Talk to me

[moeburn]

Allright, here's my story. This cute emotional (very emotional) girl recently asked me out, and I said "yeah!", and then i said "when?", and she got all angry and started laughing at me with her friends. For some reason.

Then... I talked to her online, and she said "I was joking about asking you out. How do you feel?". I didn't want to show that I was actually hurt, so I lied; "I feel like I just lost a bet". Then she got really angry, blocked me, refuses to even acknowledge me when she sees me, and is just being very difficult.

Turns out she wasn't joking, and she kinda likes me. So I'm in a bit of a rough spot here. I'm not sure if I should suprise her or interrupt her and force her to talk to me, because I know how incredibly stressful that would be. The best alternative to that, where one gets a chance to think about what to say, is talking online, which is clearly not possible.

So what the heck do I do? I lack experience in this situation.

[Steve2004]

..she sounds like a stupid girl. if you dont mind my saying...who says they were joking about asking you out and laughs about it to her friends..then later says that she actually likes you?...a MESSED up girl..that's who

[moeburn]

..she sounds like a stupid girl. if you dont mind my saying...who says they were joking about asking you out and laughs about it to her friends..then later says that she actually likes you?...a MESSED up girl..that's who

Yeah, she is pretty messed up, but that doesn't mean I dont like her

[Joe_Watson]

...and she got all angry and started laughing at me with her friends RED FLAG . For some reason.

The reason is because she's a b*tch.

Doesn't what she did to you in front of her friends tell you all you need to about her and what kind of person she is?

I was joking about asking you out. How do you feel?

She only wants to know how you feel so she can see how much damage she's done. It's basically all an act on her part, an illusion, designed to make you feel bad. She's playing mind games with you for her own satisfaction. She doesn't give a damn about you. Trust me. Her bahaviour is completely irrational.

Dude, avoid her at all costs. She's one of those "mean girls" who like to lead people on and pretend to "like" them when they really just want to burn you instead.

Turns out she wasn't joking, and she kinda likes me.

No, she doesn't. If she really liked you, she wouldn't treat you this way at all.

Then she got really angry, blocked me, refuses to even acknowledge me when she sees me, and is just being very difficult.

She asked you out and then she blocks you from the IM for no apparent reason and gets angry when you ask "when"? WTF? This girl is seriously ****ed up and is really acting like a ***** towards you. Something's wrong here. I know the type, stay away from her at all costs, or the second burn will be a hell of a lot worse than the first (this one). She's only playing with you for kicks.

Do you really want somebody like this in your life? Please avoid her. Something is seriously wrong with this girl that she treats people this way. You deserve better. She doesn't like you, because if she did, she wouldn't be doing this to you.

Sorry, but you'd be a lot better off with somebody, anybody else. Just move on like none of this ever happened and forget all about her. You'll be better for it, believe me.

[Steve2004]

Yeah, she is pretty messed up, but that doesn't mean I dont like her

to each his own i guess

[Only-virgins]

..she sounds like a stupid girl.

Get out of my head!..no really..thats the only thing I was thinking.

[moeburn]

Allright allright, I know her a bit better than this, she's not that kind of girl that you're all describing, mostly because she completely lacks self confidence, because she was completely emotionally destroyed in the past. I've met girls that just want to hurt you, and she couldn't do that if she tried, she's not brave enough.

Her friends told me she's had a crush on me for 5 months. Either way, I'm not asking if I should go out with her, I'm asking how I should go about talking to her.

[Joe_Watson]

Hey, if you go out with her, you pretty much deserve what you get, considering what we've told you.

But if you really want to do this:

As for talking to her, just walk up to her and start talking about anything. It doesn't really matter what the topic is. Conversation is conversation. Just start somewhere and just keep the conversation going by elaborating (though not too much) and keep asking her questions. What she likes, hobbies, etc. Just go with the flow, pay attention, and show interest in what she says. Hope this works out for you, but personally I'd stay away from somebody so ****ed up.

[Steve2004]

because she was completely emotionally destroyed in the past.

that is one of the many excuses that people use to justify doing something stupid.

another one of my favorites is "oh but i came from a broken family...so it's ok if mess up my life and everyone else's that i come into contact with"

It's bullshit. I dont care how emotionally destroyed anyone is...it's no excuse to treat someone like she did you.

[moeburn]

that is one of the many excuses that people use to justify doing something stupid.

another one of my favorites is "oh but i came from a broken family...so it's ok if mess up my life and everyone else's that i come into contact with"

It's bullshit. I dont care how emotionally destroyed anyone is...it's no excuse to treat someone like she did you.

Actually, I know that she was, because I know the people that did it.

Sheesh, you people don't give her OR me much credit here.

Joe, I didn't mean that. She's a friend of mine, I know how to have a conversation with her. I meant, how should I approach her, now that she's refusing to talk to me?

[Steve2004]

Actually, I know that she was,

not once did i say she wasn't. i said she's using it as an excuse to do dumb stuff.

[Joe_Watson]

Joe, I didn't mean that. She's a friend of mine, I know how to have a conversation with her. I meant, how should I approach her, now that she's refusing to talk to me?

If she's refusing to talk to you, there's really not much you can do. I don't really think you should approach her. Let her approach you if she's really that interested. You can't force someone to talk to you. If you try to force anything with someone, you just come off as creepy and usually end up scaring them away. She must be willing to talk to you of her own free will.

If she isn't going to even talk to you of her own accord, then there's nothing you can do. Sorry. This is something she is going to have to work out on her own. If she wants to talk to you, she will.

If not, then no big loss. It's probably for the best if if she doesn't. Besides, after how she treated you, do you really want someone like that in your life? Being "emotionally destroyed" in the past is no excuse. How she treated you was just rude and very stupid on her part.

Sheesh, you people don't give her OR me much credit here.

And do you wonder why we don't give you much credit? It's because you actually want to go out with somebody as ****ed up as she is. And you seem to think that this is all normal behaviour from her. It's not. When you figure that out, then we'll give you some credit.

[misombra]

she was probably nervous talking to you. some people don't exactly know how to handle situations like that, particularly when you're a teenager. just talk to her and get to know her. it seems like she is giving you some girlie drama to see how well you can handle it. if you like her then just talk to her. tell her it hurt your feelings a little when she did that. so you'll open up a little, maybe she'll open up a little, and on and on.

and yes what she did was messed up. tell her it was messed up.

[Only-virgins]

she was probably nervous talking to you. some people don't exactly know how to handle situations like that, particularly when you're a teenager.

I'll vouch for that.

[nomas]

Moe,

What exactly did she get angry about? That's what I don't understand. I don't see what you did wrong un less I'm not seeng the entire picture here.

But your question is regarding how to approach her.

If she's being unapproachable and you really want to tell her whatever, I suggest you write her. If email isn't an option, writer her a traditional letter and either mail it or deliver it yourself to her house.