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Thread: Hard To Read Her

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jan 2005
    Posts
    10

    Hard To Read Her

    Hey all,

    I was hoping to get some advice on this relationship Ive been hoping to get going for a while now. You see, Ive been working at this temp job and met a woman who I quickly became attracted to. (For reference, im 20, shes 19). We became friends at work and not soon after I asked her out to dinner a little before christmas, but she declined and said that "Well, I sort of have a boyfriend, but ... I dunno" and later on one of her friends said it wasn't a serious relationship at all. We still chatted like normal on the job when we could as we worked in different departments up until she stopped working there when her college classes started back up (at least, she doesnt work there full time any more, she still works an afternoon here and there). Before she did though, I asked for and got her number and gave her mine.

    We've kept in touch since and talk about twice a week, though it tends to be me calling her as opposed to the other way around when we do talk we do so for usually over a half hour. When I learned of the upcoming company holiday party I asked her if she was going to it with anyone she told me that she was taking her ex, Kyle. Through bits of conversations ive had with her ive come to find out that her and Kyle were friends for a while but only that, and a couple months ago she dated another guy which broke Kyles heart. She told me that she wanted to bring him because she promised him earlier that she would, and that she wanted to smooth things over because she felt bad about breaking his heart. Still, both her and her friends downplayed her relationship with Kyle, saying that they werent going out and that they were just friends, so it was understandable.

    However, at the holiday party she showed up not with Kyle but with one of her female friends. I only got to talk swing by to talk to her for about five minutes as I had night classes to get to but I did strike up conversation with her. Not long into the conversation she introduced me to her friend and said "This is Tony" as she pointed at me and then subtly pointed to her chest as she broke eye contact with me and looked at the floor. I took this as a pretty good sign.

    However, it seems that when I offer to go and do something together she never knows her schedule too far in advance (Though, she does work two jobs, goes to college, and is involved in a couple school functions so its quite possibly the truth). Out of the 10 or so times we've talked on the phone shes only been the one to call me once, but when we talk we talk for like a half hour, sometimes longer.

    What I can't figure out is that is she wanting for me to chase her, or is she just not interested? Given that we always have quality conversations when we call each other and her body language when we meet in person I would assume she holds interest in me, but then on the other hand she rarely is the one to initiate the calling and though she always sounds interested in doing things she also is always unclear on her schedule (Which, like I said, could be legitimate).

    What do you guys think?

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jul 2004
    Location
    In front of this screen.
    Posts
    1,501
    You haven't asked a question other than "What do you guys think?"

    What is it exactly you want to know? That this back and forth thing you got going here is pathetic? That it's sad you need me to tell you that she doesn't really seem to want to do something with you, and you are chasing after a girl who isn't reciprocating your efforts?

    That you need to just forget about this “thing” with her and find someone who will actually return some of your efforts?

    I was hoping to get some advice on this relationship Ive been hoping to get going for a while now.
    Here’s the advice: Actually do something for a change. Just ****ing ask her straight up: “Would you be interested in dating? Is this thing between us going anywhere, or are we just friends?”

    Just friggin do it already. This BS “let’s play footsies” will go on for the next year until finally she flat out tells you to leave her alone.

    Take a stand, or suffer with this pathetic sad bullshit for a longass time. Your choice.

    You either put up with wondering and pondering and being a little chicken shit for the rest of your life, or you stop and say “What am I afraid of?” and actually do something about it for a change.

    Is it really so hard? What exactly are you afraid of?
    ---------------------------------------------------------

    ---------------------------------------------------------

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Nov 2004
    Location
    UK
    Posts
    287
    Totally agree with cyborg (again lol ) you have nothing to lose other than outright ask her if shes interested. It mite be nerve-racking but just do it before you realise youve wasted a year of your life and plenty of other good opportunitys waiting for someone who just likes male attention. good luck -x-
    ******* 7 Times World Champion Michael Schumacher - the ultimate sporting hero *******

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