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Thread: Confused about new relationship

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    Gender
    Male
    Location
    Norwich
    Posts
    8

    Confused about new relationship

    Hi there,

    I've been with my new girlfriend for about 2 months now. When we had our first argument a couple of weeks ago and hence didn't see each other for a few days, I was missing her really bad. I really do like her a lot. However...I think I still have feelings for my ex girlfriend (we broke up last June) as well and they always seem to get into my way. My new gf is just an absolutely wonderful person. We get along very well, hardly argue etc. (as opposed to my ex who I kept having arguments with, who broke up because she didn't feel she had the time for a relationship and who only gets in touch with me these days because she's being nosy).

    I just don't know why I still have such strong feelings for my ex and why I still don't seem to be over her. When I got together with my gf, I thought I was over her. But now that it's been almost exactly a year that I met my ex for the first time, I seem to get all nostalgic. That is just so crazy! I don't know what to do about it. I'm worried about it cuz it also affects the way in which I treat my gf. The weird thing about me is that I never know how much I actually love somebody until we break up. I'm a bit numb when it comes to these kinda feelings. I'm a bit anxious that my old feelings will affect my behaviour so negatively as to ruining my current relationship.

    I know, I love my gf but I also know that I got feelings for my ex (or maybe I only think I do because I overidealise my ex, as I always tend to do?). I'm very confused atm. The other thing is that we will be moving in together soon. We both live in a flat share and both our flat mates will be moving out soon which was rather short-notice so we're kinda taking advantage of the situation by moving together. If we didn't move together she'd have to find somebody new within 4 weeks and I would probably have difficulty finding a new flat because I live in a very popular city with a huge university. Comsequently, "student-friendly" appartments are kinda scarce at the moment with the new semester beginning in april.

    What are your thoughts on this? Do you think it's ok for me to move in together with her when I still got feelings for my ex? (Don't get me wrong, I do love my gf and I don't wanna get back together with my ex because I know it wouldn't last).

    Thanks in advance,
    regards,
    Tim

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
    Gender
    Female
    Location
    UK: England
    Posts
    4,570
    Feelings I may have had for an ex, have quickly vanished and when I became involved elsewhere. Especially if I really liked the guy and grew to love him.

    If I was with some guy and had been with him for a year - yet I still couldn't forget the ex...NO, I wouldn't be moving in with him....he is not the 'right' one for me.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Mar 2011
    Gender
    Female
    Posts
    24
    i dont think moving in with her is a good idea however,and ex is an ex for a reason it didnt work out once its not gonna work out again .you need to just let it go coz u might have a good gf who is actually everything you been looking for. my ex did the same thing with me ,he was starting to fall for me but i could tell he still had feelings for his ex bcoz they had just broken up 2months b4 he started dating me.i wasnt aware of that ,He ended up doing things that pushed me away and made me not want to be with him.After we broke up he went to his ex which didnt work out and guess what he came back to me.What im tryna say is dont let a good girl go bcoz your feelings are being selfish ..gosh i feel like doc phil but follow your heart.An ex is an ex for a reason it just didnt work out move on .

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