Hi everyone,
I have a questions for all of you.
I have joined an online dating site and I met a man who doesn't live too far from me. He looks great (at least on the pictures he sent to me) and he has a great job. He told me he has 2 little boys and his wife died in a car accident. He told me that he is Irish and needs to go to Ireland this weekend for the WEEKEND only to see his mom. Would that be possible? How can you travel internationally for 2 days only?
Now he came up with the brilliant idea to meet in person before he leaves. He wants to meet this Friday. Should I go? I am a little nervous because I don't know if he is a scam or not. He has my number so we have been texting. He makes lots and lots of grammatical errors. I know that is also a sign but he could be born in Ireland and English might be his second language. What if I go and he is not the man I thought he is? I know that if he cancels on me (last minute) he is a scam.
Please advice!!!!
For those who responded to my previous post....I am not seeing the married Irish man. You were all right...he just wanted an affair.
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Thread: Am I being scammed?
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09-09-15, 11:13 AM #1
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Am I being scammed?
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09-09-15, 11:32 AM #2
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Suggest you have a brief phone chat before meeting him...or perhaps anyone. I find it to be far more revealing than someone's texts when assessing credibility.
I'm not certain I understand your question re: intl travel. NYC to Dublin is only 6-7hrs non-stop.
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09-09-15, 11:50 AM #3
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A phone chat will be a great idea. I will try to speak with him...how about if he is trying to get away from it? He actually mentioned he wanted to call me last night...but he never did...He apologized this morning telling me he got really busy with a project he has been working on. I also didn't insist.
My question about the travel: it didn't seem real to me...flying internationally only for 2 days (for pleasure...seeing his mom). It will probably take 7-8 hours. So it will take about 14-16 hours round trip. Do people actually travel internationally for 32 hours tops? I mean could he tell the truth?
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09-09-15, 12:10 PM #4
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Too busy to talk is too busy for dating/relationships. Anyway it's only a weekend trip, so if he cannot make time to speak on the phone then just wait till he returns, speak, and meet then.
It's a passport and a couple grand...sure it's possible he's telling the truth. I'd likely not go to Ireland for just 2 days, but I don't have relatives there either. It sounds a bit made up, and if it was one of my first interactions with someone new...I'd probably find it a bit tough to take, but it's certainly possible. Talk on the phone, establish some credibility. Perhaps casually ask a question or two for which you already know the answers and gauge his responses.
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09-09-15, 12:26 PM #5
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I will! Thank you solarion. I will keep you posted....if I talk with him this weekend and/or if we meet.
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09-09-15, 12:38 PM #6
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You're welcome. Good luck.
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09-09-15, 05:27 PM #7
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"Scammed?" You are the boss of you. If you don't go to bed with him, if you only have a cup of coffee with him to see how you click in person, then how do you believe he COULD scam you even if he was trying.
Drive your own car and meet him at your local coffee shop so that you can exit stage left at your control and he doesn't know where you live.
If you like one another and he calls you for an actual date when he gets back from what ever or who ever he is doing on the weekend, then keep the control and don't give into any lust you have for him until you know 100% for sure that he's not married.
Its not so hard when you be the boss of you and refrain from letting others take control of you and over ride any of your good decisions and boundaries.“The willingness to accept responsibility for one’s own life is the source from which self-respect springs.” ~Joan Didion
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09-09-15, 08:37 PM #8
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I have flown to the middle east for 2 days/2 nights... 17 hours each way.
That said, it sounds as though you are too invested in him, considering you haven't even met. Wait till he gets back, and maybe meet him for coffee. You probably won't even like him, and will feel silly that you invested more than 10 minutes thinking about a complete stranger.
In the future, if you continue the online dating, I suggest you meet early (coffee or lunch dates in a public venue), and avoid the endless text messaging. Odds are high that most of these guys are not ones you would date in real life, so don't waste a lot of time interacting with a stranger.
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09-09-15, 09:02 PM #9
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He wants to meet in person? Going to say that's not a scam based on not being the kind of scam I'm used to seeing, as scammers don't usually want to meet in person. On the other hand, grammatical errors is usually a tell-tale sign.
Originally Posted by johanna1
The term "Weekend" isn't confined solely to 2 days. Most of my weekend vacations usually include a Friday, a Monday, Both, or leak into Tuesday, Thursday, or even Wednesday. Really, the suspicious part is that he has to travel to Ireland for such a short time and has two kids and no spouse to watch them.
When I got scammed, you could put the text into a search and it popped up. Lots of asking questions, but not answering your questions is the major indicator of a scam.
Hope this helps!Laissez les bons temps rouler!
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10-09-15, 04:34 AM #10
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SuperHappyTime1,
He told me that he has a nanny taking care of his boys. He told me that he also has to fly to New York today and yesterday he booked his flight and he tried to text me the file with his ticket but my phone wasn't able to download it because it was too large. So it failed. He texted me this morning telling me he is on his way to the airport but he will be back in town on time to meet on Friday night. I guess he will be leaving on Saturday to Ireland but if we see each other on Friday, I can ask him. yesterday I asked him if we can speak on the phone and he said he will still have to work for couple of hours and he will be busy preparing for the trip to New York. I got scammed once online when the guy I was talking with pretended to be in the military and asked for money. I am afraid this may be the case too. I am afraid he will cancel our "date" on Friday. I know usually scammers do that on the last minute invoking whatever reason. We will be able to meet Friday after 9:00 p.m. and I want to go to some restaurant so we can be in public. I will drive my own car. However, he told me he wants to meet in a quiet place so we can talk and get to know each other better. Also, his cell number from which he texts doesn't have a Virginia area code. When he texted the file with his ticket....looked that he didn't texted it from the same number. Maybe her used a link? I don't know! I am confused. I really hope he is NOT a scam!!
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We text...but not much! We probably exchange about 7-8 texts a day...and short ones as well (like how is the day going, plans for the day, etc). He didn't come really hard on me with love stuff...sometimes he is texting like a short love text but I really think it was taken off the internet and didn't write it himself. When he does that..his writing skills are good. However when we text about the day his writing skills are not too great! I suggested to meet on Friday night at a restaurant (I am busy until about 8:00 p.m.) around 9:00 p.m. I tried to speak with him yesterday on the phone but he said he can't because he was busy booking his trip to New York and plan for the trip but he said he will be back in town on time so we can meet Friday night.
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Solarion,
I suggested yesterday to speak on the phone but he said he was busy planning his trip to New York and book his ticket. He sent me a file with his ticket but my phone couldn't download it because it was too large. He said he will be back on time to meet Friday night. I guess he will leave to Ireland on Saturday? Also, his cell area code is not a Virginia area code. Would that be a sign? When he texted the file...his number didn't show up. maybe he used a link? I don't know. Why would he send me the file? To gain my trust?
