Girlfriend grossed out by semen...

[hockeyguy]

My girlfriend of 3 years recently admitted to being grossed out by semen. I pretty much already knew because she of her reaction to it in the past. In general, she doesn't have a problem with semen being inside her though. However, we've chosen not to have intercourse until we get married. We are both in our early 20s. The only thing she seems to be willing to do is rub me off with my shorts on. Although that's not bad for a change up, it gets old quick. If she's really in the mood, sometimes she will give me a handjob but won't use any kind of lube. And most of the time, that's worse than doing it clothed. I've tried explaining how it doesn't feel good but she doesn't seem to fully get it. I have orgasmed without lube like that before so she thinks it's ok all the time even though I say it's really not. And after a while of me not getting there, she doesn't understand why.

I pretty much will do anything for her. She admits she really enjoys oral sex but says I don't have to do it since she doesn't. The problem is I don't want to not give her oral sex as "punishment" for not doing it for me. She orgasms virtually every time and I try to change it up for her to keep it exciting for her, but she doesn't seem to realize I'm getting bored. I've told her before but nothing seems to change.

Am I being too demanding of her? I'm not asking her to swallow it or anything really gross since I'm not into that anyway. Just a little bit more "TLC" if you know what i mean. I'm getting bored and sexually frustrated here.

I've suggested wearing a condom so she doesn't get anything on her but she's said no to that. I don't know if she just thinks that's weird or just doesn't want to do it. I was kind of annoyed she flat out said no so I just dropped it so we didn't argue.

Please advise... I'm not the kind of guy that thinks sex is everything, but I think a good sex life is an important part of a good relationship... especially at our age.



Any

[---Beany---]

I say no way are you being too demanding.
You're a living creature with natural inborn desires. Your body is designed to want sex. And here you have a partner who is barely willing to give you anything.
And holding out till you're married? I guess each to their own, but out of curiosity is that your idea or hers? If you wear a condom then what does it really matter?

[bluesummer]

You'll just have to be straight with her and tell her that it doesn't feel good the way you're currently doing it. I was giving my first bf dry handjobs for months before he finally told me it wasn't really doing it for him, and I was mortified that he'd gone on so long without telling me! I'd try the condom conversation again. Maybe explain to her that you need the lube for it to feel good, and the condom can provide that without getting any semen on her (totally weird btw).

Does she have any close girlfriends that are sexually active? She seems a little too weirded out by all this, which leads me to believe she hasn't been discussing it with anyone outside of your relationship that has this kind of experience. Usually girls look to other more experienced girls to tell them "this is normal", or make them more comfortable with new sexual things that seem gross or scary.

[hockeyguy]

The whole marriage thing was her idea and I'm actually totally fine with that. She wants there to be something different to look forward to when we get married. Yeah, she has some close friends that are sexually active. I know they sometimes talk about sex but I don't know what specifically. I can try explaining how the no lube thing isn't working, but I'm not sure if it will help. I've mentioned it twice and both times, she seems like she understands but the same thing happens the next time.

I don't know how to get her to talk to her friends about it because I can't just tell them that's what they should discuss. lol. That would be weird. I'll try the condom conversation again (I agree it's a little strange but if that's what it takes). If this doesn't work, do you all have any suggestions?

I really love this girl, but she's not sexually getting it done. And I would feel really bad asking her to do something she doesn't want to. I won't break up with her over it because there are so many other things I love about her. I just don't know how to fix this situation. Any ideas would be fantastic.

[Wakeup]

She wants there to be something different to look forward to when we get married.

I doubt it will be totally different. It will be just like now the only difference is she'll refuse you sex more often then giving it to you. She's too hung up about sex in general and the textures and smells that go along with it already. You expect that to change?

You might want to seduce her into enjoying pleasing YOU more or odds are high that nothing will change in your bedroom from what you're experiencing right now ... which is denying you basic moves. Grab some lube from your drug store and slap it on yourself then tell her it chafes you without it. End of. Buy her some figging surgical/latex gloves if she's that icked out about sexual bodily fluids.

[legality]

hahaha your gf 's opinion about semen is acceptable but not refusal to have sex completely!

[bluesummer]

No, no.....I'm not saying YOU should tell her to talk to her friends. I was just wondering if she had many close female friends with boyfriends. If she didn't, I would understand a bit more why she was so weird about sex and semen and all that. I was never weirded out about it because I had girlfriends who did it all before me and told me all about it......so I just figured it was all good.

Honestly, sex is an important part of a long term relationship, and you guys are going to have to iron this out. It doesn't just suddenly become more special and exciting once you're married, either. She's not going to suddenly like semen because you put a ring on her finger. What's going on now is an indicator of what you can expect for your future sex life. Decied if you can deal with that for an eternity.

[Junket]

Hide it in her vagina, she'll never know!

[MaidenMinx]

Buy some lube, keep it on the bed side table and next time she goes to give you a hand job, apply the lube yourself. She will probably find it easier to pleasure you and therefore wil be more likely to use it again. Just make sure you *don't use too much, because she might find that overwhelming.

Is it really that difficult?

[Mathias]

Buy some lube, keep it on the bed side table and next time she goes to give you a hand job, apply the lube yourself. She will probably find it easier to pleasure you and therefore wil be more likely to use it again. Just make sure you use too much, because she might find that overwhelming.

Is it really that difficult?

Considering she probably will refuse, yes, it's that difficult.

[MaidenMinx]

Considering she probably will refuse, yes, it's that difficult.

And you make that assumption based on....?

He said she seemed to be understanding when discussing it, but won't do anything about it. I think she is too shy to say 'hey, where's that lube?'... Well that's my assumption....

[KingZ]

I hate it when kids this young refrain from sex because of marriage.

Listen, dude. You aren't 14 anymore, and neither is she. She needs to grow up and you need to quit being such a pussy.

If you don't start screwing now you'll waste your youth. You probably aren't going to marry her. If you do, you'll be miserable constantly. You're really going to marry a chick that's grossed out by semen and can't understand that dry handjobs aren't pleasurable at all? I guarantee you, the very fundamentals of your sex life as a married couple will be... just fu​cking miserable.

Oh, and by the way, she's faking her orgasms. Still, keep giving her oral. Enjoy being her bitch.

[maxmax]

I once had a girlfriend who was grossed out by Seamen.

[girl68]

You're not demanding too much at all. You're stating what is not all that good and she's completely ignoring you. How's that for communication!

My stance is: if she doesn't give a shit about your desires now... bet your ass she isn't going to give a half a shit later. I'd dump her and never look back. Sex is far too important to be let down time and time again over it.

[smackie9]

you have two options. wear a condom or use flavored lube and give her the heads up when it starts to blow!