Need some support LF friends

[michelle23]

Hey guys I feel so lost right now. I got laid off from work just over a month ago. My whole life has changed and I am really struggling with this. I go from feeling depressed to angry to numb to exhausted. I am emotionally and mentally drained and feel close to breaking point.

I have applied to 600+ jobs. Got a few interviews but the jobs i was offered really did not make sense financially. Id spend all my wages on transport and be left with nothing.

Another company offered me a trial and then told me I am too ambitious for that job and would be unhappy there so I should apply for a trainee management position instead which I did and have an interview next week but right now I just dont feel confident. Im actually terrified coz this is the first interview i got for a job I REALLY want!

My mental health has been fragile for a long time. I was v depressed in my old job to the point that everyone was telling me to quit and then losing the new job was kinda the straw that broke the camels back. I feel so low and worthless right now.

And my family are p**sing me off big time. They offered me rented accomodation in my granddads old house which is only 200 cheaper than where i live now and they are acting like they are doing me a HUGE favor but i still cant afford it right now but it does help a little. And i asked them to clean stuff out (not sentimental stuff) just rubbish in the shed and some of the presses and they wont do it. I cant stand clutter or mess. It drives me crazy and i cant clear it myself coz i dont know what they want to keep.

I want to just run away-go to a different country, get a good job but i dont even know where to start looking.

I have a business idea that i think could work long term but i need a job in the meantime to survive. Also i think im gonna go back to college and finish my degree in business part time but again i need a job..

uh i keep telling myself this is a bad time of year, maybe january but im really scared

[dickriculous]

Ouch...sorry to hear about all this. Been there and done that, this all sounds eerily similar to what happened to me a few years back and I know it's hell. It actually prompted me to join the military - and believe me that is absolutely the last thing on earth I ever saw myself doing (or anyone I know saw me doing for that matter) up until the very moment I decided to do it. Of course, I came to find out that the job market in the military is only marginally better than it is in the civilian world over here (which is to say that it's shit). But I still got a decent job. Though I don't plan on being a lifer, instead I'm taking advantage of education benefits in order to get another degree and use my veteran's benefits to pursue my DPT (doctor of physical therapy) degree after I separate. Life is ok now, and the future looks bright (albeit a long road still ahead) despite the fact that I was down and damn near out just a few short years ago. I had to basically ransack my old life, turn everything inside out, abandon damn near all of my original plans and start over from the beginning to set sail in a new direction. It wasn't easy (still isn't, and I have a LOT of shit left to do before I'm where I want t be) but if you want things to turn around you find a way to make it happen regardless of what you have to do - you have to want it more than you want the comfort of being able to unwind after a hard day's work, more than you want the extra spending money to buy nice things, hell even more than you want sleep at times if it comes down to that, as it has for me many times. I mean, if that's what it takes then that's what it takes and if you want things to turn around badly enough you suck it up and do what it takes to turn things around.

Hope this upcoming interview works out for you. I have a friend back home who is HORRIBLE with interviews, had zero self confidence, was depressed, and he's also in the financial field which is one of the worst over here as far as job prospects go and he still managed to find himself something he can live with (after bombing a number of interviews but still...he eventually got something) so don't lose hope. I don't know what you're capable of so I'm not going to pretend that I know you're destined for greatness or something but by law of averages I think I can say pretty safely say that less capable people than you have made it plenty of times in the past and will continue to do so in the future.

[Rowen]

Hang in there, Michelle!

Why do things get bad? So our personal will is tested to show us we're strong enough to overcome anything. And you've clearly been through a lot; therefore, it has to get better, right, because whose life ever stays shit forever? No one's does... Life is ups and downs and twists and turns which will make you sick, but when you're feeling weak, just remember that it DOES get better.

If you have a business idea, map it out. Develop the plan for it while you try to get a job. And as far as the interview goes, they wouldn't have recommended that you go for had they felt you wouldn't be considered? And even if you don't get it, maybe they'll refer you to someone who CAN get you a job. There's a lot of networking in the business world, at least that I've seen with my mother, so there is definitely someone who wants to hire you. You have the experience and are obviously showing ambition. This interview could be your big break. But you'll never know if you don't try, so go for it! It can only get better.

