I have posted her a few times dealing with the break-up. I basically broke up with her because of my depression, it started around may last year and gradually she started, or tried to get emotionally detached from me. I really hurt her so bad. I was the love of her life but with my depression I became indifferen to it all. I tried getting her back in november. She said she was bitter at me. She came down in february to see a changed me. I didnt quit deliver. She felt I didnt look at her and love her as much as she wanted. This turned into she breaking up with me. After some letters back and forth she mentioned she was dating, that she was depressed and worn out by this relationship at the moment. And endig the letter with "remember, who knows what the future brings. I will never close the door when it comes to you"

Three months had passed without much contact in the beginning. I got flowers on my birthday in april. Then she bumped into my mother in middle of may. She cried and they agreed on talking on the phone later. My mom couldnt get to her and she said it hurts so much. Im not able to talk to you. She ended up talking to my sister the day after. She ended up talking for an hour crying all the time and missed her plane. She said that she cant let go of me. That she dated one time and the thought of him touching her made her sick to the stomack. She said she never wants to be in a relationship again. She also said that if I should go back to me at this present time she thinks that I will not cope with her anger and bitterness and that she will tear me and the relationship appart. She also feels that Im in a hury, want to have children, want to marry. This is what she always wanted and now she is far away from that. The big issue between us was her dependancy towards me. As if she couldnt do things by herself.

I guess we need time apart. I txt her a week later and she responded to my mail. She was by herself and expressed that she felt better than in a long time. The sun was shining. She things I deserve the best. She has been sick and on/off work for 3 months. She wants to put everything that has happened behind her and in a strange way she can understand why I acted the way I did in the last year of the relationship. That I shouldnt feel as if I owe her something. The strange thing her is that it seems we both are convincing each other we are ok! I sent her a message back in which she responed to after 3 days. A bit funny. A fairly neutral responce that didnt gave me anything.

I only know that she has to get on her feet if this could ever work between us. That goes for me to. I truly feel that we have feelings for each other still ...but the way she got hurt by this realationship could be to much to bear in the end. She knows im the most faithful guy and I havent done anything to her. I just brought her down with me. I could write a lot more and I guess I dont expect an answer to this. Just needed to get this of my chest. Im really hurting over this