My friend, My brother, Me...

[girl68]

You know my friend the mild eating disorder girl? Well like Katie Perry sometimes she's hot (meaning she'll eat a pathetically small childs portion of food and claim to be full) and other times she's cold (meaning she won't eat at all). Like a week ago she was hot. She ate, like nothing but for her anything is something. And then there was yesterday. She didn't eat lunch, wasn't fed dinner and when we all went out everyone ate but her. She wasn't hungry. Yeah. Issues, I know. Whatever. You know the scoop about her.

Anyways as of late her and my brother have been texting back and forth like maniacs. And I mean literally every 10 seconds his phone goes off. So she likes him. I guess. I have a problem with that. A few reasons:
-she's rich (while you might think great! It's not all good)
-her family is super rich and they ACT like it. (I mean snobby, won't say hi, won't even aknowledge regular folk)
-family puts INSANE pressure on their kids which as a friend have heard hours upon hours of "issues"
-OK back to HER
-obviously she has issues with the eating and staying skinny- see past thread
-she's generally boring
-thinks that everything that isn't brand name is cheap crappy junk
-is in love with a guy who refuses to love her (he's in HK and won't come here for her- she's hung up on this guy)

anyways: basically I think she's not good enough for my brother on top of the fact that they're so polar opposite. Brother is outgoing, wants to dance, drink, smoke, party, play sports... Friend is: "I'm tired" (always), won't dance, can't drink, always shops.

BAH- I suppose I should let them choose whomever they like. Right. But How do I accept this? Not to mention how weird the friendship is going to be. I know her quite well. I know her sex likes, dislikes, toys, fantasies all that fun girly stuff we talk about. NOW she's all up on my brothers dick and well yeah all I think is EWWWWWWWWWW, don't talk to me. That's how I feel if they hook up. My wall is going to be built and the friendship will be over (close sharing friendship that is).

Thoughts? Suggestions? Iunno maybe I'm just ranting. But whaever feels good!

[QueenofCorona]

Does your brother like her back at all?

If he does, say your piece but let them be. If he's got a pulse at all he'll figure her out real quick. Just sucks for you to be in this position, if infact it goes that far.

[girl68]

Blah! I don't know I think he might like her back... he's at least entertaining the idea.

[davidtorres]

stop being a c++k blocker. let your bro tap it! lol

[girl68]

thanks asshole.

[starbuck]

I think she's being a bad friend for moving in on your brother. If things go wrong, then it puts you in an even more awkward situation and like you said, it's weird.

Your friend has a poor sense of boundaries. I think you should tell her you don't like it.

[girl68]

Thanks Star.

So far it all points to I should talk to her about it? Hmm. I tried sort of asking her casually but she out right ignored me and changed the subject!

Grrrrrr!

[SirWagginston]

Why are you friends with this girl? Not to be rude, but she seems lame.

[all alone]

If her parents are as tough on her as you say, that may be the source of her eating disorder. Often times eating disorder's are caused by people who feel they have no control over their live (other people around them are very controlling, etc). They see their weight as something that they can control and therefore can lead to eating disorders to help 'satisfy' that need to have some element they can control on their own... Not saying that is the case, but I remember my former psychology teacher talking about the subject, could be an interesting thought to share.

As for your brother, if you think hes the type of guy that could get with this girl and not get hurt very easily, then I say let him do his thing and talk to your friend instead. If your brother has a tendency to get involved with girls then end up a mess, you should probably talk to him as well.

[vashti]

Is your brother aware of her complex psych issues? He WOULD be, if he were my brother.

[Incognito]

If you want to save your friendship and spare your brother a lot of drama and wasted time, just talk to him. Anyone who you are really close to, whether friend or family, will allow you to say your piece and take what you say to heart. I have told my brother truths that he may not have wanted to hear, but it was the best thing for him. Just tell your brother that she (the friend) has all these issues, her family is nuts, and [most importantly] that your conversation about it is confidential. If he is the bull headed type (like my brother) mention the fact that he can do what he chooses, and that what you said is simply sound advice from a caring sister. Hopefully the 'choice' will make him think about what you said without him feeling like your telling him what to do.

[thewhiterabbit]

I don't really have advice for you on the situation, but has anything else happened to make you think they like each other besides texting? I text my male friends constantly, even when there are no feelings involved. In fact, I'm in a situation right now where I had to tell a good friend of a guy friend I've been texting to go f*** himself for starting crap about me and my friend just because he's jealous that our friend doesn't text him (because they're always together) all the time!

[girl68]

Considering they JUST met I think texting 50 times a day is a lot. So yes, I believe that is at the very least a crush.

Well I asked her about it and she ignored me completely claiming she's busy "working". I plan to talk to my brother. I will always care more about him than my friend. As far as I'm concerned right now- she's nothing but toxic for me right now.

I'm going to tell him about a few of her issues and how I personally feel.

I wasn't planning to talk to my bf about it. Because he's all for this hookup. But he's mentioned a few times that I need to talk about what bugs me so I did. I told him My bro started dating a broad we both worked with and I had befriended. They hooked up behind my back and when I found out my friendship with the broad was done. It was a great relationship so it was certainly worth it for them but still. I lost a friend because as I said to my bf "I don't think 'sister-in-law' and friend go hand in hand." My bf claimed that they can. I said not to me, it's too weird.

I mean people do understand me right? I'm not crazy. THink in reverse. If it were me talking excessively with my bro's good friend who happens to be a little screwed in the head. Imagine that. My brother would have given me more than and earful and probably wouldn't like it all to much if we got together. So that's how I feel.

I feel good about getting to talk to my brother.

BLAHHHHHHHHHHhh end rant.

[thewhiterabbit]

Well, you may be right. I DO think you should talk to your brother if for no other reason than to warn him. I've dated a friend of my brother's and vice versa over the years. Didn't really make things awkward. In fact even his past girlfriends I didn't know before became some of my best friends, and my brother and I aren't even close.

Fyi, that friend I was talking to, I've known for about a month now, and we text 2 to 3 hours a day nonstop (every ten seconds or so). You do the math. Normal is all relative. You have more to talk about when you're getting to know each other than afterward.

I do say tell him. She probably won't and he should be able to make an informed decision.

[Gigabitch]

Ultimately, it's your brother who really matters. Are you worried he'll get hurt or just annoyed that the most neurotic girl in the world is blowing up his phone?