Erectile Dysfunction

[newlywed08]

I have a question about ED. My husband, age 25 has had periodical trouble with ED throughout our 6 year relationship. What happens is that he goes soft in the middle of the act.

Today we were making love and he started to get soft while I was on top, so I asked him to get on top of me - I get really self conscious when he starts to go soft. He did OK for a while, but then got soft again.

My first question: is this normal for a man of his age? I've gently asked him what is going on, and he says that it's completely natural. I just don't know that it is...I certainly have never heard of it happening on a regular and recurring basis.

Also, I've developed some sort of a complex. I'm on Prozac for one, which kills my sex drive. My psychiatrist and I are working on getting me switched over to Welbutrin, but I just haven't been into it for a while now, and I feel, well, dysfunctional myself. I feel like I'm 24, newly married and should be getting it on all the time! And, when he has trouble, I feel like it's my fault. And when we have sex I just haven't gotten that much out of it, and don't quite know how to act. I don't want to fake it because that isn't honest, but at the same time telling him I'm getting nothing out of it doesn't seem right either.

Our relationship is going OK, though we do have our problems. Since last year when we got married we've been arguing about house work, and of course there's the sexual frustration. Other typical newlywed things such as money and inlaws have not been problematic. I have also been very preoccupied with graduate school and then with an ailing horse, so I have put our relationship on the backburner on occasion.

Anyway, is this normal? And what should I/we do about it?

[vashti]

If it (ED) only happened very occassionally, I wouldn't worry. However, if this is a recurring problem, then yes - I'd consider talking to a physician because it may be indicative of an underlying medical problem.

As for you - a lot of anti-depressants can cause reduced libido, including Prozac. Wellbutrin should be better. Just be patient and be sure your doctor knows. I don't advise you fake orgasms with your boy - just tell him the truth.

[newlywed08]

It happens every few months and happens for a week or so at a time, partly because of the psychological component I think.

I'm worried about the medical issue though. A failed roll in the hay is one thing, but you're right he should see a doctor. He had a cholesterol test come back high a couple of years ago and hasn't gotten another since then. Oh boy, he will love going to the doctor for this one.

I might mention it to my psychiatrist and see if she has any suggestions.

[Lite]

Could be a medical issue, anti-depressants, stress...

But, it's mostly curable with a pill and/or a cock ring (Helps keep blood in the penis longer)

Or, he could be gay...

[Yggdrasil]

It's quite common for a man's penis to go from hard to soft back to hard and so on during intercourse. Some men's penises go almost entirely soft before becomming hard again. Your MD should be able to confirm this.

Just have him keep on thrusting (pumping) slowly and his erection will return. This most likely has nothing to do with ED.

As far as it comes to the housework, go sit together and come up with a chore list.

[Mr.Meat]

I have a question about ED. My husband, age 25 has had periodical trouble with ED throughout our 6 year relationship. What happens is that he goes soft in the middle of the act.

Today we were making love and he started to get soft while I was on top, so I asked him to get on top of me - I get really self conscious when he starts to go soft. He did OK for a while, but then got soft again.

My first question: is this normal for a man of his age? I've gently asked him what is going on, and he says that it's completely natural. I just don't know that it is...I certainly have never heard of it happening on a regular and recurring basis.

Also, I've developed some sort of a complex. I'm on Prozac for one, which kills my sex drive. My psychiatrist and I are working on getting me switched over to Welbutrin, but I just haven't been into it for a while now, and I feel, well, dysfunctional myself. I feel like I'm 24, newly married and should be getting it on all the time! And, when he has trouble, I feel like it's my fault. And when we have sex I just haven't gotten that much out of it, and don't quite know how to act. I don't want to fake it because that isn't honest, but at the same time telling him I'm getting nothing out of it doesn't seem right either.

Our relationship is going OK, though we do have our problems. Since last year when we got married we've been arguing about house work, and of course there's the sexual frustration. Other typical newlywed things such as money and inlaws have not been problematic. I have also been very preoccupied with graduate school and then with an ailing horse, so I have put our relationship on the backburner on occasion.

Anyway, is this normal? And what should I/we do about it?

tRY TO KEEP ALL OF THESE ISSUES out of the bedroom and pick a time where you are both relaxed and enthusiastic.
prozac is not a solution to your issues. If want to change the way you act..change the way you think. Fellate him intensely when he goes soft.

[CAM]

Its a biological miracle that it gets hard at all. Think of it...60+ cubic centimeters of blood at a pressure twice that of normal in a human body (so, something like 240/160...enough to cause a stroke) being held there by a spongy organ tightened up like a fist while he's pumping away inside your body.

Yes, if it is an increasingly common problem, then it is a serious issue.

Otherwise, just give the guy a break You don't always orgasm. He doesn't always get hard.

Oh, BTW...sometimes, when a woman is on top, she can't keep the momentum going to keep a guy hard. It takes a very special woman with the right hip rocking and up/down motion to coax a guy into a long term erection when she's doing the riding.

[CAM]

GUYS: if you find out the new GF used to ride horses (especially English style) then you are in for some great sex with the woman on top...he thigh muscles and the fact she's used to posting in the saddle...oh, baby!

[gallas]

I have faced such ED problems and I have used a lot of herbal medicines for sometime, but once my physician prescribed me Viagra, I just could not think of using something else. It has shown some very good results in my case and I am very much satisfied. You need to consult a specialist because only they can let you know the exact reason behind your problem and can suggest you the most appropriate pill. For me Viagra has worked best, for you it can be something else.