Am I gay or straight?

[freecandy]

I'm a guy, almost 18. For the most part I have fantasized about women... until about 6 months ago, when I more and more started to fantasize about guys. I have always just assumed I'm straight since I've thought if you are gay you will know about it early and not this late. Because like I said I used to be mainly attracted to women until recentley.

Thing is I could never imagine myself being in an actual relationship with a guy, it would only be well ahem... sex. I just can't see myself falling in love with a guy. Right now it feels like I can be in a relationship with a woman and love her and enjoy everything except... the sex.

I'm hoping this is just a fase and I will start being only attracted to women again. Could it be? Could this pass? Or do I have to accept that I might be gay forever? Even if I am infact gay... idk, maybe it would still be better to be with a woman? Can this attraction to men go away or atleast be supressed to a lower level? I WANT to... well want women and not men.

And please, yes I realise this is very bad... Theres no need to insult me. I can't help it. I'd do anything to not feel this way. Believe me I want to be straight.

[DarkHelmet82]

you sound gay to me, which is fine.

[KingZ]

Ask doppel how to go about solving this problem.

[Franklin]

Are you going to school? If you are then some colleges provide free counseling. You may want to do it.

There is nothing wrong with being gay. You are who you are.

[freecandy]

you sound gay to me, which is fine.

Then I don't know what to do... isn't there therapy available? Cant I change this?.... I think I will just try and forget about this and force myself to like women sexually. and I'm also thinking that there are ways to lower ones libido right? If I did that then I wouldn't really have any desire to have sex with men and since pure relationship wise I'd rather be with a woman it could work.

I want sex with a man... But not a relationship with a man. I want a relationship with a woman, and I think I could still like having sex with a woman too just maybe not as much. I know I still feel some attraction to women. If I had no libido I would not want men at all but still want a woman for a relationship. Does that make sense?

When this first started I thought... ok this will pass and that I would just try and not think about it. But everyday it was the same... And now I just get more depressed every day when I realise it doesn't seem like it will go away.

[freecandy]

Are you going to school? If you are then some colleges provide free counseling. You may want to do it.

There is nothing wrong with being gay. You are who you are.

Im still in highschool. Gonna go to community college next year and become a welder... That's my plan anyway. They likely wont have counselors. I suppose this might be a longshot... But do therapists/counselors who specialise in matters like this exist anywhere?

[HeartIsAching]

Then I don't know what to do... isn't there therapy available? Cant I change this?.... I think I will just try and forget about this and force myself to like women sexually. and I'm also thinking that there are ways to lower ones libido right? If I did that then I wouldn't really have any desire to have sex with men and since pure relationship wise I'd rather be with a woman it could work.

I want sex with a man... But not a relationship with a man. I want a relationship with a woman, and I think I could still like having sex with a woman too just maybe not as much. I know I still feel some attraction to women. If I had no libido I would not want men at all but still want a woman for a relationship. Does that make sense?

When this first started I thought... ok this will pass and that I would just try and not think about it. But everyday it was the same... And now I just get more depressed every day when I realise it doesn't seem like it will go away.

There is no functional therapy available that actually changes your sexual orientation. It's not even considered wrong by the medical community anymore, it just is, like your height, skin color and facial features. In a sufficiently enlightened and tolerant society (which we don't have yet but I like to think we're working on) it should have no more significance than that, and in MY opinion should be NOBODY'S business but yours.

[DannyH]

What about the other option being bisexual? The term exists for a reason. There isn't anything wrong with it either.

[HeartIsAching]

What about the other option being bisexual? The term exists for a reason. There isn't anything wrong with it either.

True.

Unless you listen to a guy I knew a long time ago (in a galaxy far, far away) who said that it sucked. He said "You want to 50% of the good-looking people you meet... imagine wanting to **** 100% of the good looking people you meet... it sucks sometimes."

He was bisexual BTW, and joking.

[freecandy]

What about the other option being bisexual? The term exists for a reason. There isn't anything wrong with it either.

Maybe... That's better than being a homosexual atleast. I'm gonna see if theres a way to completley remove my libido... Then I wouldn't have to think about having sex with guys... or girls either for that matter. And then I could pursue a relationship with a girl without having to be frustrated about being attracted to men.

[DannyH]

True.

Unless you listen to a guy I knew a long time ago (in a galaxy far, far away) who said that it sucked. He said "You want to 50% of the good-looking people you meet... imagine wanting to **** 100% of the good looking people you meet... it sucks sometimes."

He was bisexual BTW, and joking.

Lol it's true thougb I would think when I'm single and looking at women I get distracted enough let alone adding the other half of the world to the mix. I would never get anything done if I was bi rofl

[Superfantastich]

Have you considered the possibilty of just going out and trying both if the opportunity arises?
You arn't even out of school yet and you are already limiting yourself to one possibility, getting married to a woman and living an asexual life pretty much, you seriously do not want that.

[notimportant]

You are still young with being 18 and all. Your sexuality can change even when you are older. You might find yourself being sexually attracted to men now and maybe you will fall in love with a man when you meet the right man. Falling in love is not that easy anyways. You might still like women. You can be bisexual too.

Please know that there is nothing wrong with being gay or bi. when people say that there is a therapy they are lying. Therapy would mean denying who you are and what your needs are. embrace who you are and who you like and you'll find yourself much happier one day than if you would if you were fighting it.

A friend of mine discovered that he is gay at the age of 40 and he is not alone. Many people's sexuality changes when they meet a partner that they love for who they are. Many people are bisexual too.

be honest to yourself is what is most important and don't doubt yourself. do what your heart (or your male brain ) tells you to do and you will be happier when you accept it.

[DarkHelmet82]

there is no such thing as bisexual.. you have sex with a guy and you are a male you are gay. same with women.

[Junket]

You're probably just really horny.