I feel hurt and confused

[David12]

m not over this girl that rejected me

Alright, this is going to be really really long but bare me with me, if anyone takes the time to read this whole thing and I would really really appericate it. Im sorry I couldn't make it any shorter


so at this point, I can handle just being her friend but it seems like she doesn't even want to be my friend anymore and Im not sure why. So Im going to give you guys the WHOLE history of me and her! its going to be a long read if you decide you want to read and give me advice or tell me how it is.

About..7 months ago, I was in a relationship with my ex girlfriend and the both of us used a program called myspace(im sure everyone knows what that is by now) So one day, this girl name Katie added me to her friends list claiming she knew my girlfriend. My girlfriend said she used to hang out with her in middle school and such. At first. Katie seemed interested in being my friend, but I haven't even met her yet. Every 2 days or so she would leave me a message saying how I been and stuffl like that. I replied most of the of time and was flattered by the attention. Eventually she stopped messaging me for awhile and I didn't bother to check up on her because I didn't know her at well at the time.

After a few months I checked up on her, asking her how shes been, she said " I've been fine but love sucks!!!"

I explained to her why she shouldn't be thinking that way about it but got no reply back. So I was like "whatever" and stopped talking to for awhile..again, but during that time me and my girlfriend had broken up, but me and my ex are still very good friends however.

Anyway, I started talking with Katie again. She had some really good pictures up and I found her really attractive. So I thought maybe there would be a chance with her in the future. The problem was she was in a relationship already. but I thought I can just be a good friend to her in the meantime and hope that maybe something can happen. So eventually I asked for her phone number and she gave it to me. I called her up and the convosation went well, we had things in common and I made her laugh.

So, a little later on, I started talking to her friend on the phone as well, she told me that Katie liked me and thought I was cute. I was really happy to hear that.

This is when things kinda started to go sour. My girlfriend talked to Katie shortly after that, Katie asked my girlfriend if I talked about her and my girlfriend said " No, why do you like him?"

This is what Katie said to her in these exact words "ok thats good, ew no I don't like him"

Once my girlfriend told me this I flipped out!!! So I called Katie up right away and asked "Katie, do you like me...at all..?? She simply said No than said well...as a friend and that night we decided to meet up and hang out for the first time.

So I drove to the mall where I met them than they said they were going to her boyfriends house. So I decided to go with her and she drove me to Katies boyfriends house.

It...was really really boring. I mean, they didn't even talk to me that much, sometimes it felt like I didn't even exist and I knew I was smarter than all of them. Because they went to special ed, but they looked normal. So I find it strange how they would just leave me out, I know I don't know them at much but I would think I would get the most attention since I was the newest member.

No one there didn't really seem that into me at all.

So I told them I had to go home and we said our farewells, I told Katie it was nice meeting her and she said it was nice meeting me too.


Me and Katie talk on the phone and sometimes she would complain to me about her boyfriend because, her boyfriend hardly talks to her or see's her. she asked me if I liked her more than a friend, this is what I told her. I told her that I did have those feelings for her. but this is what she said...

" I am flatterd that you do but yes I do still ahve a boyfriend and sorry Aaron your a really nice guy and a great friend but i just don't have the same feelings as you.. Iam really sorry if i hirt your feling.. i didn't mean too"

We talked about it for a little while and told her it was alright. She understood and still seemed like she felt kinda bad about it,

This is where I should of stopped pursuring but I thought there was still a chance because she had a boyfriend and that maybe she just didn't simply want to leave and hurt him and that maybe if break up someday, I can be there for her and something may happen, so i never gave up hope there..

Me and her talked about alot of things. she also told me some things during that 40 min Conversation

She said that she talks to me more than any other guy
She said she only talks alot to me

and somewhat of a funny moment here, she said I was like a brother to her right now, than I said "Well, I guess I have a crush on my sister than" She laughed at that comment than said, oh alright, you can be a guy friend. lol

Than again, she calls all her guy friends brothers for some odd reason..

I also told you that I loved talking to her and that I cared about her.

She said she doesn't want to break it off with her boyfriend because she said she didn't want to break his heart because she cares about him so much, " I Just can't do that to him" she said

She said she was not happy right now with her boyfriend, because alot of drama goes on with them.

She also told me ALOT of drama goes on in her life and that I wouldn't even believe it.

So, the convosation was going good intill she said she had to go eat something real quck and that she would call me back, but she never did.....and that kinda upset me because what was going through mind was.."Did she just forget about me???"

