pursuing a girl with a b/f

[jfett85]

Ok, this new territory for me. There's this girl in my English class (this is college) who I am extremely attracted to. At first it was just physical, but I finally got to have a conversation with her today and she's really an amazing person. I asked her to go to a couple events with me later this week in an email but it never came up in conversation so I don't really have an answer.

That's not my problem though. In her instant messenger profile she has a quote from a love song and it says "miss you J". I assume this is a boyfriend from back home (she lives about 2 hours away from school), but she never said anything about him in conversation. I assume she knows that I'm talking to her because I'm interested in a relationship. So should I bring up the boyfriend issue or should I wait and see when/if/how she decides to discuss it?

Advice from both genders would be appreciated on this way. Thanks guys!

~JFett

[csm]

Try casually asking who J is.

[Amyejean]

I read your message, and I am thinking she might not have a boyfriend. I think it might be a friend or relitave that might have died and that she has a memory of them in her profile.
Any normal girl would tell you if she had a boyfriend especially if you have asked her to a few events. The best way to know is to just go up and ask her out. She might have a boyfriend, but I really think it's a memorial...

Just my thought.
amye

[Jenrick285]

Might sound kinda tactless but uh perhaps ask if she's dating anyone else cause you're really into her? But then again, it won't answer the question of who J is ...
But! it'll tell you if she has a bf =)

[KirstyM]

Firstly she isnt a mind reader - "I assume she knows that I'm talking to her because I'm interested in a relationship" - she may think you are just being friendly.
Just ask her who J is.

[jfett85]

Well, based on your replies I guess I'm just going to ask outright if she has a boyfriend or not. Little update/extra info for you, though. I can kind of discount the memorial idea because the quote directly above it is "and all I want is to be where you are". However, the "miss you J" line has been deleted. No idea, just thought I'd let you all know.

[blue]

ask away! then you will no for sure

[jfett85]

Ok, here's another update for those of you that care. I talked to her online for nearly two hours last night. As suspected she does indeed have a boyfriend . She did say that I am a "great guy" and she would like to get to know me better. So I guess all I can do is be her friend for now, right? She knows I like her and want it to be more. It's always weird trying to be friends with someone you like as more than a friend, but I have to try. Talking to her last night really showed me that we have a lot in common and get along really good.

I guess there's nothing there to respond to really, just wanted to tell you all how it's going and get that off my chest. I'm sure you'll see me in here again with more on me and her.

~JFett

[KirstyM]

Well at least you have her as a friend. That is better than nothing!

[gsgann22]

well at least you know, that is better than not knowing