Affair

[illicitromance]

I was wondering if any of you have had an affair?

If so did the affair strengthen your marriage or ruin it?

[CAM]

Never married. Never had an affair. Fornicated, yes. Cheated on a wife or s.o.? NEVER.

[Take2]

How could an affair strengthen a marriage? A marriage might survive an affair, but strengthen? That's like saying a hurricane might strengthen a beach house. An affair is several extreme breaches of the safety and trust a marriage ought to provide. A marriage is strengthened by both parties focuses within the marriage, not by one party wandering off and having sex with someone else.

[xinn1314]

thats so wrong, affairs can lead to more and more affairs.

[bloodtippedrose]

Never cheated and never will, I'm stronger than that -_-

[warriormaiden]

Honestly? Technically? Yes, I have cheated. But I hadn't seen my ex boyfriend in almost two months, he was ignoring my calls and texts and emails, and was also sleeping around. So I thought a few nights with a really good friend of mind wouldn't be so bad.
Did it strengthen our relationship? Did I mention he was an ex?

[Lovable]

Never cheated & would never cheat. If things aren't working out then it's time to "fly" from the relationship.

[ItsShane]

I've cheated on a girl that I was in a serious 4-year relationship with, and felt awful about it for the following 2 years that we stayed together, until we broke up(for other reasons), and I still to this day believe that we'd probably still be together if I hadn't cheated, because after I came clean to her, we were never really the same again.

Cheating is always wrong to do, but more so when you're married. Anyone who cheats on someone they're married with is a sad excuse for a human being

[sunnypatches]

Love the analogy

[leoben]

I know of a marriage where an affair helped. The man wasn't getting some of his needs met, the wife wasn't interested in changing but neither really wanted to break up for different reasons. So he found a girl on the side that provided him what was missing and the marriage has continued on to this day. He came pretty close to filing for divorce before he started cheating so I guess in a way it has strengthened the relationship.

[Lipp]

I know of a marriage where an affair helped. The man wasn't getting some of his needs met, the wife wasn't interested in changing but neither really wanted to break up for different reasons. So he found a girl on the side that provided him what was missing and the marriage has continued on to this day. He came pretty close to filing for divorce before he started cheating so I guess in a way it has strengthened the relationship.

I don't think that 'making it bearable' is quite the same as strengthening it. It's more like avoiding the issue rather than fixing it.

[bartown22]

I'm a cheat, it hasn't strengthened my relationship, its just about killed it!!

[leoben]

I don't think that 'making it bearable' is quite the same as strengthening it. It's more like avoiding the issue rather than fixing it.

Shrug, depends what you are ultimately after I guess. Some issues can't be fixed, and some couples are looking for other things then a strong emotional connection in marriage. My mother got married and came to love the house she was in way more then her partner. Neither ever managed to meet the others emotional needs and my mother embarked on a series of affairs. She had her house and on the side emotional support, the guy had his kids and things generally did seem calmer and more pleasant. Seems like it strengthened their marriage to me.

[leoben]

I will agree though that in the majority of cases, affairs don't help much. Just saying theirs exceptions to the rule.

[blinki]

I know of a marriage where an affair helped. The man wasn't getting some of his needs met, the wife wasn't interested in changing but neither really wanted to break up for different reasons. So he found a girl on the side that provided him what was missing and the marriage has continued on to this day. He came pretty close to filing for divorce before he started cheating so I guess in a way it has strengthened the relationship.

legally, they may be married. but what you just described... to me that isn't a marriage at all. there was no marriage to strengthen. if it's going to be like that, may as well just get a divorce and be best friends or something.