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Thread: I feel so...Selfish. I just don't know if I really want her as my girlfriend anymore

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Posts
    105

    I feel so...Selfish. I just don't know if I really want her as my girlfriend anymore

    Hey, as you some of you may know, I have made a few topics about my girlfriend in the past. One of them being about how I just didn't find my girlfriend attractive anymore and another about her complaining about some old friend of hers talking to me.

    Also guys, please bare with me till the end.

    I have complained about her. but I dunno. I just love her alot for some reason. But the problem is, I really don't find her attractive at all and this is really effecting my affection towards her. I mean, sometimes I think..."God, I can do much better than this"

    and my younger brother has someone more attractive than me. I know, I sound like a jerk and Im sorry. But this is just me and I think IMO looks counts alot also. And even than, her personality is...different. She can be sweet sometimes. But she still has some growing up to do.

    Now some of you may already be thinking "Alright, than why the hell did you get into a relationship with someone you didn't find attractive"

    Well, to be honest. I saw potential in her. I thought just maybe in a few Months she would get better somehow. Also, I have always had a hard time getting a girlfriend. Always. So I thought " Hey, this girl really seems to like me and I rarely ever get that, why not give it a shot you know?"

    So thats what I did. I went for it to see if this would plan out. She has improved personality wise. But still, I just didn't find her really attractive. I have posted her pics a little while back, but I took those down because I realize what I did was wrong.

    But, there is something about her.......we..somehow have this special bond. We have talked ALOT in the past 6 Months and for some reason. I just can't bring myself up to just tell her " Im sorry this ain't going to work out " I dunno why. Sometimes I just want to say something to her. I do....love her. But I think I can find someone more suited for me and I think she can find someone more suited for her. She just doesn't know yet because she loves me alot.

    I get upset thinking about it. Thinking about being seperated from her because I KNOW I would miss her if I were to break up with her. I would feel soooo bad. and I might regret it later on and realize I was just being a stupid selfish jerk.

    and I had this dream where she dumped me and I was SOOO upset and I actually missed it.

    So I just don't know right now. I mean, I want to end it with her but at the same time I don't want to end it..

    Its like I have 2 sides fighting. 1 fighting for "ending it with her" and the other side fighting for "Not breaking up with her"

    I need professional help on this one guys....*sigh*

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Sep 2006
    Location
    Mars
    Posts
    908
    I make this simple and easy for you. Break up with her.

    You gave it a shot and it didn't worked out. It happens. The relationship had ran it course. Now you have to learn pretty much the downside of having relationships which is not having the other person around. Loads of people gone thru this and most have gone to dating other people and having other relationships, some bad some good.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Location
    New Zealand.
    Posts
    244
    Yep, I'm with Jurupa.
    To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering, one must not love; but then one suffers from not loving. Therefore, to love is to suffer, not to love is to suffer, to suffer is to suffer. To be happy is to love; to be happy then is to suffer, but suffering makes one unhappy; therefore to be unhappy one must love or love to suffer or suffer from too much happiness. I hope you're getting this down.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    May 2005
    Location
    Los Angeles
    Posts
    7,098
    I think the thing you are feeling is attachment, not love. It is time you start acting responsibly and let her go if you aren't all that "in" to her. She deserves to be with someone who values her entirely.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Gender
    Female
    Location
    Seattle
    Posts
    16,935
    You know what, David? She might get better after you break up with her. She might not. It's really no concern of yours because I can tell you're done with her. So can everybody else. You should probably tell her before she has to figure it out for herself.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Sep 2006
    Posts
    11
    I dont know your history on this one,but i know 1 thing of my own experiance.I know this girl and im trying to get with her,and if she whould reject me or not like me,i whould die.

    Go and have a talk with her,it may help.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Sep 2006
    Location
    Hawthorne, NEVADA
    Posts
    19
    Try to stay away from her for a while and you might find your true feeling......
    Come share your love story. [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC][URL="http://MyPuppyLover.com"].[/URL]

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Jul 2003
    Posts
    76
    By the sounds of it your mind is made up already... and you just have to amass the stones to do it already.

    I went through this exact same thing when I was 21... with a great girl with a great personality... cute too... but a little overweight, and I couldn't get passed it.

    Shallow yes... meh. Just don't tell her the truth. Seriously, I made that mistake by telling her I wasn't attracted to her anymore and she was crushed.

    Tell her your too young and don't want to be tied down. Very true, and easy on her as well.

    DO it!

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Gender
    Male
    Location
    Ireland
    Posts
    586
    Time to sit her down and tell her the truth. it's not fair on her OR you.

    She could be falling head over heels in love with you, planning your future togethor. Choosing names for your kids. Setting up a pension scheme for when ye retire togethor. Choosing an urn for your ashes!

    ****sound of screeching brakes****

    Man end it now! Obviously you don't love her and maybe never will. Yes she's a nice girl. Yes she has good qualities, evereyone has

    If she doesn't float your boat move on. Find someone who makes your heart beat faster once you see her. Someone who's voice gives you goosebumbs. Someone who you have everything in common with and who has your undivided attention.
    Many questions answered.... Many answers questioned

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