Should I be jealous?

[Stirfry]

My boyfriend who is 25 (I'm 21) has recently started to hang out with an old school friend (gorgeous, and is also 25). Friends of his suspect that this girl has had a crush on him for years, but he doesn't believe it. They hang out on some Saturdays, go out for dinner and/or a movie, or just chill out at her place. I trust him, and I am 99.999% sure he would never cheat on me.. he's been cheated on before we had met, and he hasn't entirely gotten over it.
I'm never invited to join them... I know he loves me, but sometimes it just bugs me. Am I overreacting, or should I be suspicious?

[vashti]

The fact that you aren't invited would be a problem for me.

[Eternal-Lullaby]

Yeah the lack of invitation would have my nerves up as well.

I think it would be the same for just about anyone in this situation. But if you entirely trust each other, and if he's so happy to hang out with this girl, wouldn't he want her to get to know you as well?

Just a thought.

[Michael6084]

maybe he hasn't invited you simply because it would seem awkward that you're just sitting there while the two of them are reminiscing of times in school and whatnot.

instead of waiting for him to invite you, why not just ask to go along with him so you have a better idea if he actually is doing something behind your back or not?

[gHEXjt]

From a guy's perspective, you're not overreacting. If I were dating a girl that was doing something like that, I'd be downright pissed off. There's nothing wrong with being friends with someone that is of the opposite sex, but when they start hanging out with them in a private setting, and you are never included, I think that's reason for concern. Trusting him is all fine and good, but what if you were doing the same thing with a guy? How would you expect him to react? You should discuss it in an extremely non-confrontational manner. You should just say that it makes you uncomfortable and ask why you are never included...something along those lines.

[Stirfry]

I don't want to ask to tag along, because I know he's thought of bringing me, and if he liked the idea, he'd just ask. He's wanted me to be friendly with two of his other friends, but doesn't do so with this girl.

I'm best friends with my ex bf, and it's entirely platonic. I dont invite bf when I hang out with him because it would just be awkward. The difference is that this girl likes my bf, he knows I suspect this.

The difference is they've never crossed the friendship line, and everybody knows that the "what if" thoughts have obviously floated in their minds at some point.

[jane]

OK.. so here is my thought.... if your asking whether or not you should be jealous, means, you OBVIOUSLY, have a doubt. He doesnt invite you mostly means.. he is at the very least flirting with the idea of sleeping with her, if he hasnt already. You may have all the faith in the world, but as a woman... if he has a girlfriend.. I would have invited her too.. or I want something else from him.

[gHEXjt]

You saying you're best friends with an ex-boyfriend adds an entirely different dynamic to this. Regardless of what you say, the feelings you are expressing here are the same ones he feels when you are hanging out alone with an ex-boyfriend that you've more likely than not been sexually active with. You can't expect him to act differently towards this girl unless you act differently towards that guy (i.e. not hanging out with him at all or only when your current boyfriend is present). Once again, this is something that needs a serious discussion between the two of you.

[Stirfry]

You saying you're best friends with an ex-boyfriend adds an entirely different dynamic to this. Regardless of what you say, the feelings you are expressing here are the same ones he feels when you are hanging out alone with an ex-boyfriend that you've more likely than not been sexually active with. You can't expect him to act differently towards this girl unless you act differently towards that guy (i.e. not hanging out with him at all or only when your current boyfriend is present). Once again, this is something that needs a serious discussion between the two of you.

Me and bf have thoroughly discussed my friendship with my ex, and he understands why the three of us don't hang out. It's a weird thing to most people when they see someone being friends with an ex for years, but it's just the way things happened. You really are right though. I shouldn't be worried about his friendship if he's not worried about mine.