That night I called her up about it and she said that she got busy or whatever. not sure if I should believe that seeing as she had a few hours left before work...

Since than, I haven't spoke to her in like a week..

I decided to call one of her friends up, just to see how the were doing. We talked for a little and than she brings up Katie. She said that her and her boyfriend are kinda broken up right and that they haven't seen each other for like 2 weeks now.

I told her how I felt about this girl Katie. She said that there is always a chance to work it out or whatever. She also said "Katie has been kinda freaking out because you like her so much" but its as though she was saying it in a good way, Im not sure, I asked if she has talked about me and she said " A little, she hasn't been calling you cute or anything but she said you were cool. As far as I know, she has said nothing bad about me. I also told her the situation where a few of there guy friends were making threats saying that they would kick my *** if kept talking to her or whatever, she said that "No, they wouldn't beat you up, Chris wouldn't do that"

She said that Katie has really been going through a rough time and hardly spoke to anyone and was very quiet.

She told me that she was seeing a movie tonight with Katie and invited me to tag along with them. I agree'd to it. She offered me a tip and said "You should buy flowers for Katie" I thought to myself it may have been a bad idea, but since its her friend saying that I should, I went and bought some flowers for her.

So later, I met them at the Theater. They finally showed up, saying "Hey Aaron" and such and such

I gave Katie the flowers saying " I heard about what happened, so I bought you some flowers to cheer you up" She just said "Thank you" and smiled. She also told me that she tried to call me a few times. I wasn't sure if I were to believe this. but im sure she was telling the truth.

But things kinda started to go downhill there as always, it always seems like I don't even exist as the two of them were only walking ahead of me and it seem as though I didn't even know them. but eh, we got in and such. I finally caught up with them and walked beside Katie, I said " I never been to this Theater before?" She said " you never been to a Theater before??" I said " No, I never been to THIS one before" she finally understood and we made our way in.

[David12]

As we were waiting for the movie, I talked to her for a little bit. but she was very very quiet and payed more attention to what her friend was doing with her cell phone than with me.

She asked if I talked to Melissa lately(My ex girlfriend) and I told her that I talked to her everyday but my ex wouldn't shut up about her new boyfriend and that I was getting kinda tired of it. Than a few min later I asked her how her Thanksgiving was.

She said " Eat and sleep, Im so lazy I hardly do anything"

I than said " Can I ask you something and you don't have to tell me if you don't want too, Whats going on between you and Chris right now?"

She said she didn't want to talk about it. wow, I guess its pretty bad.

Than after that, the movie started and we didn't talk at all throughout the whole movie. It does make sense but not once has she looked at me. In fact, she hardly looked at me.

After the movie, we headed out, her friend said "Im going to my house with Katie, you wanna come along??" I said "No, I really should be getting home" It was getting late and I thought that I would get bored over there anyway since they don't really pay much attention to me anyway.

As we headed out, I told Katie that I had to go.

I think I might of made a few mistakes here but I could be wrong.

Anyway, she gave me a hug and I kinda hung on a little tight like I wanted to hug her longer, but I couldn't because she free'd herself from me pretty quickly.

She was walking off intill I stopped her and ask "When can I see you again" She kinda gave some kind of shrug expression and said "I dunno, whenever". Than she walked off and again kinda quickly, I guess to catch up with her friend who didn't even stop at all. Than I said " I'll call you"

Than she said something while walking off but I couldn't understand it. eh..


This is when things started to go really really bad....later on myspace, I got this message from her.

"Aaron why did you give me those flowers? it was sweet thanks but you do know that there will (sorry but i have to say this) never be a us....okey and I aperishiate (sp) you buying me some.. but you didn't have to... sorry but you can never buy me flowers or anything again.. u promice.. cuz then to me it feels like we are dating and I don't want that...cuz I really don't like you in that way.. okey sorry I had to say it... and if you are mad at me for this message I don't care...cuz chris is already mad at me for bracking up with him lastnight...but I really dont give a flying rats *** if u r mad at me right now....or if anyone els is... so yea"


My responds to this was not very mature at all. This is was mine..

"Well thanks, I am offically heart broken now and I only brought those flowers because Michelle suggest that I did. She has told me things saying that you thought I was cute and funny and that you liked me and all.

your missing out. So whatever, I loved you Katie. OK!!! I did!! and I don't care if you think im ****ing crazy or not! I just had to tell you one way or another.

