To ask him or not to ask him that is the question

[ShyBubble]

I'm in college and have a major thing for a guy (for the past year and a half) who was my lecturer last year. He hasn't taught me this year and I know I won't have him again for the duration of the course nor would I be pursuing any studies in his field after completing my degree. I am near thirty and he is just over thirty. He is single and I have many examples of words and actions over the past 1.5 years that give me good reason to believe that the interest is mutual.

I have spent a year and half feeling really strong for this guy, telling myself to get over it, finally feeling a bit better only to turn into a little kid and have my feelings flare up again when I see him...it's a never ending cycle which gets really tiring...even painfull.

I'm highly tempted to send a very short email stating in essence that it doesn't look like the opportunity will arise in person, but could we go for drinks sometime and apologies in advance if deemed inappropriate.At least this way even if the answer comes back as a no then I have my answer and I can try and put this to rest...if not I'll always always be wondering and I'll go through the same thing next year!

What's stopping me? On a smaller scale the embarressment and fear of rejection but on a grander scale...student and prof...not highly ethical and the complexities behind such a relationship were something to happen...

Would be very grateful for your thoughts!

[Volk]

I'd go for it!
As you are similar age, and you aren't 20, which would typically be frowned upon I guess.

[Peter Pry]

You are no longer his student, and if you will never again be his student, then there is no conflict of interest and having a drink with him would not be unethical.

[ShyBubble]

Well I did it! Finally after a year and a half of feeling this way for him and having him say and do certain somewhat subtle, but not too subtle things that make me believe it goes both ways....So now I sit and somewhat nervously await his response....I think I have my responses ready whether it's a yes, no or somewhere inbetween....