Someones trying to break my girlfriend and I up...

[omens]

Long story short: My girlfriend went on a college trip to canada for the weekend, it's just a getaway thing... Her and some of her friends (mostly guys) are at the bars right now (legally drinking at 18+) and it's her first time drinking. I expressed my insecurity to her about this and she got angry... then this happened:

She gets a mobile IM saying I'm kissing a girl (complete lie), she tells me and she's hurt/angry, but told me I don't have to explain myself.

Meanwhile, I asked her to vent, and she blew up at me, nit picking all of my flaws. I asked for it though, so I take it. She storms off angry, then I findout that her friends from a long time ago (who are friends of her exs) have been trying to get her to dump me for awhile. I'm left to trust one of the guys there to watch her and make sure she doesn't do anything stupid (drinking for her first time). Later she calls and resolves some issues to a point that she's calm, doesn't say "I love you too".

Hour later I get IM'd from the same person who lied to her earlier, telling her I kissed a girl. I argue with this person for awhile (they say stuff so twisted it makes me naseous), and everything they say to me, her friends said to her (word for word, verbatim) So I forward the convo to her facebook inbox, and text her telling her what happened and what I believed. She argues with me and then says "What the f*** ever. I don't feel like dealing with this. F*** off"

Then (apparently) her friend jeremy takes the phone and texts me saying "dude she's pissed, you might want to leave her alone or you both may do something you'll regret."

Now I'm sitting here, far far away from my girlfriend and I don't know what to do. She returns tomorrow at 7PM but this whole situation has me feeling horribly sick... (apologies for the length)

[tooxshort]

Man, after all this time, you still haven't gotten your insecurities in check! Just because she's drinking for the first time doesn't mean she's going to get into anything crazy ... the first time I drank, I felt so sick and threw up a ton of times ...

[CocoChanel]

Yeah true what short said.
Not only do you need to get your insecurities together but you also need to work on getting so many people out of your business as well.

[alovehangoverr]

Iagree with the above about getting your insecurities in check.. Not just about the drinking but also with dealing with these other people you're letting into your relationship.

My advice? Stop indulging people you know only want negative things for your relationship. Don't respond to their IMs/emails/texts. You know they only have bad intentions and it's unlikely you'll be able to convince them to stop. Your best bet is to ignore them. Stop giving them the attention and reactions they so obviously want.

As for the arguments with your girlfriend-- listen, I know hearing about potential cheating is rough on both of you, but you need to consider the source of this information. Getting pissed at each other, throwing out insults, picking at flaws, etc isn't going to get you anywhere. Reading both of your reactions I couldn't figure out why either of you were upset with each other.

The bottom line is this: you won't be able to control what other people say and do, however you can control your reactions. So do that.

[vashti]

Okay, I guess I'll be the devil's advovcate.

Considering the fact that she seems to have very bad taste in friends (who keeps losers around that play these kind of phone games, anyway? They all sound incredibly stupid and immature, including your girlfriend) I might be worried about her taste in drinking partners, too.

I think you ought to consider how life might be improved if you dated a girl that was little bit more grown-up.