Parents and unfair treatment

[clearskies]

what can u say below this title/ any experiences ? that makes life hell specially after a break up or divorce.. so what about both? let mw know ur feelings.

[IndiReloaded]

Blueskies, maybe you would consider sticking to ONE thread stating all your issues. They are obviously related.

[clearskies]

I am seriously talking about family relations not friendships or marriages, anyone to share his experience with me. Unfair parents or awful treatment met? or i am the only one? might be people dont like to talk about parents as they do talk about friends and spouses..

[clearskies]

i do want to be a better mummy so never repeat my experience.

[boobaa]

I am not thankful to my mother because she never punsihed me. Now I am spoiled. I don't know, maybe it has also something to do with being the youngest and growing up without a father since the age of 13.


I have learned from this (looking at other examples too) that raising a child properly in a city is much more harder than in countryside, where you teach him/her through work and therefore the child learns how to value things differently. This is especially the problem in wealthy cultures where chiildren have everything and their parents constantly protect them from all kinds of 'dangers'.These kids will grow up slower, and if they manage to do well in life, that is probably because of their connections which they have made with their big mouths, and nothing more.

Give your child a little freedom, but not too much either, some hard words are neccesary sometimes.

[tooxshort]

clearskies, it's nice to give examples of your own experiences when you start a thread too ... instead of just getting answers from other people! People tend to divulge more when they know a bit about the poster as well!

although, you do make pretty decent threads!

[Gigabitch]

My mother started treating me like a kid again when I got divorced. She was bossy and pushy, and I had to really fight to get her to give me some space.

[DarkDwarf]

My parents made me clear up my room this week... :/

And I think all of these posts are really part of a major +1 conspiracy (sp?)

[clearskies]

I'd like to thank u all specially DD and Giga. What happened to Giga, exactly happened to me and even worse when u see much better elegant treatment to ur younger sis because she goto married the same time of my divorce! besides giving her a flat and our old car until she got a car herself...etc .No need to mention i am just back from work to be stuck in my room since they invited her and son w/o my being told.. and they all sit together talking excluding me... they dont like divorced pple i think.

[anachronistic]

I like to say that I never really had it my way, well even up to this point. However, part of my philosophy in life is, what doesn't kill you, makes you stronger. Without a doubt, the things I have dealt with (most of them) did not put me in such a dangerous position, but they did test my qualities as a person, and at times I contemplated suicide, but today, I am a much stronger person.

Unfortunately, I don't have time to sit down and type it all out on a forum for you all. Do you really want to read my life-story anyway? I'll just summarize it for you.

As a child, I was left home, unattended to, since I became conscious, somewhere around the age of two. My parents were inexperienced with children - I was my mother's first, and my father's fourth (he abandoned the other ones, and me too, eventually) I remember living all kinds of places: sometimes a car, my parents' friends' houses, and then eventually my grandparents' house (who seemed to actually love me) my parents eventually got a house, with the help of my aunt and uncle, and they never even really paid it off, either.

My grandfather was an old, retired, Lutheran pastor, who insisted my brother (a year younger, and by blood) and I attend a christian school. With his estate, he paid to put us through school. School for me was very difficult; I was a quiet, keep-to-myself, introverted boy. Kids would always make fun of me, and often because of my cheap clothing from Good Will, and salvation army. I just simply never fit in. I was the only outcast in the class for a very long time. Eventually I became friends with a black boy who moved to Ohio from Nevada, who was like me in a way. We were best friends for years.... until I moved.

My mother was some kind of swinger; bringing a new boyfriend home every week, or so it seemed. She did stay with some of them for quite some time; there was Howard, who abused children, Jeff, with the spoiled children that stole money from my family, and a few others, who I don't really remember. Sometimes my mom was crazy enough to fly out to California to meet some guy off the Internet, and then come back, only to search for another. I never knew how she made the money to fly out with all those credit card debts, bills, and everything. She may have had 3 jobs, but I still do not understand it. My mother was the typical, chain-smoking, lottery hopeless, wasting her money on stupid things. She went bankruptcy twice, as far as I know.

Life at home wasn't what most people consider 'fun'. I spent most of my time drawing, because there was nothing else to do. Eventually I got a Super Nintendo (after the N64 came out) an old, barely working gift from my neighbors. I got all their videogames. I became quickly obsessed with the idea of video games, and I still play my Super Nintendo at this day in age... it still works, amazingly.

My year-younger brother was a whiny, spoiled one. He still is. And now he's a thief and a druggy. Surprise surprise. I was usually able to talk my way out of punishments, especially the unfair punishments, when my mom took her anger and frustration out at me. I think my brother inherited all the bad genes, if it's possible. My parents were (still are) drug addicts, and my father, an alcoholic. I've always hated the two, and especially cigarettes. Since college, though, I have become a bit desensitized, and I drink occasionally. But I don't like drugs/smoking.

I still don't know quite what to say. I never really sat down and took the time to describe my childhood. Nobody ever asks about it, either. I guess that means I turned out okay, huh?

Well, anyway, my mother eventually met some indian dude in South Dakota. His personality was very difficult to get used to. He is very racist, has a short temper, is very violent, and whatnot. I can't stand being around very biased people, and when I am at home, I tend to just stay in my room. Only time I ever leave is to visit the bathroom or cook myself something to eat.. and by the way, we don't have very much to eat.

South Dakota was very difficult to get used to. Especially with where we moved- in the middle of nowhere. Just a trailer sitting in the middle of nowhere, and our neighbors somehow have wireless internet. There are no trees, no civilization, or anything. Everybody is a hick out here. The kind that develop websites from the 90s, the kind that are still living in the 60s. It's very difficult to describe; maybe you should just come check it out. The nice thing, is that I can go out and go fishing, because there is a river right by my house. I spend a lot of time fishing, especially by myself. Gives me time to think, to get away. Out here, it seems like a whole lonely planet, as if nobody else exists.

I eventually got my high school diploma. 2007 to be exact. It wasn't difficult, either. Someone should have these school programs checked out, they're just ****ing retarded. And I study at a university that is 6 hours away, thank god.

It's been a very difficult life. I barely even made it into college financially. I had to go through all kinds of work in order to get the funding. And I am very lucky to be studying abroad in Germany next year. It's a very unbelievable dream coming true for me.

So after rereading my post, it seems very empty... very ABC. It's just, without all the arguments, all the I hate you's, and everything... it just seems I left almost everything out. But I've pushed it so deep into myself, like shrapnel from an explosion that never comes out. It's just very hard to go back and think about. I am who I am, regardless of my nature. Never be too quick to judge, you know. I've had it happen a lot to me. Some people just can't swim out into the ocean that deep.

"Baby alligators in the sewers grow up fast."

[clearskies]

((what doesn't kill you, makes you stronger)) i pray for u again lilwing...mum and dad did soemthing to bring me as intellectual person but they never cared about me emothionally or cared why i am in tears or troubles.. they have there one lives, married in one place while they actually live liekenemies each in his space in that hse...but really ur story brought tears to my eyes, i hope u can survive and i am sure u will as i told u in the other posting..
loans are awful and were one of the reasons of the break of my marriage since he loves loans and mortgages etc.. it didnt work out because of money and debts..

[clearskies]

lilwing, i really hated who said u were spoilt, that was really hard life above my imagination.. i am glad u r studying and u r back on track , look spoilt brats always think others r like them .