Love Drug

[bohemiandonut]

Feb 18, 2005

Is it supposed to feel like a boulder in your stomach? This is so f*cking confusing. Maybe she's just crazy and I should get out now, go, scram. But maybe I'm just controlling and jealous. F*ck! Why do I hate her and love her? How can I? It makes no sense.

Maybe love is like wine, you have a sip, you get a little warm, and soon you want more. You know it can only end one way, but you don't want it to, not quite yet, so you keep drinking. You're pretty deep now, and you're starting to forget who you are, and you're pretty unsure what to do, you're just trying to ignore the growing pain in your gut.

"More?" you ask yourself. "That's probably a really bad idea," you say. "Wait it out."

"No! More!" Glug, glug, ahh, but the buzz is shorter and the pain is certain and ever-present. "What do I do? - You got yourself into this mess, now get me out!"

The pain is too much to bear now. You are afraid it will never pass. Panic. "Drink! Drink now, fast!" - There is none left.

"Beg! Oh God, just beg, f*ck pride, beg!" You cash in your pride for more and chug it down. You wipe your lips and they taste like blood. And you're spilling on your lap now and from your eyes so you catch every precious drop on your tongue but that only makes you spill more. You're a big sopping pathetic mess. Your stomach is in knots. You're wringing your hair. You're selling your body. You're shaking and blind and burning. You're an acid headache, a shredded heart, a dumb, dumb drunk. You need sleep but the room is spinning and thumping you in the stomach with every revolution.

"But wait!"

The room stops and stares. "Am I causing all this?" The doorknob grins at you. You're still in pain, but you furrow your brow, lips trembling. "Do I just need to... let.. - (Bleahhhrgh! Glahggh!)" You throw up all over the room. The excrement shines up at you from the seasick floor. You see lies and secrets and fear, swimming miserably in a puddle of doubt.

"You mean, I can just, let that go? Just like that? But what about my stomach? It still hurts."

The room is silent and steady.

"It's empty, isn't it?" No, you realize. It's not empty. It's just thirsty...

[indigosoul]

That is really good BD. Yours? The imagery is both revolting and gripping.
"The excrement shines up at you from the seasick floor." . Ugh. Effective.

Holy sh!t, I feel sorry for this person...

[poisoncell]

Yeah.... agree that Love is like wine. hmm... something you love it and can make you melt in it...

[Only-virgins]

Wine tastes like crap to me so I can not relate to this story.

[misombra]

this is good donut boy. good job.

[King of King]

nice job. love is like wine, everyone wants to try but cannot get rid of this habit, also like drug, but why dose everyone addct?

[Marvelous]

great job BDonut

q:
"You know it can only end one way" everybody know this but U must try...

[King of King]

is that human nature?

[inkeepingsecret]

god damnit donut, that was a grear f*cking story. It's like that guy was me a few months back. hahah i printed it out and saved this thing. Thanks man

[King of King]

love seemed like drug......

[artyemi]

yeah! i love it. especially the part that goes, "it's not empty, just thirsty"

[bohemiandonut]

yeah! i love it. especially the part that goes, "it's not empty, just thirsty"

Yeah, the last five words are pretty sweet.

Thanks for all the kind responses! You encourage me to keep writing (on... PAPER!?!?)

Haha... ah, the digital age.

[artyemi]

Definitely keep it up, man!

[artyemi]

Here's my resolution to that "thirst"

Fill that thirst with not the search for true love, but to fill it with great friends, good times, and the never ending search for adventure, knowledge, and happiness..

[bohemiandonut]

Here's my resolution to that "thirst"

Fill that thirst with not the search for true love, but to fill it with great friends, good times, and the never ending search for adventure, knowledge, and happiness..

...and sex. Lots and lots of sex.

Sounds like a plan!