First Time...

[mrquestion]

My girlfriend came over last night. We were just hanging out and we kind of get into a tickle fight then from there the lips locked and things got heated. Clothes started to come off and she asked me if i had ever had sex, i said no... she said she hasnt either, but wants to and she knows it will hurt.. im just wondering if there is anything i can do for her sake? i know she is still willing but i thought i would see if i can do anything for her to make it not soo bad?

[luvtif]

don't worry about her so much. yeah it will hurt but its expected, theres no way around it, and its obviously worth it to her. every sexually active woman ever has had to endure it. and it might nit be so bad. its not for some. the first time may not be the greatest but it will be sweet and it can only get better from there.

[mrquestion]

don't worry about her so much. yeah it will hurt but its expected, theres no way around it, and its obviously worth it to her. every sexually active woman ever has had to endure it. and it might nit be so bad. its not for some. the first time may not be the greatest but it will be sweet and it can only get better from there.

Thanks for your advice, i guess if you really think about it, there isnt anything i can do heh.

[LucidDream]

I had heard about this somewhere elce, I cant remember much, just one thing.
The mind can only process a limited ammount of sensations at one time, and you can use that.

Try stroking her in more sensetive areas (above [closer to the brain] the area that hurts works best, which would mean above the crotch area [Im guessing thats sencitive anyway]).
And apparently nibbeling the ear lobe to the point where it almost hurts (its the lesser of the two evils I guess) works well.

I had actualy been told that the mind can only prosess a few sensations at once by a doctor when I had an operation, as a tip to help relive pain.
So I guess it might work here, I dont know. Depends how bad it hurts I guess.

Havnt exactly had the chance to put it into practice ya know? What I said was a mix of knowledge and asumptions.

Anyway, Hope that helps.

[Uncertain]

Just make sure you don't start humping her like an excited rabbit. Go very slowly.

You can also try the first penetration with you lying on your back and her sitting on top. Then she will be in control of the movement.

Also, don't be afraid to use lubricant (KY). Not all girls produce enough natural lubricant, and it could be worst if she is stressed. You never have enough lubrication anyway.

[Exodus]

there was a really good post on things you can do to get her ready. These are some of the basics. Do a lot of foreplay and make sure you work that area before you are ready to enter. You need to get her very relaxed when you are going to go at it. Otherwise she will hurt easier. DO NOT just rush in there and start going as fast as you can. It wil hurt her a lot. You will need to be gentle and please her orally first by getting her ready. It takes time but I'm sure you will both enjoy it and she will usually let you know when she is ready. If anyone knows of the link to that post pls put it here.. It was very informative about the situation. Oh and make sure to use a condom.

[daletom]

No, it doesn't have to hurt the first time.

1. Get comfortable with each others' orgasmic response. That means, learn to get each other off with hands, mouths, humping, heavy petting, etc. The stuff that's now sometimes called "outercourse". Hopefully you'll learn to pleasure, and appreciate, each others' bodies by doing this for several days, or several months, before attempting intercourse.
2. Allow lots of time together. Like, most of a day - or all night - as a minimum. A whole weekend together is better. Use the "together time" to work up to the "undressed time".
3. Get some privacy. Nobody else in the house. Or rent a room - some downtown hotels that host mostly business travelers have bargain weekend packages that include a room, some meals, and often tickets to things like sports events, concerts, etc.
4. When the time is near - start by giving each other an orgasm. You need it to slow down your response, and to get the patience you'll need to be gentle. She can use her mouth or hands on you, or you can rub against her ("dry humping") or excuse yourself to the bathroom for a few minutes . . . You'll know this is going to happen, so cooperate with her. Then bring her to orgasm, again with your hands or mouth. This may take a while, and you'll be getting hard again while it happens. She needs it to guarantee that she'll be as open, lubricated, and relaxed as she'll ever be.
5. As her contractions subside - position her on top and let her guide you in. She needs the freedom of movement to get the positioning and angles just right for her. You can't feel what she's feeling, so let her adjust things until it feels right to her. It's not a matter of control so much as she's the one who's best able to make it work right.
6. Once inside, you probably won't last long.
7. In the moments and minutes afterwards, be very open and sensitive to each other. You will both probably be more emotionally naked than any other time in your lives. You have the potential to do real emotional harm to each other, or yourselves. It's impossible to say how EITHER of you will feel - you may want to cuddle naked forever, or cover up and ask him/her to leave until you're dressed; you may be sobbing or laughing giddy; you may need time together or time alone.
8. Do something together - take a walk; watch a movie; go out for desert. Talk about what you did or felt if you'd like - and let him/her talk or not as it seems best.
9. Do it again when you're ready. Physiologically, it should be much better. Emotionally, I hope it's much different.

[daletom]

That was recently discussed in this forum at [URL=http://www.loveforum.net/showthread.php?p=35618#post35618]Your First Time[/URL] and also at [URL=http://www.loveforum.net/showthread.php?p=35691#post35618]More First Time[/URL]

If I recall the reputable studies I've seen, around 2/3 to 3/4 of women experience some discomfort the first time, but less than 1/4 describe it as truly "painful". 5% or less find it so painful that they either stop and try another time, or wish they had stopped. Some researchers believe most of the discomfort comes from the guy's erection forcing the vagina to stretch and expand rather than breaking the hymen. (Ask a recent mother what it was like the first time she had sex after delivering a baby and abstaining for a month or two. My wife said that re-opening her love sheath was nearly as uncomfortable as her very first time. She was glad she'd learned how to relax, and to enjoy sex, by then.) Many also believe that the prevalence of the "blood, sweat and tears" stories you've heard create self-fulfilling expectations in some girls' minds.

I think it's also around 1/3 to 1/2 of all women who bleed the first time, and much of that is hardly noticeable. Something that's seldom mentioned is that around 5% - 10% of GUYS have pain or discomfort their first time. This seems to be mostly from geometry or overeagerness - forcing a sensitive organ into the wrong place, at the wrong angle, too fast, etc.

Go to another site - join it (it's FREE, NOT commercial, & they will NOT spam you!!) - and read the following thread:
[URL=http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t42296/]First-time sex advice[/URL]
Check out all the links in the posts, too.

[sfalexi]

Awww! So cute!!!!

Maybe she's popped her own cherry by now. If not, she can masterbate with a dildo or something and break her own hymen. It'll help keep you from hurting her when the time comes.

Rod Steele

[LucidDream]

I think most girls would probaly consider that as too much of a big step if it doesnt have any fealing behind it.
Cant just "*pop* ok now Im ready!"

[mrquestion]

thanks everyone for all your advice... it is appreciated. im kind of nervous, but i guess thats normal hah.

[Exodus]

yes daletom, thats the article i was talking about hehe. Nice work. Yeah first times are nervous, the best thing i can say is make sure you have a secure area so you don't have to worry about anything besides each other. No need for daring sex areas on your first time, thats for later

[GBRaul]

Daring sex areas? Man... I say stick with the usual hole lol As if it weren't traumatising enough already

[Exodus]

eh, GBR, I meant areas as in where you are located at when you have your first time, in your house, in a hotel, in the car, in the park, etc etc etc... heh

[GBRaul]

LOL!!! Oops... my mind wanders in the wrong direction

Just do it at home... it's better when you have a lot of time to yourself and privacy isn't it?