Question regarding new relationship and certain friendships...

[blue toxin]

So, I ran into a slew of bad relationships. All the while, there were 2 people there for me. They are brother and sister. The brother is like a brother to me, while the sister I started to fall for. Turns out, she was doing the same.

So to fast forward to present time, her and I got together literally 3 days ago. Everything is cool, we're both happy, etc. Her major fear was she didn't want anything to change though, in the context of me and her brother. She didn't want to come between us.

Thing is, he's made suggestions to us dating in the past, plus he knows what kind of guy I am so I was assuming that he'd rather someone like me date his sister as opposed to some jerk.

So anyway, he put 2 and 2 together, figured it out, asked us bluntly, and we were both like, uh, yeah, we are. He went off like "you're f'n kidding me, you're f'n kidding me" etc.

I was confused. What the hell is his problem? Why would he have a problem with me dating his sister? It's not like I'm not hanging out with him anymore, I seen him twice last week.

I think the big shitter here to him is what recently happened. Literally, a day before her and I hooked up, he got screwed over really bad by a girl he was falling hard for. So I think that him getting out of that shitty position and suddenly realizing, oh, my buddy and my sister are both together and happy... that he just feels out of place.

But, at the same token, part of me refuses to feel bad. Pretty much every close female friend I have, he's dated. And every single time, the 3 of us would hang out. Every single time, I was the 3rd wheel. I know what it's like. I know it sucks. But I've never opened my mouth to bitch about it. Now, when he simply HEARS that her and I are dating, he flips, it sends me into defense mode where I want to say "grow up." But, I understand him feeling the way he does...

But, nothing has really happened yet. I mean, nothing has changed. I was hanging out with him last week. I was hanging out with her at different times last week too. I can't help it that this was incredibly bad timing.

So, part of this is causing me to shit my pants, because she was starting to feel guilty and was saying, maybe we should have thought of him more. But at the same token, you can only hang out with the guy so much when he works half of the evenings during the week. His work schedule isn't something that I can control.

But, nonetheless, she felt guilty and went to bed early last night. She's up and I've talked to her this morning and she seems okay, but hopefully when her brother gets up he'll be a little more chill.

What do you guys think though? Hit me with it. Yeah, I'm dating his sister, but I'm not the kind of person (and nor is she) to be all over one another in public. Literally when someone else comes into the room, we're sitting there as if we're just buds. So I'm failing to see how he'll feel like the 3rd wheel if we're just chillin. But, nonetheless, I want to hear some outside opinions. What do you guys think?

[lesa]

Why did you not ask the brother for permission? He's your friend and you could have told him that you were interested in his sister. That would have been so cool and respectful. He could have dealt with that much better than the way you guys did it.

Oh well, that's the past. You can still ask him now.

[starbuck]

I don't think there's anything wrong with dating his sister. But you must realize if your relationship with her goes sour, you might end up losing your friend over it because he will most likely take her side (if there is a "sides" situation).

[XPRabbit]

I don't think there's anything wrong with dating his sister. But you must realize if your relationship with her goes sour, you might end up losing your friend over it because he will most likely take her side (if there is a "sides" situation).

I have 2 great friends that are also sister, one is married and were still close and her sister i have a crush on, when her sister and one of my other friends broke up i got a call from the married one saying that i am forbidden from dating her sister for the shear reason that she can't stand the idea of loosing me as a friend because she would be obligated to take her sisters side. i was kinda flattered and crushed at the same time >.<... the bright side is i never had a chance with her sister to begin with. ^.^ another one of those times where i fell into the friend pile and lost dating rights lol.

[blue toxin]

Yeah, I completely understand what you folks are saying.

I never bluntly said, yo, I'm fallin for your sister, but there were so many times that I would talk about her. If he didn't pick up on it, then... duuur.

The thing I really respect about both of them is how black and white they are. Like, take her for example. My buddy is friends with one of her exes. She absolutely hates him. He thinks he's all right. So right there is an example of how they handle situations individually and don't play the sides game.

Also, her and I had quite a few talks before we started dating. One thing she was PETRIFIED over is something happening between us and our friendship failing too. But the more we talked, the more we realized just how much we clicked. Before I knew it, she was changing her mind and wanted to see what her and I can accomplish together.

It's not like it came out of left field and hit my buddy in the face. His parents have been telling her for a while just how highly they think of me, almost as if they were suggesting it to her. Plus, all of our friends have been doing the same thing. So I really find it impossible to believe that he had no clue about this. I personally believe he did get the hints and understood. I think he just got pissed off when he realized that literally at the same time of him getting screwed over by that girl, that his sister and myself were somewhere else hooking up.

I mean, it sucks, but at the same token, I didn't plan the timing. Last I talked to him, things were great. "All right, talk to you later man." Her and I hook up. A day later I get a call with him pissed off over that girl. What could I have done?

But anyway, I think considering it's a brother/sister situation, that it's one of the better ones to be in considering how mature they are and how they treat each situation individually and don't seem to ever take sides... at least, from what I've seen.

But after posting this, I've talked to both of them this morning, and they both seem cool. He's acting as if nothing ever happened and she's just having a happy sunday relaxing around the house. But, the real test will be all of us hanging out and seeing what happens next.