I know that things are tough, and family can be very frustrating sometimes. But just remember that it gets better. Use it as motivation so you don't have to go to that shed where there is clutter. Map out your business idea, and don't let ANYONE stand in your way of your dream. If you think it has a shot, run with it. And this interview can only help you with it, should you get the job. And I have a good feeling that things will look up with it, so definitely go forth to the interview. You can do this!

When in doubt, think of all the bad times you've had in the past and how it always got better. Then look at now and remind yourself that if you were strong enough to get through everything in the past, the problems now are no match for you. I have faith in you. Don't give up just yet. *hugs tight*

If you ever need ANYTHING, I'm here for you. You're an awesome person, Michelle, and I'm really happy that I could talk to you on this forum!

[michelle23]

Thanks guys for your well thought out long replies means a lot. I do know what I am capable of and I know I have a lot of potential. My career is really important to me and if I got this job I am willing to work 80 hours a week or more.. I will put my heart and soul into it like I do with everything I do. I just don't know how to prove that to them in an interview.

I don't even know if I have enough experience. I was a shift manager for 2 years than a store manager for 3 years but it was a very small management position compared to this one. This one is HUGE and it could open soo many doors for me. I am 24 so if I get this, my career really is set for life and I want it so bad I can almost taste it.

I cant even sleep. Its 4am here and im up drinking coffee..

[michelle23]

About my business idea: I need a job first before I can start that coz I need a good computer and internet access which I don't have right now. I only have internet on my phone and my laptop is old and dying a slow death lol but I do have a long term plan. I'd probably need to build it up over a year or two before I start making money but I can see the potential.

I know this sounds kinda crazy and people are gonna think I am a freak but is it possible someone could have put a curse on me? This lady came into me at work like 4months ago and told me she is a tarot reader. She said she senses good karma off me and feels I am a good person. She then told me that I was planning to leave my current job which was true at the time and said she wishes me luck. She gave me a gift-said it was her ex bfs and shes getting rid of all his stuff.. i said i didnt want it but she forced me to take it. Its some sort of electronic thing for presentations..

anyway everything in my life has gone wrong since then. Its one thing after another. I rang my landlord to say we are leaving and then the washing machine broke 5 times, a tray in the fridge smashed, I sat on the bed to put on my shoes and the wood snapped.. and no im not heavy-i weigh like 81/2 stone..

[michelle23]

Oh i also bought tarot cards and decided to try and learn them like 3 months ago .

[BackUpOrGetStng]

Is there anything having to do with your idea that you can start on now, while you have all this free time? Designs, planning, etc?

[Rowen]

I will put my heart and soul into it like I do with everything I do. I just don't know how to prove that to them in an interview.

Just dress sharp with your most professional outfit and tell them exactly that- that your goal is to make sure no job is left unfinished.

As far as sleep, though, you need your rest! Please try to get in at least an hour!

I know this sounds kinda crazy and people are gonna think I am a freak but is it possible someone could have put a curse on me? This lady came into me at work like 4months ago and told me she is a tarot reader. She said she senses good karma off me and feels I am a good person. She then told me that I was planning to leave my current job which was true at the time and said she wishes me luck. She gave me a gift-said it was her ex bfs and shes getting rid of all his stuff.. i said i didnt want it but she forced me to take it. Its some sort of electronic thing for presentations..

anyway everything in my life has gone wrong since then. Its one thing after another. I rang my landlord to say we are leaving and then the washing machine broke 5 times, a tray in the fridge smashed, I sat on the bed to put on my shoes and the wood snapped.. and no im not heavy-i weigh like 81/2 stone..

As far as the plan goes, while you wait to get access to a computer and some internet, work out a little more how you'll execute it once you have what you need. It'll help you a lot.

And that's freaky that that happened. I suppose it is plausible to some degree based on the fact that it is from her ex-boyfriend. :S Did you try getting rid of the thing she gave you? Or have you tried that and it's stuck with you?

[Valixy]

Some great posts here, your replies included, Michele.

