have a girlfriend but I like another girl, what should I do
2. I have a girlfriend but I like someone else

or soemthing along those lines. He read the responses too.

Following that he made a few more searches such as:

1. How to tell if a girl likes me

etc ec

I'm devasted. I've told him before that if he like someone else he needs to tell me, and it's a sign of respect for the other girl too. However I guess in this case he is not sure if that other girl likes him and he's just keeping me there as a back up? Or is it like he really says that he would like to have 2 gfs at the same time?

I can't take something like that obviously and I have a lot of pride. I want to confront him about it but he has a short fuse and I think he would blow up over the fact that I looked at his history... I also think his response would be to tell me that I'm being crazy/paranoid and to stop being ridiculous. He will tell me he hasn't actually done anything, which I know is true.

I like him a lot but I think I am strong enough to break up with him if I need to although it will hurt like hell.

I just want you boys (or girls if you're here) to tell me... am I right to break up with him over something like this? It's not just some "guy thing"???

I also don't know how to go about doing this... I am actually thinking of ignoring him for a few days and seeing if he cools off on his own or if he keeps chasing, then confront him.

Please help! Thanks.

[VincenzoG91]

Odd. If he was going to cheat on you, I would expect him to be more sneaky about it, and not joking with you about it. Is it possible that he is hoping for a threesome? That's a major fantasy for a lot of guys, but they don't realize that it can really de-stabilize a serious relationship.

[geminigirl1234]

I wrote a messege to another girl that posted on here.
I recommend you read the book "why men love bitches" its only 20$ in chapters.
Its an eye opening book about what MEN REALLY WANT IN A RELATIONSHIP AND IN A WOMAN. However, most guys never tell this stuff to their girls.

Anywyas, about your specific situation. Men and people in general tend to take things for granted if it is given to them too easily. You mentioned that you guys spend almost every day together. Men love women who they see as rare and expensive, meaning you are not available to see him all the time. When a man sees you as rare and expensive, and you capture his heart, there is really nothing (no other girl), work, etc will make him go away from you/pull away from you.

I think what is happening in your sitautation is that the guy is probably taking you for granted, and because men love to "chase" and are intrigued by what they dont know. In other words, they love mystery.
The key to keeping a guy comitted to you is never letting him think he can have all of you, whenever he wants.
The solution:
Distance yourself from him for about a week or so (get busy with school, work, friends) He will notice this, and inevitably, he will start to put more value on you, (now you will be the girl he is wondering about/thinking about how to win you over/get you to notice him again- rather than that other girl)

Absence makes the heart grow fonder.

Anywyas, you can also look this question of yours up online- there is a great author called Christian Carter that explains your situation.

Best of luck!

[nancyanne]

Hahaha thanks geminigirl but my bf's ex swears by that book and he broke up with her because he didn't like her anymore and not even realizing how much she liked him (because she kept acting like a bitch), and only realized it after she couldn't stop talking about their (very short) relationship afterwards.

He called up yesterday like nothing was wrong and acted all normal and loving. He wanted to meet up yesterday but I made up an excuse but agreed to meet him today. Like I said he usually initiates the meetings and not me.

I guess I'll ask him about it tonight... (((

[1337lizard]

I don't know what you're questioning, it's very obvious that he likes another girl. The only thing here is what you're going to do about it. Confronting him is a good idea, but beyond that? I would say give him a few days to himself and then tell him that if he missed you and is willing to commit then he had better tell you everything. If he does, then forgive him and try to move on with him. If he doesn't then break up with him, because you need someone that wants to be all yours.

[davidtorres]

how do u know your boyfriend typed that? you do know that google "autofill" the search when you type right???