I cannot handle you as just a friend, if you don't want to be more than I can't talk to you anymore. Guess Im just not good enough for you.


Fine, if you want me to leave you alone, than thats what you will have."


I was pretty pi***d off, but later on I cooled down and send her another email..

"Hey listen

I know my last message wasn't very nice and I was a bit angry than and Im sorry for not understanding you earlier. I have had time to cool off a bit.

I am sorry for coming on to you too strong. I was a bit clingy and maybe a little desperate and I apologize for that.

Earlier I have admitted that I loved you. I probably don't really mean that, I think I thought I did but maybe it was just a massive crush.


I think you been going through a lot of emotions with your current or ex-bf. I don't know if thats a big reason why you feel nothing towards me.

I do respect your decision now, even though I couldn't accept it earlier. I have been hurt many many times and often times I don't know what to think. I just think that I am not good enough or that I have done something that turned them off.

And if you let me katie, I want to continue to be friends. but I won't expect anything more from it at this point.

I'll move on and date other girls."

And this was he response to this

"and I apologize for my message earlier and if it sounded like I didn't want to be friends with you anymore. I do just not bf/gf. and i have nothing agaist you. you are a sweet kind guy. and a wonderful friend. I just like going out with my friends ex-bfs. and I learnd that the hard way. sorry.

I know that you didn't mean what you said about you being in love with me.. and just a addvice to you.. you should never say "i love you" unless you really mean that.. just to let you know okey..

and me likeing my ex bf has nothing to do with me not likeing you.. okey its just how my feeling are. and I really can't chage them....

yea i would be weckyed cool we we can still be friends...

and sorry about everything that has been going on..."


Ever since than, I haven't been talking to her much at all. I called her up once to see whats up and all. She said she was depressed and that her life sucked and such. After about 20 min she said she had to go. I asked when I call her back she said " It doesn't matter"

I send her an email later on. About what she has to do to get out of depression and to make a some what long story short, she got pretty mad at me for offering her advice and was being rude to me. I told her that I would be here for her if she needed help. Than she said " I KNOW THAT YOU TELL ME THAT EVERYTIME YOU TALK TO ME OR SEE ME.....GOD Thanks for trying to help"

about 6 days has passed and I decided to call Michelle up. As soon as she answer'd she gave the phone to Katie because she was buying something. Which was kinda weird but whatever so I talked to Katie for a very short time. She said she's been doing better and asked what she been up to, she said she has been talking to her friend Jason and some other dudes name I forgot. I was kidding around telling her that she was pretty rude to me the last time we talked. She said she was sorry. But it didn't seem like she meant it well


ah, finally, now I've finally caught up to the present. I know it was really long and I apologize for that but I think its important to explain every detail. Its been 2 weeks and I haven't heard from her. She never messages me or calls me.

What I want to know is, is there anyway to fix this problem?? and can someone please tell me what I did wrong and list the steps to improve my situation?? I know for sure I can never be with her as bf/gf but I know maybe I can be a good friend to her because I care about her and that would be good enough. And I get really really Jealous when I see her talk to other guys on myspace, leaving them comments saying "Hey, how are you? Just thought I drop by and say hi. Write me back!! love ya" She is even calling other guys cute! but she never does that to me...at least not anymore.

Seriously, how are these other guys that much different from me? I deserve that kind of attention from her. I act like a friend to her but she won't do it back?? WHY???

So I need to know what went wrong...and how I can improve this situation. Please. Thank you and thanks for reading. Looking forward to your advices and i need it pretty long and professional. please.

[jurupa]

David - Fist off, please work on a Cliff Note version of what happen because that is way to freaking long. No I did no read it all, but saying that the last part in your second post I will reply to and it ain't going to be pretty.

Seriously, how are these other guys that much different from me?

Its call personality and that no one is a clone of you.

I deserve that kind of attention from her.

I am assuming the attention you are talking about is her showing interest in other guys. If this is the case, then you do not deserve her attention at all.

I act like a friend to her but she won't do it back?? WHY???

Maybe because she does not want to be your friend.

So I need to know what went wrong...and how I can improve this situation.Please.

Dude there are other girls out there, go talk to them and stop thinking about this girl.

Looking forward to your advices and i need it pretty long and professional. please.

From the looks of things you need advice that is short and to the point. There is no need to wring a short story to give you advice.

