Helppppp with hard break up

[Amanduhh]

Okay well last Monday me and my boyfriend of over a year broke up. We had a baby together 2 months go. Well I have horrible PPD and for the past month all we did was fight, i horrible to him and Monday it got worse, I let my anger get the best of me and hit him. He told me it was over for good but I miss him so much and ive learned to control myself, of course he doesn't believe it and I don't blame him. I know he loves and misses me. My family has been trying to help me convince him to please try and talk to me about it. Finally yesterday he texted me with me texting him and asked how I was doing. Then we joked around for a bit and he went back to work. An hour later I told him I missed him then he says "we're not going to be able to be friends right bow huh?" i said "yea we can. I just wanted to tell you that I missed you. Do you miss me at all?" he says "yes I do, that's why I texted you". We talk for a while then tells me just because we're friends doesn't change anything. So I ask of there was another chance for us in the future. He said maybe but as of right now he doesn't see it. (ugh).
Well this morning I texted him and asked if he was over me so I can just move on cause it's not fair for me to sit here and just hurt to. He goes "yeah just move on, I'm sure you met someone last night, that's fine". I'm sure he did not mean that at all by the way it sounded. But the question is, what is he trying to do? It's like he wants me to hurt. He doesn't want to try again now yet he doesn't want me to get over him? I don't understand :/. I explained to him that I'm changing and I want to to think about us again for a while and he never replied back :/.

Please no rude comments. I realize I'm wrong

[Spring Haze]

You've miraculously learned to control yourself less than a week later?

Well this morning I texted him and asked if he was over me so I can just move on cause it's not fair for me to sit here and just hurt to.

Asking where he stands in terms of feelings, and expecting -that- knowledge to somehow cure you of your pain makes no sense. It's clearly selfish reasoning. You've caused him enough harm, must you question him in hopes that YOU no longer hurt?

If you're not seeking out psychiatric help for your alleged PPD and rage, then it's time you should. Doing so will show that you truly want to change. Even if you two never reconcile, you have a child to raise.

[Amanduhh]

Of course not, I still have a lot to work on. Bit I know that I wil never do that again. I realize that's not okay at all and I've never been that type of person. I can't believe I hurt him so bad. He doesn't believe that people who abuse can change no matter what. But I want to prove to him that I can cause people can change. I haven't seen him since and I'm hoping when he does see me then he'll realize he misses me a lot. I know it's not an overnight thing and I have a lot to prove but I'm not giving up on something that I love

[Spring Haze]

Then don't give up, but don't pester him with questions. He needs time to collect his own thoughts. Just let him be. You two will still remain in contact, just try to allow him to be in control of that for now.

[98db]

Stay in contact and on his mind. If you have a child with him, you don't want to let him move on while things are still in limbo and both of you still miss each other. If either of you decides it is done than cut your losses.

[Janet82]

Being in such situation is not easy. I can feel how hard you feel about your case. I also believe you regret about what you did. However, things already happened, the best thing is to think about how to make it better.

Since you already have a child and you really want to be back. First, try not to be desperate. Although you really miss him very much. Don't try to call him very often, and don't try to ask him if you can get back together every time you two contact. You said the moment you hit him was out of control and you had never been like that. And now he doesn’t believe you can get yourself under control. If you keep calling him or text to him, that give him the message you are being desperate and there is no way for him to believe you are cool down now. Calm down and stop contacting him often. Limit your contact once a while and be brief. Once he sees you can actually get yourself under control he will see you in a new way and that is a very good sign of the second chance.

[devonbrown]

I agree with Spring Haze about the seeking of treatment. PPD can be very severe, and if you really think that is what acted as a catalyst for the fights, then him seeing you take ownership of that and try to correct it will mean a lot. Plus, you say you realize that it is not okay to hit someone, but I am sure you knew that before as well. It isn't a new thought, which I am sure he understands too.

His comment about you meeting someone last night sounds like he is sort of hurt and confused by you as well. It has only been a week and you are asking him to tell you definitively if you should move on? Especially after you two talked for a long time and had good conversations the day before when you were asking if there is a chance for the two of you? That would confuse most people, I think. So he probably said one of the first things that popped into his mind, not because he is trying to hurt you, but because he is hurting.

Slow down. Give it time. Take care of yourself. Take care of your child. If he wants to be a good father to his child, he will be around. No need to break the world records for ending and getting over a relationship.

Good luck.