Disgusted.

[bluesummer]

I've gained ten pounds this last year, and I hate myself for it. I can't look at myself in the mirror without feeling disgust. I mean, I haven't been rail-thin since I was 17, but still. I'm the heaviest I've ever been and I'm frustrated with myself.

I used to have motivation - tons of it. I went to the gym six days a week. I went for 5k runs at 6am before work. Now I can't convince myself to walk to the mailbox. I don't get it. I'm sure the fact I am in full time school now and have two jobs has SOMETHING to do with it, but I don't like excuses. I want to find out how to get my motivation back.

I cried about it last night because I'm at my wits end. My fiance (god love him) was really supportive and told me I was beautiful and he would never think otherwise. Then he asked what he could do to help me if I wanted his help. We agreed that from now on he will make sure I'm out of bed when he is - 7 am, and I will get straight up and go run the treadmill downstairs, every morning. I feel like if I have him holding me accountable, I will try harder.

Otherwise, I just wish I had something that would light that spark under my ass to get me going again. Anyone ever had this prob? If so, what did you do to fix it? I'm at a loss. Pretty depressed, too.

[Indignant]

what weight and height are we talking about? (i just want to make sure it's not just in your head)

[ecojeanne]

have you ever noticed guys never feel like this in general, it's just us women, i decided a long time ago that it wasn't about weight but about health. when i was younger i decided to go on a diet and lost loads of weight but when i reached the weight i wanted, i wasn't happy coz it was so much work and i didn't get to enjoy my food and tbh guys preferred me with a bit of weight on me - this i noticed coz guys stopped looking, i'm not kidding. so i immediately started eating again and focused on health. i did smart clothes shopping which involved plain outfits with fun accessories. i now have a huge wardrobe of clothes that are timeless and can be funkied up with accessories. don't seriously worry so much about your weight coz it means nothing unless you're unhealthy. think health not weight. a bulge here and there is attractive to men, curvy figures are in, sure look at byonce etc, they are not particularly thin. they are sexy women tho. focus on that

[misombra]

i have had that problem many times.

i took an aerobics class this semester and it really helped. being around all those other people who were in the same boat as me was a mood lifter.

[boobaa]

I've lost 4 kilos in 2 weeks.

[Indignant]

I'm sure the fact I am in full time school now and have two jobs has SOMETHING to do with it, but I don't like excuses. I want to find out how to get my motivation back.

i found an easy way to lose weight, everyday when i come home from work i have a light dinner/snack. and then an hour later i turn on my directv where i have pre-recorded FitTv and do some 30 min to an hour programs. they have a variety of things, i like Gilad, bellydancing, latin/afro dancing. made me feel a whole lot more feminine as well. i tried the whole gym routine but was tired to go anywhere after work, and this fits me so much better for now.

[vashti]

That's a pretty steep weight loss in 2 weeks booba, especially if you are of normal weight. Have you been sick?

Blue - your metabolism hits the wall when you approach 30. It sucks. As for me, I gained weight when I started nursing school, but I took it all off by walking to and from school instead of driving. It's about 50 minutes each way, and the terrain is hilly. My blood pressure has been better, too. Maybe you can try building some sort of walking into your everyday routine?

The bad thing about walking is that I go through an undeveloped canyon, and it isn't unusual to see a coyote now and then. This week, there was a pack of 4. Packs of dogs scare me.

[Indignant]

As for me, I gained weight when I started nursing school, but I took it all off by walking to and from school instead of driving. It's about 50 minutes each way, and the terrain is hilly. My blood pressure has been better, too. Maybe you can try building some sort of walking into your everyday routine?

The bad thing about walking is that I go through an undeveloped canyon, and it isn't unusual to see a coyote now and then. This week, there was a pack of 4. Packs of dogs scare me.

are you still in school?

[vashti]

My final exam is next Tuesday, and I am done.

[Indignant]

My final exam is next Tuesday, and I am done.

any plans on where you'd be working?

[vashti]

Yes, I already have a job that I start on the 26th. It's on a cardiac floor.

[Indignant]

Cedars i hope?

[vashti]

I'm not saying (privacy), but it's not Cedar's. My friend took a job in their NICU, though.

[Indignant]

yeah, i got a ton of friends at Cedars. we have a homecare agency, surgery center and about to open a hospice care. (not I, company I work for) we are also looking for a Korean speaking nurse at this time. all in Beverly Hills.

[lovesjoyajm]

Blue, I know what you're going through. I've put on some weight since I moved here, and although the IDEA of exercising and eating right appeals to me, I can't actually get myself to do it. It's SO MISERABLE outside and will be until about May, I'm guessing, so the idea of going outside and running is just hellish... I like swimming but I can't do anything but the dog paddle... and there's so much good food everywhere...