Damn how much am I expected to take?

[squirrley]

Kyle calls me today, "mom we have a problem?" Im thinking here we freaking go. What kyle "Someone stole 450 dollars out of my room lastnight." WHAT THE HELL!!!" That was his car payment which is in MY NAME! Its been clarified his so called Bobby stole his ATM card last week. Hes the only one who has access to our place freely. Geezuz kyle, you HAVE to do something NOW, this is in my credit.

I cant take another minute of this ****ing bullshit. Im running away and moving out next week. How much more am I suppose to put up with already? Something is damn fishy. bobby says oh I didnt take it, but yet today hes out blowing several hundreds of dollars and has been kind of enough to borrow kyle the money, WTF?

Im out of here next week. Im going home to husband where there is stability. Gawd such bullshit with teenagers with no respect or responsiblty. Screw it all.

[vashti]

Why is your name on his car? I would fix that if I were you... He doesn't sound like he's had much of a history of being reliable.

[squirrley]

He cant get a loan on his own, no credit at 18. As soon as he goes active he can, but in the meantime Im sitting shitting my pants daily. It was my mistake for doing it in the first place. But I was so vulnerable while he was gone and couldnt wait for him to come home and did it. Hes tried at every bank to get the loan but no go. Im running around with severe liablity every time he drives. Im encouraging him to go NOW. But he's scared and I understand that, but its for the best Kyle! Ive done it all for you and its time for him to take up and take the responsbilty!

[Gigabitch]

Beat him. With a shoe. Or a hairbrush.

[IndiReloaded]

Tell him to figure out how to make that payment or the car gets sold & the loan repaid. You trusted him & he's blown your trust.

You're not helping him to learn responsibility for $ by helping him, you know. You're on a major trip here, Squirt. A Big Guilt Trip. Stop it.

[misombra]

get him a bus pass.

him in that car is a huge liability for you, and i'm sure it's causing stress and putting strain with you and your husband.

that is something that you have to fix for everybody's well being. maybe he won't like it but that's too bad. you're not gonna like when the car note doesn't get paid.

could it be that he just said that to get you to make the payment for him? what is he spending his money on?

[Junket]

Tell your son he's a pussy.

[vashti]

He won't need the car in the military, anyway. Maybe being without transportation will give him the motivation he needs to get his shit together.

[Charlie Boy II]

I reckon you like playing the role of the aggreived mother.

[squirrley]

We bought a nice 03 the day after he came home from bc. I felt this overwhelming thing of just wanting to spoil his ass, well he was paying for it but the loan in my name. 2 weeks later the clutch went, we brought it to hyndua because it still had a warranty, no go, 3 weeks before WE bought the car it was replaced. WHAT! So we traded it in and lost 4 grand right off the bat.

I had a sneaky suspension the night before something was up. I told him lastnight I wasnt paying for it, nor was anyone else going to bail him out anylonger, get a second job. But now all of the sudden Bobby has the money to borrow him. Hmm hmmm, sob took it. The car is the last thing I have over him. Im moving out next week and hopefully that gives him the kick in the ass to leave sooner rather than later.

[squirrley]

I just want to say one other thing. Some of you guys know Ive been a single parent until last year when I got married. Kyles father had nothing to do with him. That still hurts him. So all of these years my family and myself have overcompensated. Now Im paying for it. Here all along I truly have felt Ive done the best thing for him or at least tried. I feel like a failure as a mom because he's made the decisions he's made and Ive contributed to it, I admit it. But he's old enough and has been taught right from wrong. Ive talked to so many parents and single parents, and have found that you can do EVERYTHING for your child you believe is the best, and raise them with every ounce of love and the minute they turn 18 it seems like everything you've spent those 18 yrs doing just comes undone.

I admit Ive spoiled Kyle, and have brought some of this crap on myself, because Ive bailed him out of things, financially. I wont do it anymore. And neither is my family. I truly felt when he left for BC he had changed and grown up. Now he's afraid of to leave and this is why he's postponing it.

I'm just overwhelmed at the daily BS that goes on his life. I have to cut that umblical chord and let him go. This is one reason just after he was 3 yrs old I KNEW I didnt want anymore children. Its hard being a single parent. I wouldnt raise another child today. My husband and I agree. No can do.

My mom says when Kyle turns 30 he realize just what Ive done for him and thats when I MIGHT see the appreciation come from him. Gawd that long mom?

anyway, just me venting this morning and I know I can always do that in here. Thank you for listening!! And for your input!!!

[vashti]

I sympathize, squirrley. It isn't always easy to see what the "right" thing is to do for our kids, and it is really hard to take a tough stance sometimes. Cutting him off the cord seems like the right thing to do at this point. Hang in there, he'll grow up eventually.

[Illusional]

you know what i drove when i was 18?? i $500 nissan sentra that was held together with paint and rust. one of those 450 dollar payments would be more than enough for him.

stop spoiling him already.

raverboy

[Gigabitch]

You know who is really going to benefit from you untying the apron strings? Kyle's future girlfriends and someday, his wife.

The mother of your grandchildren deserves a good man. Help her by making him responsible for his own shit.

[IndiReloaded]

You know who is really going to benefit from you untying the apron strings? Kyle's future girlfriends and someday, his wife.

I was just thinking this. And Squirrley, I know that parental Guilt Boot stomps down on us pretty hard but know what? YOU were there for him, did the best you could. If anyone failed it was his absent father, not you.

It may take Kyle years to figure this out, maybe not until he has kids of his own, but I'm sure he'll get there eventually. But its his path to walk, however much you'd like to do it for him.