Do you just stop telling your bf or gf that you love them?

[butterfly712]

I have been with my bf for 5 months,we have a long distance relationship,he has stopped telling me he loves me,I asked him why he stopped telling me that he loves me he told me not to worry about it and that he loves me,but yet he still hasen't said it still.

[pcmaster]

Maybe hes just lazy thats why. I am the same way. Would say it few times and then stop cause these words are not so effective if you use them often, kinda it loses its meaning. Where the silence is its his love.

[basilandthyme]

Yeah, could be laziness. But I'm guessing that due to the distance, he's not feeling it anymore. Or perhaps he's got interest in someone local to him.

How often do the two of you see each other? And what are your plans for living near each other?

[Wakeup]

Do you tell him you love him and he doesn't respond at all?

[basilandthyme]

^^ good question Wakeup

[butterfly712]

Do you tell him you love him and he doesn't respond at all?

yes,that's exactly what he does,when I tell him that I love him.

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Yeah, could be laziness. But I'm guessing that due to the distance, he's not feeling it anymore. Or perhaps he's got interest in someone local to him.

How often do the two of you see each other? And what are your plans for living near each other?

he comes when he can,depending on when he can get 2 days off,he's going to be moving to Michigan,his work is relocating him there,he will be working full time,I thought he wanted me to come with him.

[Wakeup]

I think he's not responding because he doesn't want a long distance relationship and would more likely then not, want to get a girlfriend where he lives. He's probably stopped telling you he loves you because he's emotionally distancing himself before he leaves to go live where he got a job.

Sorry. I'm sure that's not what you wanted to hear but its a likely scenario. Only he can really tell you why but I'm sure you know something is up since his moving was basically kept a secret from you according to your post in another thread.

Find someone where you live and don't put your hopes on moving in with someone when you've only known them for five months. Moving and moving in with someone that early on would have been a huge mistake you would have been making.

[butterfly712]

I think he's not responding because he doesn't want a long distance relationship and would more likely then not, want to get a girlfriend where he lives. He's probably stopped telling you he loves you because he's emotionally distancing himself before he leaves to go live where he got a job.

Sorry. I'm sure that's not what you wanted to hear but its a likely scenario. Only he can really tell you why but I'm sure you know something is up since his moving was basically kept a secret from you according to your post in another thread.

Find someone where you live and don't put your hopes on moving in with someone when you've only known them for five months. Moving and moving in with someone that early on would have been a huge mistake you would have been making.

yes,it would have been a huge mistake,I understand that,but I have known him all my life,not just for 5 months.

[Wakeup]

Knowing someone and attempting to see if they will make a good romantic lifemate are two completely different dynamics. If I were to convert a friendship into something of a romantic nature then I certainly wouldn't move in with them within a 5 month period of getting to actually know them romantically. It takes a longer period of time then less then half a year of dating to figure out who you're doing is compatible enough with you sexually, romantically, financially etc which wouldn't be known during anything platonic.

Anyway, the bottom line is he didn't value you enough to even tell you that he got a job that would require him to move and he didn't take your consideration into that at all. That's not conducive of someone who wants you to move in with them anytime soon. I'm sorry.

[breathe123]

Most people would say it at end of phone talks or even texts or if LDR skype talks. Stop telling him it until he shares his feelings of love back to you, see if he wonders too like you did, then discuss it again.

Only people I know who stop saying it are people not feeling it anymore & don't want to make that promise anymore, have a big face to face about it, even if on Skype.

[basilandthyme]

My husband doesn't return the "I love you" when he's at work. However, he doesn't hesitate if we're at home. I'd be very dubious about his love if he couldn't return the sentiment when he's alone.

With this in mind, I'd look at the context of who's around your bf when you say "I love you".

[butterfly712]

He said I love you to me last night.

[Wakeup]

He said I love you to me last night.

Well, that's all fine and dandy but words without actions to back them up are just words, so keep that in mind as you remember that he didn't include you in on the fact that he moved somewhere without telling you or seeing what you thought of perhaps living there one day.

[woody]

"I love You" are three precious words that have become waaay overused and with this, they lose some meaning if said every time or too often.

Perhaps your man is old school in that the words will not be pushed or cornered into and when he does say them, they are truly and genuinely meant

[TheEvilJester]

You know, I've seen two schools of thought on the whole "I love you" thing. YES, they can, for sure, be over-used. At the same time, though, I do not think it is something a couple should ever stop saying. Those words, used properly, can mean the world to somebody. I do agree they shouldn't be over-used. At the same time, though, I feel like a truly loving couple should say them to each other on a fairly regular basis.

To me, if the concern is they lose meaning, I think that kind of misses the point. Honestly, it isn't so hard to make them have more meaning. There is a difference between the typical daily "I love you" as you leave for work or whatever, and a more meaningful, stop, look deep into their eyes, put your hand on their arm and say "I love you." Not too hard to put some true feeling into it now and then and MAKE it mean something.

I think too many people lose sight of the power those words can have. That can just be nice to hear now and then. Of course, at the same time, just because somebody doesn't always say it doesn't necessarily mean they don't mean it. A lot of folks just aren't all that open about that stuff. He may just feel he doesn't always need to say it because instead he wants to SHOW it. In reality, that is much more important than the words. So, it certainly would be nice if he'd say it sometimes, but if he at least does make the effort to show it, then I wouldn't worry quite so much. My ex used to say it all the time, but after a while the words lost their meaning because she didn't show it. She could say it until she was blue in the face, but she never showed me any respect or appreciation in the slightest, and your lovely words don't mean horse manure when you don't prove it. I am much better off without her, as would be anybody in a situation like that.

If he literally NEVER says it, then I would maybe take some issue with it if I were you. Maybe that is just me. If he does SHOW it, though, I think that is more important. Still, again, those words are nice to hear now and then. I think all couples should make the effort at least to say them from time to time.