[sazzya1987]

David12, She does not sound worth it, look around fr other girls, she will see what she is missing!

[Gigabitch]

Dude, you know you're obsessive.

DO whatever you have to do to move past this and get over her. She's not even a nice person, and she's given you evidence of this time and again. Why can't you like someone who likes you back? Why?

[David12]

Yea but I do think there is still a chance to have a good friendship with her. Im thinking none of you of guys read the whole thing and I only went so much into detail about this so I can get a very accurate responds to this. Yea, I already know there is no chance for a relationship with her, I know that. But what I want to know is, is there a chance of a friendship wit her?? Also, I want to know what I really did wrong. Was it really my fault that she doesn't like me?? or does she not find me attractive at all and I also want a good estimate of what she thinks of me. ok? thanks.

[Gribble]

You could write that out short and concise without losing a touch of meaning. I hate to be a total jerk about it, but it's way too much for me to read, and I have a feeling the people who do offer their advice are just gonna skim it and miss all those details you want read.

[sazzya1987]

Yea but I do think there is still a chance to have a good friendship with her. Im thinking none of you of guys read the whole thing and I only went so much into detail about this so I can get a very accurate responds to this. Yea, I already know there is no chance for a relationship with her, I know that. But what I want to know is, is there a chance of a friendship wit her?? Also, I want to know what I really did wrong. Was it really my fault that she doesn't like me?? or does she not find me attractive at all and I also want a good estimate of what she thinks of me. ok? thanks.

I read all your posts.

[David12]

its just when I see her talk to other guys and such, its really hard for me and I have no idea why she won't give me that same attention. Asking me to call her. I mean she doesn't even send me a message to check up on me. It would be much easier for me to move on if I knew why she is acting this way towards me. I mean, did I do something seriously wrong here?? Please clear this whole thing up for me..

[David12]

Its been almost 3 weeks now I think...

Im sorry to bring this old topic up again . but I guess I just need to vent again.

I have not spoke or seen her in the past 3 weeks now. During this time I have been thinking less and less of her. but really, its more of an on and off thing. Sometimes I care and sometimes I don't...its really weird.

I can't even go on her myspace page anymore because I know I wouldn't be able to stand seeing her contact other guys and talking to them and such. Being all happy to get in contact and such and knowing that I may never get that from her for some reason.

Even thinking about it makes me upset because I think that really there is something wrong with me and that I've done something really really serious to her that made her not like me at all.....

Im sorry to bring her up again, I am doing better though its just that, she used to do that to me when she first met me and I probably should of asked her out back than when she was single so long ago. But that couldn't be helped because I had a girlfriend back than. When me and her talked, She told me alot of things so its like....I was someone she can trust but now I am not anymore....so its like I broke her trust in me.

[Zach]

David. You must cut contact as much as possible. Move on. Simple as that. Rough truth, but you got to get out of this situation. Cutting contact and waiting it out, are the keys. Find other things that you like to do. Be happy with yourself and you will find someone great for yourself. Don't fret over it. Try not to take life too seriously because you'll never make it out alive.

Much <3 -- Zach

[David12]

Its just that Im really upset because she makes bulletins on myspace saying that she really like this guy and that she wants him! but also complains that everytime she likes a guy she can't him and YET!!! I offer myself to her but she rejected me!!

That is what really really REALLY REALLY REALLY bugs me!! ITS LIKE THERE IS SERIOUSLY SOMETHING WRONG ME WITH ME!??

Why!! why the hell did she reject me??? We had so much in common!! Im good looking!!! Why the hell did she had to feel the need to reject me if she wants someone??

[vashti]

Silly David! Just because she wants someone doesn't mean she wants YOU!! She might think you are the sweetest guy in the world; just not the guy for her. Don't be in such a rush. There isn't anything wrong with you; It just isn't as easy as you think to make a match.

[Katty]

You are pushing yourself on this girl. That's why she doesn't like you in that way. You could be the hottest guy in the world, but obsessive acts are ugly and scary.
In the future, don't get pissed if a girl doesn't call you, especially if you are not dating her. That will only make matters worse.
Honestly, I think you should completely forget about this person. I don't even think you should be friends with her. Her behavior is driving you crazy! Get over it soon, it's just going to make you become depressed!

[David12]

1.How exactly was I obsessive towards her?? and don't just say "Uhh because you were clingy" or something like that, you should explain why.

2. I never got pissed at her for not calling me.

3. Im already depressed about it