Very strange situation..

[To0C0oL]

So I put myself into a decently big pickle very recently (last weekend)..

A little back info/story.. Its gonna be a long read, so if you are going to bitch about it, stop reading now..

So my best friend has been dating this girl for 2 months, they are both 22.. He has only been in 1 other "meaningful" relationship and that was back when we were in high school..

Now Ive been working 80+ hours lately and I haven't had much time to hang out with anyone, so I have only met his girlfriend 3 times up until last Thursday..

She is Armenian and has only been in the country 8 years.. She is a Dental Hygenis(sp?) and I haven't been to the dentist in at least 10 years, so she needed :not so great teeth" to examine to get a lab grade.. So I take last Thursday off to go let her examine me.. I have a 4:45 appointment, my buddy wants to get some food before hand, so I show up about 2 hours early.. Little do I know, they are not doing so well.. Fighting, the whole 9 yards, whatever..

So we eat and then go back to her dorm room so they could talk..45 minutes later, she leaves the dorm room in tears to go get her lab ready for me (I was sitting in the lobby while they talked).. After she leaves I go in and talk to him because he is asking me for advice, so i get some more info..

1. She lost her virginity to him
2. They want different futures (He wants marriage/kids later, she wants sooner)
3. He moved into her dorm on the SECOND date (which I did not know previously)
4. She loves him, he does not love her

So, obvious answer here is to pack your shit up and haul ass.. So after a few minutes of convincing, we do.. The whole way down the 4 flights of stairs (do not ask me why a brand new dorm room does not have an elevator, which he had some heavy shit).. The whole way down the stairs he is like "man, you cannot go to the appointment".. So I'm like, ok, whatever, I don't really care about the appointment, I was helping you out..By the time we get to his car, he is saying "Man, you have to go, she will know I left. You have to go and don't tell her I left".. So, again, I do not care and I go.. The very first question she asks me is "Did he leave?" I reply with "I do not know, I met up with some other friends shortly after you left"..

She does her evaluation and I end up having to get "de-scaled" (which hurts like a mother ****er if you have never got it done).. I could tell she is upset by the tone of her voice and I could tell she was almost crying.. Anyways, fast forward to when I'm leaving.. She looks at me and goes "Would you mind walking me to my dorm, I don't want to be alone if he is not there".. I knew where this was heading, but I still led myself down the path.. If you have read it this far, then you probably already know what is about to happen..

We get to her dorm, she sees his stuff gone.. She seems ok about it, she ask me if I'd like to go get some food with her.. I can see the black hole forming, and there is no escape.. I say "Sure, we can go get something to eat".. She goes and changes, then comes back out, gets near me looks, at me and starts BALLIN.. puts her head on my shoulder, whatever.. 20 minutes later, she doesn't say a word while crying and she composes herself so we can get something to eat.. We go to the local sports bar, we sit at the bar, she goes to the bathroom immediately.. When she comes back, she moves her stool right next to mine, and basically sits on my lap.. We start drinking (which apparently she told my best friend she does not drink).. Food is ordered, she is feeding my french fries, I'm feeding her french fries, fries mouth-to-mouth like some cutesy lady and the tramp type shit.. Flirting the whole entire time and it is literally taking every ounce of self-control to not take this any further..

We can't think of anything to do where we wouldn't have to drive, so I think we are calling it a night.. I walk her up to her dorm room, tuck her into bed.. I sit down next to her bed and we start talking, next thing I know, I'm laying in her bed with her on top of me and we cuddle and play around (nothing really too sexual, I mean my hands wondered and she didn't stop me)

So I leave the next morning and I meet my friend for dinner.. He asked me "So what happened last night?"

What do I say?

"Nothin really, I ate dinner with her and her friends and slept on the lobby sofa"

Then he ask me "Man, lets go see the new James Bond movie"

I reply with "Nah dude, I'm too tired"

An hour later, I'm gettin out of the shower and going to the club with his ex-girlfriend....

I didn't tell him, but he was bothering me monday about wanting to get back together with her and wanting to message her, so I tell him not to do it until I talk to him.. I leave work early, tell him what actually happened.. He kicked my out of his house and I have not heard from him since.. Ive messaged him twice and called him once, no answer..

After I told him, I called her and gave her a heads up.. She INSISTS that we did nothing wrong, at all, not a damn thing wrong.. She does not understand exactly what happened and she down played what we actually did to him..

So here is my question..

He already has stated to me several times he does not love her.. Its a 2 month old relationship.. Can he REALLY be this ****ing mad at me?

How does she NOT think what we did was wrong?

Do I pursue this? She may not have been his match, but she sure the **** is mine.. We have been talking pretty much every day since then.. I mean, I really, really do not want to lose my best friend, especially over a woman, but how mad can he really be?

