Just sharing a story :)

[CAM]

So, I'm at work on Friday. The phone rings. I answer, "This is Cameron."

The other end of the phone...from out of nowhere. A woman that I haven't seen since 1999 (and only spent one day with her at a community picnic in another state). She used to call me like once a year and then that stopped around five years ago. Fine with me--it was kind of weird how she'd keep on calling all those years.

But now, she's calling from my town! She's visiting for about six hours (a business meeting) before she is going to return to her home state. Can I meet with her, she asks? BTW: What's really weird is that she had to have done some research on me because my office phone has changed three times since we last spoke.

And, of course, I cannot meet with her due to work. We have a five minute conversation by phone. She tells me that she's engaged (Congrats to her) and then asks if I am married. "No," I replied. She then proceeds to launch into this one minute dialogue about how I shouldn't stop looking, there's someone out there for me because, "Cameron, you are a very handsome, smart, and kind guy. I really mean it. I will never forget how you were with me." Blah, blah, blah.

So, is this typical behavior of women who are about to get married but are getting cold feet because they think that someone they once knew (for one day) might still be available? Kind of strange. Hope she doesn't call again. Didn't really need a rendition of how nice I am and such a great catch during the middle of my lunch break between meetings from someone I hardly knew.

Anyway, a story, but there's a question in there too

[misombra]

i don't think she's having cold feet she just likes you and thinks all those good things about you. nothing wrong with that, imo.

you always think us womens have ulterior motives when trying to be nice to you. i think a lot of us just think you're a good guy, genuinely.

[CAM]

Sincere thanks, Misombra. And, I mean it.

It would be better if they just left me alone. Their fond memories just make me question where I am in life and why? I'm not embittered or hurt, really. But, it has the effect of making me revisit choices I've made or the circumstances of life and makes me wonder about my future beyond my keyboard and the books and articles I write with the side-benefit of distracting my mind from the passage of time.

I don't know if that makes sense to you or not. Your life is quite different than mine and so maybe you have not experienced the life of the chronic, eccentric, reclusive bachelor before? Maybe you know one and so maybe you've seen the same emotional response as what I am expressing.

[Lulu]

Yeah- I see your point. The only time guys got in touch with me again after a long period of time was if they had a motive! I am going downstate this week and thought of calling a guy a dated briefly that lives down there- just to see if he wanted to get together for coffee- but then I thought, "why?". I don't want to get involved with him again, I thought he was nice and it would be convenient to see him- but I don't want to give him the wrong impression or lead him on. Maybe if we had continued a friendship, but what is the point, otherwise??

[IndiReloaded]

Its natural these interactions make you feel a bit wistful, C. That's the word I'd use to describe your story.

Consider: you did something right enough, at some time, to make her want to look you up again. I'd be flattered and pleased, if I were you.

[CAM]

Consider: you did something right enough, at some time, to make her want to look you up again. I'd be flattered and pleased, if I were you.

Yes, that's true. I should be complimented at some level.

My dentist said something similar to your comment. She's always asking me, on my four dental visits per year, why I'm not married, why I gave up on dating over a year ago when (in her words, not mine), "You're smart, handsome, and funny."

[IndiReloaded]

LOL, don't you just love nosey women pushing their genetic and emotional agendas? Well, she was probably just making conversation since the 'why' is obvious, or should have been after the first time. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure it. It might take one, tho, to not ask that specific question out loud in the first place. Or know its the wrong question.

Anyway, I hear you. The only woman who would usefully ask that specific question is the one offering to marry you or maybe your mom. Not much good else, is it? I think its based in not knowing what else to talk about, or finding handsome, interesting, and self-chosen bachelors vaguely uncomfortable.

Guy friends never ask each other this stuff, do they?

[Perryville]

Cam, whenever I'm in an unfamiliar city, I try to find someone I know from there to maybe have dinner or lunch with. I don't think this is anything more than that. Your being paranoid.

[qwertz]

Hmmm, I dunno. Going to all that effort for someone i knew for one day is just not something i would do, especially as she was only in your city for the day. IMO, its a little crazy, maybe she is having a little cold feet, or maybe it felt a totally normal and natural thing for her to do.
Whichever way you look at it, you obviously left a good impression on her.

[CAM]

Well, its not really "paranoid" when the person makes Herculean efforts to reach you by phone (new number and all) and then wants to find out if you are married and then goes on for quite some time about how you are such a nice, handsome person, etc. That's not "normal" behavior, Perry. First of all, I'd be really leery of calling my ex's gfs or possibly people I'd met just once and say, "Hey I'm in town! Let's go out. BTW, you are soo nice and good-looking!" Would you approach things that way? I doubt it. It would be viewed as weird behavior.

[Gigabitch]

You're so suspicious, CAM. Someday I'm going to be in your town, probably with my husband, and I'll contact you and ask you if you can meet us for lunch. You'll then log on here and tell everyone you're sure were were trying to get you into an MFM threeway.

[CAM]

You're so suspicious, CAM. Someday I'm going to be in your town, probably with my husband, and I'll contact you and ask you if you can meet us for lunch. You'll then log on here and tell everyone you're sure were were trying to get you into an MFM threeway.

I wouldn't think that. Plus, I'm not into threeways. Hell, I'm lucky if I can organize a two-way involving me and some nice, normal woman.

If I recall, your husband is quite a chef, right? So, I'd immediately think that you were inviting me to a gourmet meal.

[CAM]

Plus, the whole situation you propose is totally fictitious, Giga. I mean, who would actually voluntarily come to my town for lunch? Really. Let's get serious....

[sookie6]

Very often people want to be nice and offer advice to me on dating and finding the one.

They encourage me to 'believe'...I just ignore them. They seem to think I lack confidence or maybe that I have given up...well no I haven't but I just don't think that love is a department where you can be pro-active. I mean it's really part of fate or chance whether you feel a connection with someone.

Personally my only effort in love searching is to keep fit, happy and as pretty as I can...to remain eligible so to speak

On the original subject I like it when people contact me even when it's from a long time ago. I think it's nice.

I seldom turn down an invite...there's always something good to learn when meet someone for coffee...even if it's actually discovering a new coffee place!!!

The only reason I turn down invitation is when someone makes me feel down...someone who is depressing to listen to...someone negative and worse...a know-all...