Transit periods are indeed difficult and so often things seem to get worse before they get better for some reason, especially when dealing with significant changes in life, but in a while, things do get better. Always :-)

I hope everyhting works out wonderfully for you very soon with your interview or other good opportunities that may appear and you'll find again your peace, joy and balance that you've always had.

[pcmaster]

This brings back nostalgy Michelle. Thats how you came to this forum year ago. Isnt this was your first topic about "interview nerves"?

http://www.loveforum.net/threads/780...terview-nerves

If you want my advice the I noticed that interviews are pretty much like dates. Just be likeable person like you always are. And make impresion that that you are serious worker.

You are so nervous because you want that job- you wnat to recieve and not sure you get what you want or not. If you would concentrate on giving that would make it so much easier.
Honour them with your CV and realise that just my being there you are giving the most valuable thing you have - your time. How can anyone could ask for more?

In the end of the day its not the only job in the world. Just go to it like a date. The same rules apply c(:

[hatesthis]

Sorry you are having a hard time, Michelle. Hope the new year of 2014 finds better things in store for you. Putting in 600 apps is a massive amount to not get anything back out of it. Not sure if you can be cursed by another, but you can definitely curse yourself with negativity, I've done it in the past. Have you ever thought about being a nanny? I have friends who do that, if you like kids it is a good job.

[Petit Papillon]

Don't start with the tarot bullshit.

I come from Poland, where (you might know it very well) many people left to work abroad. But that is what everybody should do if the labour market is insufficient. I know that Ireland is having some downturn at the moment, so maybe you should consider changing country? You want to study? That's not a problem. I study in Germany and believe me, many people study "fulltime" and work as well. And the prices are pretty fine in here.
I noticed recently that many Spaniards are coming to work in Germany. But still, many more are sticking in living there even though, there is barely work for everybody (or actually there is not enough work). It's really not a big deal to move abroad and work there. It might be hard at the beginning, but eventually you can have a nice life too. Why staying somewhere, where you cannot find anything. My bf is french and is lawyer and in his field of work, there was barely anything to find in France, so he got an opportunity to work in Spain and he left. But not many would do it. I understand that it might be hard to live somewhere else in another country, where you don't know people, language or even laws. But this is Europe today, you have to try.

[michelle23]

Backup: ya I can start planning it. I'm moving house right now so bad time but I am gonna start properly next week once I am more organised

Rowan: I still have it. Afraid to throw it away encase that makes me have the curse forever.. If I am cursed. Lol cant believe I am writing this haha but I cant think of another explanation

thanks valixy

pcm: Im not scared of interviews anymore. My last 3 went amazing its just this one is v important

hatethis: my bf thought it would be a good idea to look after kids and i do have a diploma in childcare and I like kids, im good with them but uh.. snots, accidents, dirt, sticky.. young kids are hard work. Think ill wait to have my own for all that mess.. lol

petit: i cant really relocate with no money. At least here i am getting some government benefits till i get back on my feet and its only been 5weeks. Ill wait till the new year to make drastic decisions but thank you

[dickriculous]

I know this sounds kinda crazy and people are gonna think I am a freak but is it possible someone could have put a curse on me? This lady came into me at work like 4months ago and told me she is a tarot reader. She said she senses good karma off me and feels I am a good person. She then told me that I was planning to leave my current job which was true at the time and said she wishes me luck. She gave me a gift-said it was her ex bfs and shes getting rid of all his stuff.. i said i didnt want it but she forced me to take it. Its some sort of electronic thing for presentations..

anyway everything in my life has gone wrong since then.

Right...this is the part where I back away out of the thread slowly without ever taking my eyes off of you or turning my back until I am completely out of sight



Edit: I'm just ballbusting, in case that's not obvious

[HeartIsAching]

Michelle I've been in your situation, and it really really sucks. The worst part is that it's self-perpetuating. You lost your job and it made you feel worthless, which makes you depressed, which makes you less likely to find a good job and every unanswered application or job you don't get offered makes it worse. Trust me I know it's a horrible spiral.

Listen to this often:



and remember that a job interview isn't really about what you know, or what you can do, it's a popularity contest. Turn on the charm.

You can do it.