If you have read this far, you have better reply.. haha

[1averagejoe]

She's his ex...you don't go out with friend's ex's like that. He cares for her, he's full of shit telling you that so he doesn't sound like he's a pussy. Even if he didn't care for her you did that behind his back, he's your best friend man. At the very least you could have asked him if it was ok with him before doing that.

You lost his trust. Whether or not you feel that she's your match, you're the rebound guy. Period, that isn't going to last. Your friendship has already been compromised and really it's up to him if he can trust you again.

The only choice you have is to see her or not, stick with her and the friendship is definitely gone. Don't and there's still the possibility that you lose that friendship.

My question is, what the hell were you thinking?

[LadieNisha4u2nv]

How would you like if you had broken up with your girlfriend and the same day your own friend went out with her? Dont you think you wouldve been mad as well? I give him no wrong for being upset, even if he didnt love her. Obviously he liked her if he dated her, you dont have to love somebody to want them in your life still. It just didnt reach that level for him yet. And you got in the middle of it by flirting around with her or whatever you'd like to call it. I dont see how you expect to keep this friendship with your friend if you still want to pursue this girl. It's one or the other.

I suggest working on your friendship over this girl. She'll do it to you too later down the road.

[TheTooya]

How mad can he really be?

To answer your question, pretty damn pissed. Regardless of how deep his feelings for this girl may have been, at the very least he would (and should) feel double crossed by you. Not only with the situation, but with the fact that you lied before explaining the truth.

Shes downplaying the situation because in her shoes thats probably the best thing she can do. She may or may not be interested in you, she may or may not be using you to get back at her ex.

Whether or not you do decide to pursue this, your best friend will feel a little betrayed by you. If you do pursue this, then you will widen the gap between you and your friend...

[To0C0oL]

She's his ex...you don't go out with friend's ex's like that. He cares for her, he's full of shit telling you that so he doesn't sound like he's a pussy. Even if he didn't care for her you did that behind his back, he's your best friend man. At the very least you could have asked him if it was ok with him before doing that.

You lost his trust. Whether or not you feel that she's your match, you're the rebound guy. Period, that isn't going to last. Your friendship has already been compromised and really it's up to him if he can trust you again.

The only choice you have is to see her or not, stick with her and the friendship is definitely gone. Don't and there's still the possibility that you lose that friendship.

My question is, what the hell were you thinking?

This is my absolute best friend, he does not, nor would not, tell me he didn't love her just to act tough.. If he said that shit, he meant that shit..

And I was not thinking.. I got caught up in the moment and could not get out of the moment.. Trust me, I tried, I wanted to, but the girl is seriously top 3 most beautiful woman I have ever seen (personally) in my life and being the Assistant Manager of a very high traffic night club, Ive seen a lot of dime pieces and she is at the top.. I couldn't stop myself and I am actually proud that I did not try to do anything else with her..

How would you like if you had broken up with your girlfriend and the same day your own friend went out with her? Dont you think you wouldve been mad as well? I give him no wrong for being upset, even if he didnt love her. Obviously he liked her if he dated her, you dont have to love somebody to want them in your life still. It just didnt reach that level for him yet. And you got in the middle of it by flirting around with her or whatever you'd like to call it. I dont see how you expect to keep this friendship with your friend if you still want to pursue this girl. It's one or the other.

I suggest working on your friendship over this girl. She'll do it to you too later down the road.

I do not blame him 1 bit for being mad.. I would be too, but I'm pretty sure I'd be over it by now.. I know he cared for her, but he is the 1 that left her, not vice versa, she wanted him to stay..

[To0C0oL]

Shes downplaying the situation because in her shoes thats probably the best thing she can do. She may or may not be interested in you, she may or may not be using you to get back at her ex.

Yea, I've done ****ed myself pretty good on this 1..

[Mish]

He already has stated to me several times he does not love her.. Its a 2 month old relationship.. Can he REALLY be this ****ing mad at me?

He's probably a lot more mad at you than you can imagine. Truth be told it didn't really matter if he loved her or didn't love her at all. You were his best friend, he trusted you and you shouldn't have intefered with his past. How can he trust you again after this?

How does she NOT think what we did was wrong?

She's lying, ofcourse she knows it's wrong. She probably feels really guilty and wants to downplay the whole thing to make it easier on herself. To feel less guilt.

Do I pursue this? She may not have been his match, but she sure the **** is mine.. We have been talking pretty much every day since then.. I mean, I really, really do not want to lose my best friend, especially over a woman, but how mad can he really be?

If you want to pursue this it's entirely up to you. You may have already lost your best friend over this. The difference might be, if you give up now he might still talk to you sometime in the future, if you don't then that's it for the two of you imo.