Is this normal? She has trouble communciating her feelings...

[struckby]

We have been dating a month and a half. For the last two and a half weeks we haven't seen each other since we are both on break at university. We are basically unofficially official is kinda how I would describe it..we both have told each other that we like each other. Recently, she sent me an email that said really nice and sweet things and that she has trouble communicating her feelings.

Recently I started texting her really sweet and nice things but she rarely responds back the same way. So I asked her in a text if I was making her uncomfortable or anything and she said that she loved my texts but didn't know how to respond. To me, it would seem obvious how to respond but since she said she has trouble communicating how she feels I am really not sure.

Are any of you like this? Can you please give me some insight?

She is interested, but I just am unsure how much sometimes..

[little pingoin]

It is normal. Some people aren't very good at communicating and even worse at communicating what they're feeling.

She has said you don't make her uncomfortable so feel free to keep being the sensitive guy you are. As for her, you have to learn to accept that this is who she is. If you crave someone to give you reassurance, she probably will not be the person for you long-term.

[markokrim]

Right. Some people simply doesn't know how to express their emotions and usually they can hurt others unknowing. julietswall.com

[Raze]

I read somewhere that usually girls are better at voicing emotions than guys. I'll try to find it.

Ok, I think I found an interesting read for you that might help. I'm just going to copy and paste the interesting sections.


-For the first time -- and in unambiguous findings -- researchers from Northwestern University and the University of Haifa show both that areas of the brain associated with language work harder in girls than in boys during language tasks, and that boys and girls rely on different parts of the brain when performing these tasks.

-Using functional magnetic resonance imaging (fMRI), the researchers measured brain activity in 31 boys and in 31 girls aged 9 to 15 as they performed spelling and writing language tasks.

-The researchers found that girls still showed significantly greater activation in language areas of the brain than boys.

-If the pattern of females relying on an abstract language network and of males relying on sensory areas of the brain extends into adulthood -- a still unresolved question -- it could explain why women often provide more context and abstract representation than men.

-Ask a woman for directions and you may hear something like: "Turn left on Main Street, go one block past the drug store, and then turn right, where there's a flower shop on one corner and a cafe across the street."


Ok, so basically from this, I'm getting that women are better at abstract thought than men.

But, everyone's different, so I can't really say it's abnormal, but usually women are better at expressing emotion.

[Sienna]

I am just like your girl. It cost me a very long term relationship. I needed someone who could see the subtle ways I showed my feelings, he needed to be hit over the head with emotions to feel wanted, needed and accepted. I loved him dearly, probably still do. I just was unable to give him what he needed. If you truly love her, and want it to work you will need to understand that she will show her feelings in other ways. Think of all that she does, rather than what she says. There are just people who show emotion in deed, rather than in words. It does not mean that their feelings are not as deep, or as strong. Ask her to maybe write you a letter. I was able to put my feelings on paper

[Sienna]

She was able to tell you in the e-mail, because she had time to process. Thank her for telling you, eve though it was not in person. Look for the subtle ways she shows whe cares. For example, he hated to stay long at social functions. I would notice when he wanted to go by the way he would stand, reach into his pocket for keys and shift on his fee. Then I would make the exit for us. On Sunday mornings, I knew he liked to get his work done (teacher) I would busy myself, and let him finish. When we went for road trips, I would pack his favorite snacks. I would check in in his Aunt who lived closer to me. When he had time planned with friends, I would tell him so have fun, and send him off to play worry free. I just wanted him to be happy. There are things a girs DOES, only when she cares for someone. Don't change who you are. Pick up her hand when you want, tell her all the sweet things you want. Just know that she returns those feelings in different ways. Open your eyes, look a bit more closely to see if she shows you her caring side. If that is there, as I do feel it is... its up to you to decide if its enough. There is no normal way of communicating feelings, we just all do it differently. It just seems like women are usually more verbal than men, there is an exception to every rule. Hope this makes sense??!!

[Sienna]

PS I also had trouble with the texting, as I felt on the spot.

[Yggdrasil]

A lot of people have trouble communicating their feelings. That's because nobody ever taught them how to do so.

There are courses one can follow which will teach one how to communicate effectively.

[yokosrei]

I can honestly say that I am the same way as the girl you are interested in. It's kind of a self-defense mechanism to protect herself emotionally. I'm quite sure she likes you and you'll just have to continue to be patient and gain her trust. She'll steadily grow to be more open. It'll take a while though. And it would be great if I could get your opinion on a situation of mine...

[Raze]

I can honestly say that I am the same way as the girl you are interested in. It's kind of a self-defense mechanism to protect herself emotionally. I'm quite sure she likes you and you'll just have to continue to be patient and gain her trust. She'll steadily grow to be more open. It'll take a while though. And it would be great if I could get your opinion on a situation of mine...

Well, he did ask if it's normal. And the answer is that it's not normal. I'm not saying, it's bad. Just saying it's not normal.

[Aeradalia]

I do not express my emotions very well… though I do try, and it generally takes a lot of time. However, one thing that someone who cannot express how they feel does is rarely lie:

she sent me an email that said really nice and sweet things and that she has trouble communicating her feelings

So I asked her in a text if I was making her uncomfortable or anything and she said that she loved my texts but didn't know how to respond

she said she has trouble communicating how she feels I am really not sure.

Three times she has told you that she cannot express how she feels.

To me, it would seem obvious how to respond

Then help her to see the obvious… slowly teach her how to respond to your advances. If she has feelings for you, then she’ll want to express them, which in turn means she’ll want to learn how to express them. Be patient with her, and don’t criticize her inability to see the ‘obvious.’ In time, the feelings she has will show, once she learns how to let them show.

We have been dating a month and a half.

This relationship is still new, and you have plenty of time to learn how she feels.