Is my husband starting to resent me for my friendship with my bff?

[LeahP]

My husband and i are a year married and our relationship started very quickly as we began dating late Nov 09 and i gave birth to our first child on Oct 31st 2010. I completely messed up on my BC and he hates wearing condoms. I am 26 and my husband is 33 and is a touring musician and our son & I go with him as much as we can, I tend not to go much when he is in Europe as i don't think its fair on my son. My best friend and i have known each other since we were 9yo and she is like a sister to me, We were both known for our wild ways back then and she is pretty much still the same. The first time she & my husband met they could not see eye to eye on anything, She kept 'joking' that i could have done much better than him and that he purposely got me pregnant just to keep me. She told me that she doesn't like him and that he is nothing i'd normally be attracted to, I do agree that he and i are complete opposites but i love him so much. My husband can come across as being standoffish but once you know him hes amazing.

He constantly tells me how much he can't stand her, how loud she is and he even put up a fight with me on having her as our sons godmother. Her and i hang out alot as im mostly gone with him for weeks on end so i don't see her much, when she comes by he gives me a p*ssedoff look. My husband is on the road alot and when he is home he likes to spend as much time as he can with my son & i alone, I have said this to her numerous times and she still invites herself over, When he asks me to 'get rid of her' i never feel like i can insult her, My husband says im a doormat for her. The other day when she was over so was my MIL and my hubby was with our son and my bff started to point out all the things he was 'doing wrong' with him and everything came to a head and she & my husband started shouting at each other, my MIL took our son, She started saying that he basically stole my youth, He told her to get the f*ck out and when i asked him to stop he just looked at me and walked out & said "f*ck both of you". That night we both apologized and he told me again that he cant bare the sight of her, That he doesn't want her in the house when he is there or have her anywhere near him or our son. I feel like im caught in the middle, What do i do?

[VincenzoG91]

Your friend sounds like an immature jerk. You have probably outgrown quite a few things since you were nine years old, and your friend should be one of them. Or you can let her continue to insult your husband and your marriage. I've got a few close friends that I've known since I was in grade school, and I still keep in touch with them. But I don't let them tell me what to do, and I wouldn't tolerate them insulting my family. Tell your friend to grow up or get lost.

[bcgirl]

This is so similar to the relationship one of my good friends has with her best friend since childhood. Lets call her Y...she is a people pleaser and very selfless person who is happily newly married. Her best friend lets call her X is a selfish loudmouth drama queen. Y's husband can't stand X. X will usually make snarky remarks about Y's husband. But it's probably because X is jealous (she is going through a separation from her own husband and probably doesn't want to see others happily married). Ultimately u need to tell your best friend that she better respect your husband and the father of your baby, or else your friendship is over. It is harsh but your marriage and your sons upbringing is of utmost importance. I hope u at least get along with your in-laws

[Wakeup]

This is your husband you're NOT backing up when your so called friend disses him. It's your duty to tell her to stfu if she can't be civil to the man you love and married. I'm surprised you didn't intinctively tell her that on your own.

What do you do you ask: Your husband has told you what he'd like you to do here:

he told me again that he cant bare the sight of her, That he doesn't want her in the house when he is there or have her anywhere near him or our son.

So: You tell him that you will make sure that she's not there when he is but, he can't expect to boss you around like he is your father so you will compromise by keeping her away when he is there but you'll be being her friend, as usual when he is not. Then you go to your friend and you tell her that if she wants to continue to be your friend then she will quit disrespecting your husband and your marriage and to start being a friend rather than making herself a family enemy.

[InYourFACE]

I think you are stupid and part of the drama.

You are married and have a son so your first responsibility in now with your husband and son.

And your friends need to understand that if they respect you.

Often i see friends get to involve in each others life's. while they cant fill the need of a husband.
so you need both. friends and husband and your family for a healthy life.

But both need to know their place.
Often friends and family see more then you. Like if the guy is a bad or good one.
cause you being in love dont see the real thing sometimes.

But i think you are grown so if your husband is a piece of shit, and they told you once what they see
and you choose to still be with him they need to leave you in your own world.
let you bunk your head.

I think even thou your friend may be right, she need to have some kind of
respect for at least you!
and at least she have to stop coming by when your husband wants to spent
time with you guys alone.
Cause if your friend keeps coming when he wants to be with you guys, while she knows
that you dont want her there at that time,
i can only think that she want to start drama in your life and do it with premeditation
and that is really wrong.
If you have drama it shouldn't be drama that people that comes in your house started it.
cause then you need to keep them out.

and i smell some maybe jealousy beside that , like she thinks cause of him,she cant get all of your attention
and go out all the way.

so you need to draw a line, stop open the door and let her in when you tell her not to come.
tell her how it is. that she dont have to be friends with your husband, but
she needs to respect you and your house.
and your husband needs to have some respect 2. cause at the end he is
the one that entered your world 2, so he cant
come in and speak like a pig to everyone and drive everyone away from you.
cause when things go wrong ,or he is on the road,or maybe divorce comes along you will stand alone
if you or him drive everyone away cause of him you will be on your own.

You need to stand your ground. otherwise others will run your life for you. and you will find yourself
in situations that you dont want to be in.

[surfhb]

I think you are stupid and part of the drama.

You are married and have a son so your first responsibility in now with your husband and son.

And your friends need to understand that if they respect you.

Often i see friends get to involve in each others life's. while they cant fill the need of a husband.
so you need both. friends and husband and your family for a healthy life.

But both need to know their place.
Often friends and family see more then you. Like if the guy is a bad or good one.
cause you being in love dont see the real thing sometimes.

But i think you are grown so if your husband is a piece of shit, and they told you once what they see
and you choose to still be with him they need to leave you in your own world.
let you bunk your head.

I think even thou your friend may be right, she need to have some kind of
respect for at least you!
and at least she have to stop coming by when your husband wants to spent
time with you guys alone.
Cause if your friend keeps coming when he wants to be with you guys, while she knows
that you dont want her there at that time,
i can only think that she want to start drama in your life and do it with premeditation
and that is really wrong.
If you have drama it shouldn't be drama that people that comes in your house started it.
cause then you need to keep them out.

and i smell some maybe jealousy beside that , like she thinks cause of him,she cant get all of your attention
and go out all the way.

so you need to draw a line, stop open the door and let her in when you tell her not to come.
tell her how it is. that she dont have to be friends with your husband, but
she needs to respect you and your house.
and your husband needs to have some respect 2. cause at the end he is
the one that entered your world 2, so he cant
come in and speak like a pig to everyone and drive everyone away from you.
cause when things go wrong ,or he is on the road,or maybe divorce comes along you will stand alone
if you or him drive everyone away cause of him you will be on your own.

You need to stand your ground. otherwise others will run your life for you. and you will find yourself
in situations that you dont want to be in.

you really give this site a bad name

[InYourFACE]

you get the names you diseve and those are ****ed up judge mental, retarded, whore faggot piece of shit.
if you cant deal or understand knowledge stay away from it empty head.

[InYourFACE]

take your drama to your momma!

[BackUpOrGetStng]

Leah, you are a doormat for your friend. If she invites herself over, you can say no, but you don't. Stop having her over when your husband is in town. Dummy.